RE: Blind Dates (Full Version)

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TNDommeK -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 6:09:20 PM)

Well this is one instance that I would listen to your instincts.



fucktoyprincess -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 6:19:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

I guess I am a bit more hesitant -
When Im approached by an empty profile - that has little info to offer, Im just not willing to go and meet some stranger who I have no idea who they are, what they are, if their married, have 16 kids, just got out of federal prison, who knows. I always assume the worst when approached this way. I just dont think its normal. I also would rather have my brain filled with anticipation of meeting someone I actually like.

I more or less am talking about the types of mail that reads something like this -

I like what I see - how about dinner and drinks? And usually it doesn't even come to three messages - this is usually the first mail.
I dont see any logic in it.


I can only guess that people who do this get some response from those who are seeking the same (?) I would assume if people try these tactics repeatedly it is because someone, somewhere gives them what they want. Obviously not you or me, and not many on this thread, but someone out there must be.

Otherwise, we can safely assume that people who contact you like this are just plain stupid. In other words if the tactic never works, and someone keeps using it - well - stupid is as stupid does....



xXLithiumXx -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 6:37:43 PM)

Warning...Blind Date Horror story Enclosed.

My idea of "blind dating" must be out dated. Which is odd. Im not that old. Blind dates used to be a that you got hooked up with a friend of a friend based solely on the idea that you may get along?


That was the last time I blind dated anyone...and when dood showed up? I wanted to smash my "friend" in the face with a brick. Im 5'10 1/2 in my bare feet...this cat was like 2'2. I'm like...okay passably cute...this guy looks like kermit the frog..(I am NOT kidding) I am somewhat well read...he was drawing with fat crayons. Like...Im a kinda gothie...emoish...skater...weirdo? I dunno..he was wearing a freaking cowboy shirt.

-facepalm-

As for internet dating...I have meet a few people from the net, both for to "play" and as friends...(less than 10, more female than male, more friends than play) I don't really care for internet blind dates, so I tend to avoid them. It's easy to seem sane when you are typing. It's harder to hide the crazy when the other person is looking you in the face.



littlewonder -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 6:37:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

I guess I am a bit more hesitant -
When Im approached by an empty profile - that has little info to offer, Im just not willing to go and meet some stranger who I have no idea who they are, what they are, if their married, have 16 kids, just got out of federal prison, who knows. I always assume the worst when approached this way. I just dont think its normal. I also would rather have my brain filled with anticipation of meeting someone I actually like.

I more or less am talking about the types of mail that reads something like this -

I like what I see - how about dinner and drinks? And usually it doesn't even come to three messages - this is usually the first mail.
I dont see any logic in it.


I guess for me even when I was single, when I met someone I had no expectations of meeting them as a possible person to date. I just saw them as someone to have a drink and a conversation with and nothing more. If something else happened, great. If not, no skin off my back. I got out of the house and had a drink that someone else paid for lol.



DesFIP -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 7:02:39 PM)

We met without exchanging pictures. Before cell phones and I didn't know how to scan one in and attach it to email. Windows 95, I think.

This was from another site and he had an empty profile. I was still in my nice mode of answering all emails. I was new, obviously because you learn soon not to do that. He sent me a one liner, and I sent him a two in return. However, inside of half a dozen emails we were writing long letters several times a day.

All I can tell you is that some guys aren't writers, they're doers. He may be a great auto mechanic but can't write a letter to save his life. If you can ask some questions, and get honest answers, that's worth more than the most professionally written profile.

I've got to say, judging by some of your posts, that if they've read what you've written, you do know one thing about all these guys, they aren't weak. Because you can go for the jugular when you think it worthwhile.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 7:11:50 PM)

If they didn't expect anything more than conversation, and i was single or in an open relationship, and i had gotten to talk to them a little bit, and got a feel for them i'd go on a blind date. Why, because it's a chance to get out, and sometimes make new friends. I've agreed to meet after only an hour of speaking to someone. If an interest is there, even only after an hour of talking, i don't see why i should dick around for months or weeks or what ever to see if i find them as interesting in real life as i do in yahoo or on the phone.



JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 7:16:26 PM)

Ah .. but heres definitely one of the crux's of this whole matter -

I also have pics of myself on my page - so THEY know whom they are meeting - thats why they are asking me out. Based on my LOOKS. I have zero info on my profile about who I am or what Im doing here. - And that also registers with me - that this person is wanting to get to know me based on the way I look - I just find that so shallow. And of course they NEVER offer me a pic. Which I consider rude. (oh yes and lets not forget the fact, that they ALWAYS ask me for more - EYE-ROLL)

Ive met guys where they are just model-made ten shades of gorgeous - but when the open their mouths - its like NO, PLEASE DONT. Forrest Gump had a higher IQ than you do -


quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Looks are a complex issue. I really do feel that looks don't matter to me. But I know they do to some people. So there is a full body shot of me on my profile, so you won't be tricked into thinking I am any size but the size I come in. Some people write becasue they don't care. Some people write because they prefer BBWs. Some people write because they like women with low self esteem. Ppl like that seem to often assume that a larger person will automatically have the low self esteem they seek. They tend to get offended when I surprise them on that account. For thos in the middle, who prefer BBWs - I have to ask - will you still be interested in me if I lose wieght? Not because I'm losing wieght, but because I would prefer to date someone who sees me as more than a body type.

