Blind Dates

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JanahX -> Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:04:30 AM)
There are several questions in here - So - I just gotta know, On a pretty consistent basis - Im asked out by guys on this site that want to meet up for drinks within the first three messages, and they offer zero info about themselves, very little discussion about anything -and of course- they offer no pics. The best part is, I think they are actually pretty serious that they really DO want to meet up! I have no idea what can be going on in their minds - does this actually work for them? Have you ever gone and met someone from this site that offers nada about themselves and for what ever reason youre into blind dates? Are they exciting or something? Ive never done it, because personally, the appeal factor for this type of thing rates a big ZERO with me ... but - If you have - could you share your story and why this is appealing? If not - why not?

OsideGirl -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:14:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX I have no idea what can be going on in their minds - does this actually work for them? Some guys think submissive women are easy because they'll do whatever they say, especially with a few drinks in them. (I doubt they'd keep that opinion for long with you) Some guys are desperate. Some guys are genuine. That's where my advice ends...because we've been together so long that we pre-date the CM site. When I was single and hung out in SoCal room on AOL, I wouldn't meet anyone unless I had chatted a few times and had some idea that we might mesh.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:16:51 AM)
I have met people from this site purely platonicly (well, once not so platonicly) with no pictures or more info except chatting on yahell for a few mins. I generally send a g rated one of myself. A bit over a decade ago, I met a woman that I had chatted with for a couple of months with no pic exchange. She described herself as 'average'. I dunno where she bought her mirror but she lied like a rug. Holy FUCK she was hot.[8D]

OsideGirl -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:20:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam I have met people from this site purely platonicly (well, once not so platonicly) with no pictures or more info except chatting on yahell for a few mins. I generally send a g rated one of myself. A bit over a decade ago, I met a woman that I had chatted with for a couple of months with no pic exchange. She described herself as 'average'. I dunno where she bought her mirror but she lied like a rug. Holy FUCK she was hot.[8D] I wish you were closer Mr. Rooster. I get the feeling you'd be fun to hang with.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:33:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam I have met people from this site purely platonicly (well, once not so platonicly) with no pictures or more info except chatting on yahell for a few mins. I generally send a g rated one of myself. A bit over a decade ago, I met a woman that I had chatted with for a couple of months with no pic exchange. She described herself as 'average'. I dunno where she bought her mirror but she lied like a rug. Holy FUCK she was hot.[8D] I wish you were closer Mr. Rooster. I get the feeling you'd be fun to hang with. If you and your Sir are ever in the area, lunch is on me.

ashjor911 -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:42:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX So - I just gotta know, On a pretty consistent basis - Im asked out by guys on this site that want to meet up for drinks with those green eyes..... the question is why are you still single..??? is there a line where all the guys wanting to go out with ya?

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:42:58 AM)
I get this a lot too, except they are sub males. And no, I don't agree to meet with them for coffee even unless and until they can open up enough with me to see if we mesh. For some, this seems to be very difficult (not sure why). Still, even if I have chatted with someone enough to think we'd mesh, I still consider that first coffee or lunch date a blind date, ya know?

JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:45:23 AM)
Because I was just FUCKED by someone I cared about and Im healing... sometimes that takes a few minutes. quote: ORIGINAL: ashjor911 quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX So - I just gotta know, On a pretty consistent basis - Im asked out by guys on this site that want to meet up for drinks with those green eyes..... the question is why are you still single..??? is there a line where all the guys wanting to go out with ya?

tsatske -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 8:49:49 AM)
some people don't type well. So after a few short messages, I'll agree to a chat on the phone. This leads to them having a chance to open up more. I don't consider meeting for coffee a big commitment, it's gonna be a vanilla meeting. But I do want to know something about them first. Then we can have a 3 hour chat in which they open up about nearly everything, then still stand me up the next day, leading me to find out their married. Oh, well, there's just no perfect system.

littlewonder -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 11:25:20 AM)
Yup, used to do it all the time. I don't see the harm of meeting complete strangers for a drink. I mean you do it in bars and places all the time, so why not the internet? If you don't like them then you finish your drink, stand up, tell them you had a nice time but you don't think you're compatible, shake their hand and leave. When I met Master I knew nothing about him at all and only ever saw a blurry picture of him that he posted. He asked me to meet him, I said sure, why not? What did I have to lose except an hour or so out of my night? Thankfully it turned into more than an hour. [:)]

