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How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 5:50:55 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		I posted in the Positive Experiences section, but didn't name the person because I didn't have their permission to do so. The post was removed because of this unwritten rule (must name the person). I was surprised it was removed for that reason though, since it was a near miss platonic meet anyway.

I'm really fine with that - I don't really much care about the post being removed, or the rules perhaps needing to be updated. This post is not about that.

This post is about privacy. I thought the person probably wouldn't care since it's a positive experience. But still, it's their right to have privacy, and not have someone else they don't really know, advertising their private social life. Heh heh, not to mention, meeting the likes of me

The unwritten rule is silent on obtaining the other person's consent. In fact, the guidelines encourage the OP to include many details, such as where and when. And, it says you don't need to be involved with them, which to some, would seem to encourage more drive-by posts without obtaining consent, which again, isn't required anyway.

Yah, I know this is an odd thing to ask opinions about, and I'm not really trying to particularly effect any change here or give the admins a hard time (or bitch about it for that matter). It just strikes me as Orwellian backwards odd.

How do you feel about this? Would you like someone posting in positive experiences about you, without first discussing it? And what if it was an old romance, with an emotional or hard break up? Would you want that person posting about your (prior) positive experiences and naming you?


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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 5:58:42 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		There must have been another reason it was removed. I just checked out a few random posts, in that section, and 3 of the ones I checked don't name the other person.

eta some important shit!

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 6/4/2012 6:06:38 PM >

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:01:17 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Would you like someone posting in positive experiences about you, without first discussing it? And what if it was an old romance, with an emotional or hard break up? Would you want that person posting about your (prior) positive experiences and naming you?


I think your second example is why there should be a rule about first obtaining consent, which would most likely be very casual in the first case.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:09:51 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		that would be my first reaction too, but the admin was very clear...

quote:

Please be advised that your post has been removed as it did not reference who you had met. While it is not specified in the guidelines, we do require threads in Positive Experiences to state the usernames of the parties involved.


disclaimer: again, i'm not bitching about this, i'm fine with it, just showing you, there's no doubt.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:12:52 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		That's odd. I've posted several times about meeting other, usually making it clear that it was platonic. I named names and frankly can't imagine why anyone would get upset at me saying I met them platonically.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:15:01 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Wow...I don't write on here much but you seem like a real attention hound with the kind of questions and frequency of questions you ask.....just an observation....

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:20:24 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

I named names and frankly can't imagine why anyone would get upset at me saying I met them platonically.

I can imagine all sorts of scenarios. What if one of them had an irrationally jealous Dom/me? I can imagine all sorts of other possibilities & drama. i'm not saying it likely with you, i'm just imagining.

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 6/4/2012 6:26:11 PM >

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:22:31 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Wow...I don't write on here much but you seem like a real attention hound with the kind of questions and frequency of questions you ask.....just an observation....

yes, you're correct. i admit, i post things like this on an internet board to get attention.

so, tell me, what's it like for you, to post, but not want attention? don't you hate it when people reply to you? sorry i did that!

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:25:36 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I have posted about people I've met, we do it often after CM meets. So what? The point is to post about poeple you've met here, so you're not outing them.

You have a lot of paranoid thinky thoughts, don't ya?

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:26:31 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on who replies to me....it can be a good thing or a not so good thing..we are human anyway..well most of us......Enjoy your hot Summer out in the valley...whew! (luckily today is not so bad out there!)

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 6/4/2012 6:27:13 PM >

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:28:07 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		lolz no! i hadn't thought of the outing angle. good point though, mrs paranoid

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:29:22 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

that would be my first reaction too, but the admin was very clear...

quote:

Please be advised that your post has been removed as it did not reference who you had met. While it is not specified in the guidelines, we do require threads in Positive Experiences to state the usernames of the parties involved.


disclaimer: again, i'm not bitching about this, i'm fine with it, just showing you, there's no doubt.

Well, the times I have had questions, I have actually written the mod who sent me the letter. Questions answered, and no one even knew about it.

Honestly, if you weren't meaning to bitch, I see no reason for this thread.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:29:34 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		you too! *smooches*

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 6:31:23 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

that would be my first reaction too, but the admin was very clear...

quote:

Please be advised that your post has been removed as it did not reference who you had met. While it is not specified in the guidelines, we do require threads in Positive Experiences to state the usernames of the parties involved.


disclaimer: again, i'm not bitching about this, i'm fine with it, just showing you, there's no doubt.