There are things that matter to me, that get bundled in the title 'chemistry'. Well, i call it prejudice, and it embarrasses me, but I don't seem to be able to change it, we want what we want and like what we like. I like intellegence. And a certain kind of voice. I wish I didn't care quite as much about those things, but I do.




tsatske -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 7:30:44 PM)

I tend to answer almost all letters, and almost always politely, though occasioanlly bluntly. If someone locals first letter was 'let's meet for drinks and dinner' I would probably write back, great, let's corrospond a short while and get to know something about each other, and see if we want to do that. OTOH, I once had a guy who's first letter to me was 'This Sat you will meet me at the xyz coffee house at the corner of first and A street, at 6:pm. Wear a black skirt, white shirt, no undies or bra, and 2 inch or higher black heels'. I am not making that up. that was his first letter to me. My letter back started with, no, not likely, LOL



bamabbwsub -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 7:33:18 PM)

~FR~

I don't have a problem with meeting someone face to face within 3 e-mails, but if someone approaches me and wants to meet me in the *first* e-mail? I tend to think that he's just trolling and/or trying to boost his ego.

"Hey, this chick will meet me...not that I want to really meet her...but she wants to meet me" kind of thing.

I also have a problem with people who aren't willing to share a photo and/or some basic information about themselves. As someone said, it's the willingness to share the information that counts. I'd much rather find out that we have nothing in common before I take a shower, fix my hair, find something nice to wear, and put on make-up, since my time is valuable to me.

With all that said, though, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. And when you do that, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 11:36:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Ah .. but heres definitely one of the crux's of this whole matter -

I also have pics of myself on my page - so THEY know whom they are meeting - thats why they are asking me out. Based on my LOOKS. I have zero info on my profile about who I am or what Im doing here. - And that also registers with me - that this person is wanting to get to know me based on the way I look - I just find that so shallow. And of course they NEVER offer me a pic. Which I consider rude. (oh yes and lets not forget the fact, that they ALWAYS ask me for more - EYE-ROLL)

Ive met guys where they are just model-made ten shades of gorgeous - but when the open their mouths - its like NO, PLEASE DONT. Forrest Gump had a higher IQ than you do -




Just another reason I don't post a picture.  I don't exchange pictures immediately.  I've had the same experience with the good looking guys as you, dumb as a stump.  I've also had great conversations and when we finally exchanged pictures, I was really put off.  I'm not superficial and want only the "model-made ten shades of gorgeous," average will do.  However, I kind of expect a picture to show me a guy who bathes regularly and has teeth.  Shit, I don't even care if they aren't his and he takes them out at night and tosses them in a glass, but put them in for the freaking picture!  I've also had the guys who insist on sending me their picture up front, even knowing I won't send on in return, and then deal with theme fishing for the compliments with the, "what do you think?  Do you find me attractive?"

There is NO winning and no way which works better than the other.  In a first email, don't ask me for a phone number or to have dinner, drinks, etc.  Not going to happen.  If after 2 or 3 emails, if they ask, I gauge it on what was said in those emails.  If I feel I need more info, I say so.  If not, then I see nothing wrong with setting up a meeting for coffee, making sure they are aware, there will be absolutely NO kink even discussed, but that this is to meet and see if there is anything in common.



JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 5:24:46 AM)

quote:

However, I kind of expect a picture to show me a guy who bathes regularly and has teeth.


lol !!



TNDommeK -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 11:20:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Ah .. but heres definitely one of the crux's of this whole matter -

I also have pics of myself on my page - so THEY know whom they are meeting - thats why they are asking me out. Based on my LOOKS. I have zero info on my profile about who I am or what Im doing here. - And that also registers with me - that this person is wanting to get to know me based on the way I look - I just find that so shallow. And of course they NEVER offer me a pic. Which I consider rude. (oh yes and lets not forget the fact, that they ALWAYS ask me for more - EYE-ROLL)

Ive met guys where they are just model-made ten shades of gorgeous - but when the open their mouths - its like NO, PLEASE DONT. Forrest Gump had a higher IQ than you do -


quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Looks are a complex issue. I really do feel that looks don't matter to me. But I know they do to some people. So there is a full body shot of me on my profile, so you won't be tricked into thinking I am any size but the size I come in. Some people write becasue they don't care. Some people write because they prefer BBWs. Some people write because they like women with low self esteem. Ppl like that seem to often assume that a larger person will automatically have the low self esteem they seek. They tend to get offended when I surprise them on that account. For thos in the middle, who prefer BBWs - I have to ask - will you still be interested in me if I lose wieght? Not because I'm losing wieght, but because I would prefer to date someone who sees me as more than a body type.

