Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 11:39:46 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm not looking for perfection.

I'm looking for a man who can fulfil the most important needs of mine, and who could fill the wants in time.

And that's the most important phrase - "in time". I don't want 'instant love and perfection'. I want a relationship that challenges us so that each time we achieve the goal (or don't achieve it), we grow a little bit more as a couple.

I'm wired for monogamy. I don't want someone to say "you cannot full this particular need/want of mine, so I will find someone else who can give it to me NOW".

I don't want someone to take away the opportunity to aim for these goals together. I don't want short-cuts and instant fixes. I want the challenge of making a strong relationship that we've built from the ground up and that will last us a life time.

YMMV.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 12:58:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		We're able to choose between mono and poly. Despite what you lamented, neither one is that bad. Much better than solitude.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 9:39:05 PM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

We're able to choose between mono and poly. Despite what you lamented, neither one is that bad. Much better than solitude.



this was a very powerful quote!

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 9:42:56 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I have always believed that monogamy flies in the face of love because love is supposed to be unconditional while monogamy says: "I love you as long as you don't stick your dick in/spread your legs for someone else"



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 9:51:51 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Love is supposed to be unconditional? It's not usually, is it?

And when monogamy breaks a relationship, it's the dishonesty that does it, not the sex. Sex is trivial, lying and breaking a vow is not.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 10:00:56 PM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline 		Thats true. Im often lost at times of how much emphasis gets put on sex though

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 10:23:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		All my life I took what is considered a 'masculine' approach to sex. I was never promiscuous, but I did some very selective sportfucking, and had an FB for years. Sex was just an activity, and fun, and not deeply meaningful.

That being the case, I absolutely understand how betrayed a person can feel if the person who swore to be faithful to them felt the need for some strange. Because shouldn't we, as evolved human beings, be able to control those kinds of urges? Yes, we should.

I gave up married guys when I turned 40, and never looked back. Gave up sportfucking when I turned 45... now that I'm 49, I'm not sorry about either decision.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 10:25:53 PM   
ElleStClaire


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/17/2011
Status: offline 		I feel the need to reply, but admit, I only scanned through the convo..

I am Poly by nature
I work as a professional in the adult entertainment / sex industry (including Pro Domme) and more..
(porn star, producer, escort, PSO & Webcam performer.. you name it)
I am married to someone who also has worked in the industry also (and still does at times) and we have worked together including films for big name companies.

We are happily monogamous..

Here's the thing to avoid any "disputes" or arguments...

To me and us.. being Poly means you share equal, although maybe different, but EQUAL Love between more than one person..
Being Monogamous means you share Love with only One person..

It has little to do with SEX.

Being IN a relationship is a choice no matter what type it is.
when we got together (going on 8 years now) she asked if I could be monogamous, and I CHOSE to be so.. even though that is not my nature.

I made a choice and have stuck by it and don't feel a 'loss'.. but that's me..

Just like being Bisexual does not mean you must be poly or cheat.. it simply means you "Could" be happy with either a male or female..

to me, it is all a choice.. and. just like in ALL relationships.. sometimes things change which amounts to a divorce

anyway.. just my thoughts :)

(PS. sorry about CAPS - i don't know how to B or I here yet)



(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 10:53:07 PM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

All my life I took what is considered a 'masculine' approach to sex. I was never promiscuous, but I did some very selective sportfucking, and had an FB for years. Sex was just an activity, and fun, and not deeply meaningful.

That being the case, I absolutely understand how betrayed a person can feel if the person who swore to be faithful to them felt the need for some strange. Because shouldn't we, as evolved human beings, be able to control those kinds of urges? Yes, we should.

I gave up married guys when I turned 40, and never looked back. Gave up sportfucking when I turned 45... now that I'm 49, I'm not sorry about either decision.



I think weve all done a reasonable amount of sportfucking , but then you matured!


_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/22/2012 11:25:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I didn't stop because I got old! I stopped because empty physical experiences were no longer good for me.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 12:35:56 AM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I didn't stop because I got old! I stopped because empty physical experiences were no longer good for me.



I feel like that now...its like I can get pussy ...thats no problem...I want fulfillment and a nice set of toes in my mouth as I go

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 1:06:55 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I have always believed that monogamy flies in the face of love because love is supposed to be unconditional while monogamy says: "I love you as long as you don't stick your dick in/spread your legs for someone else"



Peace and comfort,



Michael


I'm poly. I'll love you till you get drunk and start beating the hell out of me without my consent.

