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commen manners - 5/6/2012 4:15:48 AM   
Nighthawk56


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		let me put it out there to all you subs .i understand that a lot of you get tons off messages and cant always reply but when you do and then start a coversation at least have the manners to end it with a message not just simply no return post its very frustrating to not know the reason why one stops messaging
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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 4:22:23 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		It's been said before. No doubt it will be said again:

No reply IS a message. Move along = nothing to see...

(in reply to Nighthawk56)
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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 4:42:29 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nighthawk56

let me put it out there to all you subs .i understand that a lot of you get tons off messages and cant always reply but when you do and then start a coversation at least have the manners to end it with a message not just simply no return post its very frustrating to not know the reason why one stops messaging


This isn't a particular problem to submissives. There are plenty of people who do this in any walk of life on any kind of site and in real life too. Who hasn't had it happen is more like it. Sometimes people stop responding, who knows why? It might be them, it might be you- maybe you put them off for some reason. Much of the time when a woman says no thanks the guy gets nasty- it's easier to just disappear. Sometimes people do the disappearing act to avoid emotional responses. It's frustrating, but rather unrealistic to expect that people will stop doing something that suits them at the time.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 5:01:02 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		On several occasions I've failed to reply to a message from someone.

Why?

Because:

1. There was nothing to reply to - the conversation was already limping painfully to an undignified death.
2. The sender had said something so dumb or crass that any reply would have exceeded my snark quota for the year.
3. The sender had ignored subtle and not-so-subtle signs that I didn't want to continue to chat with them.
4. Something had come up in r/l that was a lot more urgent, and I simply forgot to respond.
5. Any one of a thousand other reasons.

Experience has shown me that sending a polite but firm message that I don't want to continue a conversation usually results in either a rabid attack on my looks/personality/parentage, or seriously embarrassing and pathetic whining. Rarely does it end well.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 5:40:13 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nighthawk56

let me put it out there to all you subs .i understand that a lot of you get tons off messages and cant always reply but when you do and then start a coversation at least have the manners to end it with a message not just simply no return post its very frustrating to not know the reason why one stops messaging

Why would we stop doing this? It brings about such wonderful entertainment when you oh-so-domly-men come to the boards and do your whine routine. As predictable as a five year old.



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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 5:44:03 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, for them, less mature than most 5 year olds also.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 5:45:10 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Unfortunately, for them, less mature than most 5 year olds also.

That is oh so true

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 6:33:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps they're not interested in a man who's cheating on his wife, and they don't need a roller door repaired.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 6:55:49 AM   
LordOdinn


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/22/2011
Status: offline 		Maybe the just don't like guys who can't spell "common"?

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 7:03:15 AM   
sincelo


Posts: 122
Joined: 12/30/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

On several occasions I've failed to reply to a message from someone.

Why?

Because:

1. There was nothing to reply to - the conversation was already limping painfully to an undignified death.
2. The sender had said something so dumb or crass that any reply would have exceeded my snark quota for the year.
3. The sender had ignored subtle and not-so-subtle signs that I didn't want to continue to chat with them.
4. Something had come up in r/l that was a lot more urgent, and I simply forgot to respond.
5. Any one of a thousand other reasons.

Experience has shown me that sending a polite but firm message that I don't want to continue a conversation usually results in either a rabid attack on my looks/personality/parentage, or seriously embarrassing and pathetic whining. Rarely does it end well.



oh so very much this

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 7:44:59 AM   
Damacis


Posts: 45
Joined: 7/27/2011
Status: offline 		Exchange of messages are "at will." Meaning any party, at any time, for any reason, can cease communication. This is the case even in real life so why would it not be online, where potential ramifications are infinitely less? Does it suck sometimes when someone stops talking to you out of the blue and you're left without the reason? Definitely. But C'est la vie, move forward.

Edit: Oh and pro tip: might wanna work on your spelling. Leaving out one of the 'r's' in prerogative is probably ok but I hear the ladies don't like blatant, lazy grammar errors.

< Message edited by Damacis -- 5/6/2012 7:47:30 AM >

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 7:49:01 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Perhaps they're not interested in a man who's cheating on his wife, and they don't need a roller door repaired.


~snort~

Yup, spot on as usual.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 8:20:14 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nighthawk56

let me put it out there to all you subs .i understand that a lot of you get tons off messages and cant always reply but when you do and then start a coversation at least have the manners to end it with a message not just simply no return post its very frustrating to not know the reason why one stops messaging


You have asked for no strings fun from sub's that are bored. You got some no strings attention, so why are you placing some strings to the whole situation? They were bored enough to chat with you, but that doesn't mean that is all they want and you just don't fit what they want. Your double standard here is obvious. Maybe that is in part why they no longer wanted to talk to you. Maybe they were hoping you really didn't mean no strings and you might actually come to like them in time (self delusion), but in talking to you, they knew they couldn't lie to themselves because you really weren't going to find value in them.