Well, the times I have had questions, I have actually written the mod who sent me the letter. Questions answered, and no one even knew about it.

Honestly, if you weren't meaning to bitch, I see no reason for this thread.

i just like making observations and discussing, period. i think that's part of what makes a board good. i'm hearing all sorts of other perspectives that i never would have thought of myself, like outing someone.

really, that's it, no more, no less.

if i was upset about it, i would have complained (here, and to the mod who pulled the thread), and THEN this might be a bitch thread. as an aside, it's interesting to hear your perspective (that you think i'm bitching) when i know (only i can know what's in my head) i'm not, and even disclaimer it saying i'm not. and i thank you for that.

edit ps - and sure, I'll admit, i posted it not only to hear how wrong i can possibly be from every possible angle. from being paranoid with unimaginable and silly concerns, to being an attention whore for posting new threads on a slow forum (/sarcasm) - it's all good and fun. but i also posted to also hear people agree or at least relate to what i'm saying and intelligently discuss it.


< Message edited by Karmastic -- 6/4/2012 7:05:11 PM >

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 8:07:42 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Lost in minutiae.

Forget the details and it'll snap into place. Either it's "just policy" and so already explained (making discussion moot); or it's relevant but aimed at the wrong group (i.e. ask the mod and the anonymous).

I recently had a bit of a lost moment myself. Then I got back on track, and wrote about it. (Don't worry, I'm not projecting, just offering serendipitous advice that may hopefully help.)


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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 8:24:19 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		How do you feel about this?

Would you like someone posting in positive experiences about you, without first discussing it?
No
And what if it was an old romance, with an emotional or hard break up?
No
Would you want that person posting about your (prior) positive experiences and naming you?
No

I'm thinking that with the amount of time you already spend with a keyboard at your fingertips, it wouldn't take more than a simple email asking permission to discuss your meetup before sharing someone's username publically.

The question is, why didn't you ask permission in the first place, or discuss with that other person that you'd like to post news of your meeting?

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 9:00:40 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

How do you feel about this?

Would you like someone posting in positive experiences about you, without first discussing it?
No
And what if it was an old romance, with an emotional or hard break up?
No
Would you want that person posting about your (prior) positive experiences and naming you?
No

I'm thinking that with the amount of time you already spend with a keyboard at your fingertips, it wouldn't take more than a simple email asking permission to discuss your meetup before sharing someone's username publically.

The question is, why didn't you ask permission in the first place, or discuss with that other person that you'd like to post news of your meeting?

it's a longish story i don't want to get into.

re time spent - i have mucho time to waste lately. it's about the journey, not the destination. this thread and people's perspectives are more interesting than actually getting permission and making the post, which again, wasn't a big deal to me.

RemoteUser - sorry, not sure if i got your point or not. i thought people would have stronger opinions about consent, so yeah, maybe the wrong audience, if that's what you meant. it's all good.


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If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 9:55:25 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		I get consent before posting in PE, thus, I know it's OK with the person to use their name. NOT using a name sort of defeats the purpose of writing about meeting another CM member.

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/4/2012 11:24:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It would depend on the news. For example just recently, Master told someone that I was having a different type of surgery than lipo. I asked him why and he said he felt that it was a private thing for me. I told him I didn't care. I'm not embarrassed by it.

Now if it was something extremely personal and I did care, I would want the person to ask me first, positive or negative, except for Master. He could do as he chooses of course.

But for the most part, there's not much in my life that I'm not open about. My life is pretty much an open book. I just see no need to keep most things personal but I don't shout from the rooftops either.

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Everything has changed

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RE: How do you feel about this? - 6/5/2012 5:55:40 AM   
LizDeluxe


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
How do you feel about this? Would you like someone posting in positive experiences about you, without first discussing it?


It would be a nice gesture to ask first. I have seen people post comments in other forums (like OTD) about people they have met here before. I would probably ask first just to make sure the other party didn't mind. I'd hate to have a nice meeting with someone that showed potential only to rub them the wrong way by making them feel like I was too chatty in public.

As to the note you received from the admin - that's just plain stupid on their part. If user names are required then that should be addressed in the guidelines. I love how the mods here on CM make up the rules as they go.

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