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 11:59:41 AM)
Okay, I wrote my answer below and then on re-reading your question realized that you might be focusing on the picture aspect. Anyway, I've answered addressing both pic and additional info about the person. Sorry if that's not what you are actually asking. I will meet someone without a face pic, if they've provided me with a detailed description of what they look like. But I will not meet anyone without some basic information about themselves and their interest in BDSM. When I meet people without a pic, it is probably a 50-50 thing - half the time I'm attracted to them, half the time not. Odds are much improved if I've seen pics, particularly a face picture, because I screen out those who I don't like the look of (and yes, this begs the question of whether or not I would have been attracted to them had I just met them in person without the pic - who knows). The other thing for me is that I cannot always glean chemistry from a pic. Sometimes I see a pic and think, yes, and I meet them, and within two seconds, I know the answer is going to be no. Chemistry is chemistry for me and it is not just about objective photogenic good looks. So the pic thing is a toughie because I never feel like it tells me about chemistry. I have to like someone's pic to agree to meet, but agreeing to meet doesn't mean I will be attracted to them in real life. I also have to have at least a bit of personal information about someone if I am going to meet them, particularly if I'm corresponding with them on a site like this. I typically meet for just a daytime coffee, not drinks, to make it clear that nothing else is going to happen on that first meet. My concern (and maybe I'm being overly cautious), is that given what I've expressed an interest in, and given that I've identified as a bedroom submissive, some men (particularly men who are not BDSM experienced) seem to interpret this as meaning "easy" or "trolling for sex" - neither of which I'm doing. So I have to ascertain some basics about someone (like how much experience do they have in BDSM, what exactly are they looking for, as well as some personal information, like what they do professionally, etc.). Sometimes this information is already in the profile, but even then, I will ask the questions again. It has been my personal experience that people (men and women) who are experienced with BDSM or who are genuinely curious about this world, are actually quite forthcoming about personal information - at least the type of personal information that one would typically share on the Internet with a relative stranger. I don't have the same information sharing concern when I meet people in a vanilla setting for a vanilla situation. I've been set up on blind dates by friends (with people who they only knew casually). I've shared a drink at a bar during happy hour with someone I've just met. But those have not been situations where the men knew that I enjoyed being tied up and spanked :) I just feel that type of vanilla interaction is one where I, also, have not revealed too much about myself, and where the expectations are not going to be mismatched. And I do not ever go home with someone who I have just met, ever. I receive a lot of e-mail on sites like this that can only be described as either just plain weird or downright misogynistic and scary. While I delete those right away, I'm always mindful that some of the more appropriate mail that comes through could still be from someone weird or scary. And I'm not interested in investing any of my time with someone like that. To the extent I can engage in conversation with them, I can glean a lot about someone by what they are willing to share and screen for certain things right off the bat. To me the "mystery" of the blind date from an information perspective is not worth it in terms of risk. And I do agree with the poster who said even meeting for coffee with someone you've shared a lot of information with is still like a blind date. In a sense, we never really know someone until we've gotten a chance to know them. I guess it's all a question of at what point in the getting to know each other stage does one feel comfortable meeting face-to-face. Again, this approach has worked successfully for me in terms of finding partners, so I'm disinclined to change my approach.

TNDommeK -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 12:18:44 PM)
I don't see any issue with a guy treating you to drinks or dinner. Who knows, there might be one you meet who is actually good for you. In the process, you should still be treated and enjoy yourself in the mean time. Could be fun!!

Karmastic -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 2:00:32 PM)
Great question! I can only speak for myself as a man that has tried vanilla sites, and has just started conversing with women at this site. My preference is to gradually increase the contact and communication. First, with emails here, then perhaps switch to regular email and chat. And then at least one good phone conversation before meeting for coffee. The expectation is setup that this is just a friendly meeting, no more. I think most of us know within 5 minutes if there's chemistry. That said, I've done a lot more, and a lot less - it just depends on the situation and person. I had a woman so into me that she almost insisted on sleeping with me the first time we met. Even though that turned into a lot more than a one night stand, her attitude on sex (e.g., upon her first visit to my place, with her 10yo son sleeping in the next room) did play into why we eventually broke up. I say "to each their own". You already know there's plenty of weird creeps, or let's say, people who don't match your lifestyle or expectations (whether they're weird creeps or not). I think that approach obviously works for some men and women, at least sometimes, otherwise it wouldn’t be so prevalent.