There could be many reasons why someone would just keep on walking and not talking. However, when you start with... looking for bored submissives that only want some no strings fun... aren't you lacking in manners in the sense that you aren't looking for anything of real worth other than in the moment and showing that you don't value the person... just the no strings fun? Why would they need to show some manners or value when you haven't? Manners go both ways. When you treat people as if they are only worth some no string fun and that really is all you have to offer... at any time, they have the right without obligation... which is what you wanted... to walk away and not talk any further.

You cannot walk into a situation that could be seen as disrespectful in lacking anything of real worth and expect respect and something of worth. Seems to me, you almost got what you were seeking.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 8:43:13 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

However, when you start with... looking for bored submissives that only want some no strings fun... aren't you lacking in manners in the sense that you aren't looking for anything of real worth other than in the moment and showing that you don't value the person... just the no strings fun? Why would they need to show some manners or value when you haven't? Manners go both ways. When you treat people as if they are only worth some no string fun and that really is all you have to offer... at any time, they have the right without obligation... which is what you wanted... to walk away and not talk any further.




I don't think the fact that he is looking for no-strings means he's being disrespectful. Of submissives, anyway. (I do believe he must be married, sooo....he may be being quite disrespectful, there.) But I'm sure he's not the only person out there looking for no-strings fun. And I'm sure there are people out there that would be fine doing that with someone who's married. He's being up front about it, and I don't believe that equates to a lack of manners. No, I don't think he's being disrespectful to any submissives by stating exactly what he's looking for.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 8:49:33 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

However, when you start with... looking for bored submissives that only want some no strings fun... aren't you lacking in manners in the sense that you aren't looking for anything of real worth other than in the moment and showing that you don't value the person... just the no strings fun? Why would they need to show some manners or value when you haven't? Manners go both ways. When you treat people as if they are only worth some no string fun and that really is all you have to offer... at any time, they have the right without obligation... which is what you wanted... to walk away and not talk any further.




I don't think the fact that he is looking for no-strings means he's being disrespectful. Of submissives, anyway. (I do believe he must be married, sooo....he may be being quite disrespectful, there.) But I'm sure he's not the only person out there looking for no-strings fun. And I'm sure there are people out there that would be fine doing that with someone who's married. He's being up front about it, and I don't believe that equates to a lack of manners. No, I don't think he's being disrespectful to any submissives by stating exactly what he's looking for.


You do have a point there. I guess I have my own take on disrespecting people and manners. When you want no strings fun... then put strings on it, I question a few things. When you don't value someone other than for some no strings fun... then expect some respect or manners, it just doesn't add up to me. lol

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 8:54:28 AM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		Let me sink to your level and answer your whine with a whine of my own:

Why do guys chat with me for a couple days then just disappear without a word? When you contact me again weeks or months later and I tell you I've moved on, why do you get angry and tell me I'm a terrible submissive who doesn't understand that a dom might be busy and can't be online all the time?

OK, whine over.

Grow up. It's the internet, pumpkin.

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(in reply to Nighthawk56)
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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 9:11:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Your wife's been contacting them, telling them you're cheating, and asking them to disappear. Which they do because they don't want to be named in a divorce suit.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 10:51:29 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nighthawk56

let me put it out there to all you subs .i understand that a lot of you get tons off messages and cant always reply but when you do and then start a coversation at least have the manners to end it with a message not just simply no return post its very frustrating to not know the reason why one stops messaging

You're positive that it's the desperate needy sub you've been messaging who has no manners or idea how to hold a conversation, rather than the dominant who they've decided has sent them a message that doesn't even warrant a response?
That could explain the problem you're having with this, you know. Think about it.

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RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 1:49:18 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Usually when I don't respond back, it's because the email you sent me contained nothing for me to respond TO.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: commen manners - 5/6/2012 2:01:38 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		I dont have to respond to anyone on this site ever - period. Thats MY prerogative ----

abtw -It has nothing to do with manners.

It has everything to do with you putting your expectations on people/strangers that use a public free site.

Youre frustrated? LOL -----> welcome to planet earth. Where the hell have you been?
Its pretty funny that you are such a control freak that you actually feel that you need to post something like this to take control of other peoples actions so they dont frustrate you.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 5/6/2012 2:04:26 PM >

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