How close do you let strangers get... (Full Version)

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farglebargle -> How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:02:45 PM)

If you're walking alone at night, and someone starts following you. When you turn or walk faster they obviously follow you.

How close to you let this stranger get before you're concerned about your safety?



TheHeretic -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:20:13 PM)

Where am I walking? What time of night?



ShibsStories -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:27:56 PM)

Until they do something they proves themselves hostile.
I live in a happy little world where people are innately good until proven otherwise.
(yes I understand the naivety. I am happier this way, so I choose these views. And you might be surprised how many people come through when approached by someone who expects something other then the worst from them)

For all you know it could be some guy who just needs to use your phone.



farglebargle -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:28:26 PM)

The location: A place where you have every lawful right to be. You are going about your lawful business.

Let's say you're walking home from the candy store at about 7:30 pm.



MusicalBoredom -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:40:54 PM)

I addressed this in the Geraldo thread but I think most of us base our safety thoughts on the other person as well as the environment. For example I frequently sit next to an obvious homeless person while wait for the the ferry at the terminal but I am hyper aware of surroundings late at night in an empty subway station when any stranger approaches me. I have to point out that being aware or feeling on guard isn't the same thing as me thinking they might do something to me -- it just means I'm extra cautious in some circumstances.



DesFIP -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:45:10 PM)

Immediately. If I cross the street to get away from them and they cross after me, speeding up so I can't get away, I would immediately be concerned.

Back when I lived in NYC I knew every open store and restaurant in my neighborhood and had no problem ducking into one to wait ten minutes.

Around here, small town, fairly safe, you don't have to worry till after 1:00 when drunks start leaving bars. But I know where the cops park to patrol downtown.

But 7:30 wouldn't be a time I would expect this. Usually stuff happens after midnight.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:46:38 PM)

Just some person on the street? I'm okay with people on the street. People who are walking erratically, seemingly talking to themselves (sans bluetooth), making aggressive gestures, those I will watch.

I am aware of my surroundings everywhere, I keep a hand on my bag, I am not fearful. That doesn't mean I walk through the hood at midnight alone.



ShibsStories -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:48:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: farglebargle

The location: A place where you have every lawful right to be. You are going about your lawful business.

Let's say you're walking home from the candy store at about 7:30 pm.


When in doubt, turn around, look them up and down and ask- hey, don't I know your mother?

I would take your question a step farther though- once you are "concerned" what do you do?

Asking "why are you following me" doesn't seem like a bad idea.



tj444 -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 2:58:56 PM)

it depends on my instincts about the situation..

I walk very, very fast.. I cant do a slow walk at all so anyone following me would have to almost run to keep up with my stubby but very efficient legs...

When i was young i used to be a lettercarrier and one time i felt like i was being followed, that was in broad daylight, full sunshine.. i did the U turn maneover and the guy did the same.. which freaked me out.. i had that fight or flight thing going on in the pit of my stomach.. i didnt run but i was prepared to fight if i had to.. turned out he was a bit lost and asking for directions.. (whew!)

ummmm.. but that was when i was younger and braver and it was Canada, not the big bad USA... I have been in some not so good areas in SoCal but never really felt afraid but then i have never been followed here either.. I am aware of my surroundings and who is around me, what they are doing, etc.. If it was at night and rainy and the situation Martin was in.. I would have run as fast as I could have (and called the cops as soon as i got inside the house).. just as Martins girlfriend who was on the phone to him at the time told him to do.. he might be alive today if he had decided to run instead of letting the nutbar get close to him..



LadyHibiscus -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:01:53 PM)

Honestly, I have been more on edge when pursued by another driver, while I was in my car.

(yes, that really happened. SERIOUS FREAKOUT)



jlf1961 -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:02:16 PM)

I live in the country, the only people I have to worry about following me at night are coyotes and other nocturnal animals. If I see a person, I am instantly suspicious since I have no close neighbors



DaddySatyr -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:12:13 PM)

For me, it would depend upon the familiarity of my surroundings, to an extent.

If I'm walking down a street I don't know and someone is walking just a bit faster, behind me (they're slowly coming closer), probably about ten feet; give-or-take.