Kaliko -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 3:27:29 PM)
I've done it in reverse, not here but off of FetLife. He hadn't seen a picture of my face until we met. I offered, he said don't worry about it, I said wow you're brave, and he said "I'm pretty sure we can handle a conversation together no matter what." And you know what? I kind of like that attitude. So, yes, I suppose I can see the appeal. Why not just meet someone and have a good conversation? What else is it all about other than sharing the experience of life with others? I'm sure I lack the balls to do it myself, though. Oh, but moving quickly? As in, meeting only after one or two emails? Yes, all for it. The sooner the better. I'm not getting any fucking younger.

JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 3:47:27 PM)
I guess I am a bit more hesitant - When Im approached by an empty profile - that has little info to offer, Im just not willing to go and meet some stranger who I have no idea who they are, what they are, if their married, have 16 kids, just got out of federal prison, who knows. I always assume the worst when approached this way. I just dont think its normal. I also would rather have my brain filled with anticipation of meeting someone I actually like. I more or less am talking about the types of mail that reads something like this - I like what I see - how about dinner and drinks? And usually it doesn't even come to three messages - this is usually the first mail. I dont see any logic in it.

punisher440 -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 4:15:16 PM)
I like to at least have several im or phone convos before agreeing to meet someone.Most people given enough time can write a email [or cmail] that might give you a false sense of who they are.But with a im or phone conversation,I seem to get a better feel for who the other really is.So far all I have meet,except for the one that sent me a pic that did not even look like her and the stalker,all have matched their pics and have been pretty much as said.Now some were not what I was looking for and vice versa,some I knew were not right but made great friends. I do have friends that met someone on a blind date that turned into long term relationships,but I know we all know of others that had dates from hell too.But I try not to look at this type dating like buying a lottery ticket and hoping for the best,I try to invest a little time before the actual meeting to get to know the other person first.

LizDeluxe -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 4:54:40 PM)
When I was meeting people online who didn't share info and pics the lack of info and pics in and of itself didn't bother me. The unwillingness to share same is what put me off. At that point it didn't matter what they looked like or other particulars about them. It wasn't that I didn't know what they looked like. It was that they did not want me to know what they looked like. That triggers the spidey sense quicker than anything.

JanahX -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 5:02:23 PM)
nods head up and down ------> YUP

Karmastic -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 5:53:46 PM)
haha spidey sense. that, along with creep-ar i don't get creep-ed out so much as i know (from a man's POV) that she's prob either overweight, or she thinks she's overweight (this was on vanilla site). it only happened once, haven't thought of it for a long time. at the time, it bothered me that i had invested in someone (time and emotionally in a sense) and when we met, she had totally misrepresented herself physically. despite what our moms told us, looks do matter, sometimes enough to fool us into calling it "chemistry".

tsatske -> RE: Blind Dates (4/18/2012 6:09:12 PM)
Looks are a complex issue. I really do feel that looks don't matter to me. But I know they do to some people. So there is a full body shot of me on my profile, so you won't be tricked into thinking I am any size but the size I come in. Some people write becasue they don't care. Some people write because they prefer BBWs. Some people write because they like women with low self esteem. Ppl like that seem to often assume that a larger person will automatically have the low self esteem they seek. They tend to get offended when I surprise them on that account. For thos in the middle, who prefer BBWs - I have to ask - will you still be interested in me if I lose wieght? Not because I'm losing wieght, but because I would prefer to date someone who sees me as more than a body type. There are things that matter to me, that get bundled in the title 'chemistry'. Well, i call it prejudice, and it embarrasses me, but I don't seem to be able to change it, we want what we want and like what we like. I like intellegence. And a certain kind of voice. I wish I didn't care quite as much about those things, but I do.

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