That's a condition, too. It's just a different condition.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 2:21:52 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Even as someone who has been in poly relationships and found them very fulfilling for the majority of their duration I do not agree with the OP. It is, I suppose a complicated issue because love is so complicated. There are so many different kinds, sometimes you love someone because they turn you on just to look at them, sometimes you love someone because you can sit and talk about films or books for hours and sometimes you love someone because you know they will be there for you always. Any time I have loved someone for those reasons that is why I love them, I do not sit and think about where they are not perfect where things could be better what is the point (although I do occasionally imaging being ravished by Johnny Depp but then who doesn't?)

Polyamory for me happens, I don't look for it I just look for the opportunities to be happy, thats what relationships are about. You need to feel better with someone than when you are alone or else you should be alone. What I believe is that all people should feel able to love in that way if they want to, monogamy may be the norm but that doesn't mean it is the only way.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 6:49:27 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I have always believed that monogamy flies in the face of love because love is supposed to be unconditional while monogamy says: "I love you as long as you don't stick your dick in/spread your legs for someone else"



Peace and comfort,



Michael



His sticking his dick in someone else doesn't stop me from loving him, but it does stop me from trusting him, and I can't be with someone I don't trust.

ETA: Love, to me, is wanting the best for someone. If he is dipping his wick elsewhere, then I'm not the best for him and he is best off seeking happiness elsewhere.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 7/23/2012 6:50:41 AM >

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 7:27:14 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Love is supposed to be unconditional? It's not usually, is it?

And when monogamy breaks a relationship, it's the dishonesty that does it, not the sex. Sex is trivial, lying and breaking a vow is not.


Exactly. I don't care if he fucks someone else. Sex does not equal love. However, lying to me or hiding it is a deal killer.

Next, I'm happily monogamous. I'm happily married. He is not responsible for my happiness. I don't understand the concept that your SO is supposed to fulfill your every want or need. We're imperfect human beings not omnipotent.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 7:31:40 AM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Perfection only exists in mathematics, physics and the dreams of poets.

Only one of those is real and it has a very grim conclusion (heat death of the universe.)

Stop looking for perfection, it is depressing. You've got a very short amount of time on this planet, if monogamy doesn't do it for you then look for something else; just because it doesn't work for you does not mean it isn't a good answer. I envy the people who have found happiness that way. A relationship requires compromise on both sides, even in D/s. Everyone who says differently is lying; whether to the listener or to themselves.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 7:34:01 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think love is cursed by individual actions, not monogamy. Monogamy is great when you are happy with someone.

I also think that cheating in any form, physical or emotional, signifies a problem in the relationship or person. If you are having a great sex life with someone and you care about them, why go elsewhere? I never understood that.

If there is an issue, communicate first, do not lie or cheat.

I find I am getting more old fashioned the older I get.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 12:10:03 PM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Perfection only exists in mathematics, physics and the dreams of poets.

Only one of those is real and it has a very grim conclusion (heat death of the universe.)

Stop looking for perfection, it is depressing. You've got a very short amount of time on this planet, if monogamy doesn't do it for you then look for something else; just because it doesn't work for you does not mean it isn't a good answer. I envy the people who have found happiness that way. A relationship requires compromise on both sides, even in D/s. Everyone who says differently is lying; whether to the listener or to themselves.

quote:

Perfection only exists in mathematics, physics and the dreams of poets.



thats a kick ass quote!!

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 1:27:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I have always believed that monogamy flies in the face of love because love is supposed to be unconditional while monogamy says: "I love you as long as you don't stick your dick in/spread your legs for someone else"



Peace and comfort,



Michael

Who on God's Green Earth (sorry, Hib) ever told you that?

There's a shitload of things that people can do besides sex that most certainly are conditions that would end a relationship.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy - 7/23/2012 2:24:33 PM   
OneKinkyArtist


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I have always believed that monogamy flies in the face of love because love is supposed to be unconditional while monogamy says: "I love you as long as you don't stick your dick in/spread your legs for someone else"



Peace and comfort,



Michael

Who on God's Green Earth (sorry, Hib) ever told you that?

There's a shitload of things that people can do besides sex that most certainly are conditions that would end a relationship.






very true @LadyPact...emotional fuckery is a precursor to physical fuckery

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Love is Cursed by Monogamy Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078