There are things that matter to me, that get bundled in the title 'chemistry'. Well, i call it prejudice, and it embarrasses me, but I don't seem to be able to change it, we want what we want and like what we like. I like intellegence. And a certain kind of voice. I wish I didn't care quite as much about those things, but I do.





I've always said mute buttons would be great for some people.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 12:18:51 PM)

I (used to) meet folks all the time without benefit of a face pic, and oftentimes they hadn't seen me, either. Not without having some conversation first, and some idea that we were interested enough to at least kill an hour over coffee.



Karmastic -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 12:39:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX
Ah .. but heres definitely one of the crux's of this whole matter -

I also have pics of myself on my page - so THEY know whom they are meeting - thats why they are asking me out. Based on my LOOKS. I have zero info on my profile about who I am or what Im doing here. - And that also registers with me - that this person is wanting to get to know me based on the way I look - I just find that so shallow.

i don't really get this! you only have a pic of you (great pic) and no info about u in your profile. but you look down on anyone who replies to your profile because they're obviously too shallow. what's the point of having the profile up? what's a win scenario here?

i've replied to some profiles like yours, and my one liner is usually something like "is there more about you?". i might also mention if we're very close geographically, or mention if i like her hair or something else interesting. does that make me shallow, more than anyone else?



JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 5:06:00 PM)

I think there is a bit more important things in people than their looks. And when that person doesnt ask me anything about what Im doing here - what Im into or how about this - what is your NAME? Makes me wonder what they want. And since Ive been around the block some - If all they have is pics to go by, and its a MALE - c'mon now, you dont have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

I have a profile up with my pics - so the ones who do message me - can communicate with me, but for me - Im more into the pre-screening route, instead of the: insta-date-I-dont-want-to-exchange-any-into-with-you-just-meet-me-because-I-know-that-you-have-nothing-better-to-do-route.

Believe me - I have other things to do - like try, just about anything.

Also - that is in line with my original post - I DONT like being asked out by people I know nothing about - and DONT know what they look like. So thus I asked - does this work for anyone - and YES - from answers posted here, I got my answer. Its good for me to see how other people think and view things, It helps me understand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX
Ah .. but heres definitely one of the crux's of this whole matter -

I also have pics of myself on my page - so THEY know whom they are meeting - thats why they are asking me out. Based on my LOOKS. I have zero info on my profile about who I am or what Im doing here. - And that also registers with me - that this person is wanting to get to know me based on the way I look - I just find that so shallow.

i don't really get this! you only have a pic of you (great pic) and no info about u in your profile. but you look down on anyone who replies to your profile because they're obviously too shallow. what's the point of having the profile up? what's a win scenario here?

i've replied to some profiles like yours, and my one liner is usually something like "is there more about you?". i might also mention if we're very close geographically, or mention if i like her hair or something else interesting. does that make me shallow, more than anyone else?




fucktoyprincess -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 7:29:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Also - that is in line with my original post - I DONT like being asked out by people I know nothing about - and DONT know what they look like.


If I were you, I would just put this in your profile. It might spare you some time.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Blind Dates (4/19/2012 8:49:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

There are several questions in here -

So - I just gotta know,
On a pretty consistent basis - Im asked out by guys on this site that want to meet up for drinks within the first three messages, and they offer zero info about themselves, very little discussion about anything -and of course- they offer no pics.

The best part is, I think they are actually pretty serious that they really DO want to meet up!

I have no idea what can be going on in their minds - does this actually work for them?
Have you ever gone and met someone from this site that offers nada about themselves and for what ever reason youre into blind dates? Are they exciting or something? Ive never done it, because personally, the appeal factor for this type of thing rates a big ZERO with me ... but -

If you have - could you share your story and why this is appealing?
If not - why not?



You're a sock puppet.

Do you have any concept of how attractive sock puppets are?

(I'd fuck you).



OsideGirl -> RE: Blind Dates (4/20/2012 7:49:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


i've replied to some profiles like yours, and my one liner is usually something like "is there more about you?".



That's a lot different than asking someone out for dinner or drinks. If someone wants to meet and the only thing they know about you is your photo....and they don't ask about anything else.....it means the photo is what drove the question.



kalikshama -> RE: Blind Dates (4/20/2012 8:25:09 AM)

quote:

I more or less am talking about the types of mail that reads something like this -

I like what I see - how about dinner and drinks? And usually it doesn't even come to three messages - this is usually the first mail.


My experience is that there is also a TONIGHT tacked on this type of email. Erm, no thanks. I'm not a Plan B and I don't respond to the shotgun approach.



risktaker9 -> RE: Blind Dates (4/20/2012 8:44:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Also - that is in line with my original post - I DONT like being asked out by people I know nothing about - and DONT know what they look like.


If I were you, I would just put this in your profile. It might spare you some time.


It wouldn't do any time saving for her. So many guys either don't read what's in profiles, or do and it doesn't register somehow, or do and think they will change your mind - they always think they are the exception.



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