If it's a place/neighborhood with which I'm familiar, I would probably just duck into an alley way or a store or some crevice and see if the dolt walked on or, I would prepare for a possible confrontation.

If I was in a place where I was looking to score some stereos or other valuables from homes, I'd run through peoples' backyards and garages, trying to get away from the person following me.



Peace and comfort,



Michael



TheHeretic -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:14:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: farglebargle

The location: A place where you have every lawful right to be. You are going about your lawful business.

Let's say you're walking home from the candy store at about 7:30 pm.



Some of the places I've been in, while going about lawful business, get pretty sketchy, Fargle.

Seriously, between me and the nearest liquor store (we don't really have candy stores, as a fixture on the landscape here) there is a nice neighborhood park, a big patch of open desert where teenagers get drunk/high, some quiet residential streets, and some crappy apartments. At 7:30, I would certainly expect to encounter other people. How much attention I pay is going to vary along the stroll.



tj444 -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:16:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Honestly, I have been more on edge when pursued by another driver, while I was in my car.

(yes, that really happened. SERIOUS FREAKOUT)

yeah.. i agree.. some people get stupid when they get into their vehicle..

When I was 18 my boyfriend and i were driving along and some redneck was following us behind our car.. my boyfriend went down a back alley and this guy drove around and came up in front of us in the back alley, blocking us... The redneck got out and came up to our car, my boyfriend rolled down his window and the redneck grabbed him thru the window.. Now that was a freak out! my boyfriend immediately put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas.. he dragged the redneck a ways cuz the guy grabbed onto the door and wouldnt let go.. finally he did, my boyfriend turned the wheel and drove across a vacant lot and we got the heck outta there.. We had no idea why this redneck did that.. I suspect it was cuz my boyfriend had long hair and might have looked hippie-ish.. but who knows why.. It bothered me for a while cuz it happened not too far from where i was living.. I didnt want my boyfriend or I to run into him again..



LadyHibiscus -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:24:51 PM)

We got chased pretty far, and managed to get away without confrontation... the time I was alone it was on the interstate during the DAY. Got away then as well, Hib behind the wheel is a force of nature.




poise -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 3:37:51 PM)

I was pretty cocky and invincible when I was a teenager. I remember walking home
late at night from babysitting in a not so reputable neighborhood. There was no one
out at all except for me and some random fella walking on the other side of the street.
I purposely crossed the street to walk directly past him, thinking by doing so,
I was showing him that I was aware of his presence and wasn't intimidated.

As I've matured, I realize I do come with an expiration date, and I'm a little less cocky.
I still think though, that if someone were following me, I'd take the power of surprise away
from him by letting him know I was aware of his presence and prepared to defend myself,
while looking for a way to a safer place. I would probably break down crying once I reached it.



LaTigresse -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 5:00:26 PM)

Where I live, no humans follow at night. I have yet to meet a non human, living creature I am afraid of, as far as my own personal safety. Not even the pack of coyotes than live around here.

Any place else I may find myself after dark, I behave in a manner that makes sense for the area.

I make it a general rule to avoid stupidity. Highest on the list, is my own. After all, I have a minimum of 55 years, one month, four days, left, I've got to be around.



kdsub -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 5:05:27 PM)

I stop…turn around…move my arms from my side with the palms of my hands showing then ask if they would like some candy…sir.

Butch



farglebargle -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 5:27:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

As I've matured, I realize I do come with an expiration date, and I'm a little less cocky.




Widespread Panic performing Vic Chesnutt's "Expiration Day"



hlen5 -> RE: How close do you let strangers get... (3/25/2012 5:27:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

................As I've matured, I realize I do come with an expiration date, and I'm a little less cocky.
I still think though, that if someone were following me, I'd take the power of surprise away
from him by letting him know I was aware of his presence and prepared to defend myself,
while looking for a way to a safer place. I would probably break down crying once I reached it.


That's what's recommended by Gavin DeBecker, in the book "The Gift of Fear". I CAN NOT recommend that book highly enough if one is interested in their personal safety.



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