fucktoyprincess
Posts: 2337
Status: offline
|
Okay, I wrote my answer below and then on re-reading your question realized that you might be focusing on the picture aspect. Anyway, I've answered addressing both pic and additional info about the person. Sorry if that's not what you are actually asking.
I will meet someone without a face pic, if they've provided me with a detailed description of what they look like. But I will not meet anyone without some basic information about themselves and their interest in BDSM. When I meet people without a pic, it is probably a 50-50 thing - half the time I'm attracted to them, half the time not. Odds are much improved if I've seen pics, particularly a face picture, because I screen out those who I don't like the look of (and yes, this begs the question of whether or not I would have been attracted to them had I just met them in person without the pic - who knows). The other thing for me is that I cannot always glean chemistry from a pic. Sometimes I see a pic and think, yes, and I meet them, and within two seconds, I know the answer is going to be no. Chemistry is chemistry for me and it is not just about objective photogenic good looks. So the pic thing is a toughie because I never feel like it tells me about chemistry. I have to like someone's pic to agree to meet, but agreeing to meet doesn't mean I will be attracted to them in real life.
I also have to have at least a bit of personal information about someone if I am going to meet them, particularly if I'm corresponding with them on a site like this. I typically meet for just a daytime coffee, not drinks, to make it clear that nothing else is going to happen on that first meet. My concern (and maybe I'm being overly cautious), is that given what I've expressed an interest in, and given that I've identified as a bedroom submissive, some men (particularly men who are not BDSM experienced) seem to interpret this as meaning "easy" or "trolling for sex" - neither of which I'm doing. So I have to ascertain some basics about someone (like how much experience do they have in BDSM, what exactly are they looking for, as well as some personal information, like what they do professionally, etc.). Sometimes this information is already in the profile, but even then, I will ask the questions again. It has been my personal experience that people (men and women) who are experienced with BDSM or who are genuinely curious about this world, are actually quite forthcoming about personal information - at least the type of personal information that one would typically share on the Internet with a relative stranger.
I don't have the same information sharing concern when I meet people in a vanilla setting for a vanilla situation. I've been set up on blind dates by friends (with people who they only knew casually). I've shared a drink at a bar during happy hour with someone I've just met. But those have not been situations where the men knew that I enjoyed being tied up and spanked :) I just feel that type of vanilla interaction is one where I, also, have not revealed too much about myself, and where the expectations are not going to be mismatched. And I do not ever go home with someone who I have just met, ever.
I receive a lot of e-mail on sites like this that can only be described as either just plain weird or downright misogynistic and scary. While I delete those right away, I'm always mindful that some of the more appropriate mail that comes through could still be from someone weird or scary. And I'm not interested in investing any of my time with someone like that. To the extent I can engage in conversation with them, I can glean a lot about someone by what they are willing to share and screen for certain things right off the bat. To me the "mystery" of the blind date from an information perspective is not worth it in terms of risk.
And I do agree with the poster who said even meeting for coffee with someone you've shared a lot of information with is still like a blind date. In a sense, we never really know someone until we've gotten a chance to know them. I guess it's all a question of at what point in the getting to know each other stage does one feel comfortable meeting face-to-face.
Again, this approach has worked successfully for me in terms of finding partners, so I'm disinclined to change my approach.
_____________________________
~ ftp
|
Blind Dates - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread