Names and your prejudices

Names and your prejudices (Full Version)

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GrandPoobah -> Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 2:33:23 AM)
I'm just curious. Maybe nosy, but it comes to the same thing. When you're looking for a new friend...assuming you are or have or might be in the future, and you see a name that reminds you of something in your past...does it affect what you do next. If your ex was a "Susan" (no offense to any Susans who might be hereabouts) and you see someone who's profile looks interesting, do you say to yourself "Nope. Not another Susan." If not, do you even notice names...assuming the profile has a "real name" included.

Kaliko -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 5:59:26 AM)
No. I don't attribute much of anything to names. There are some names I like more than others, of course, but I don't hold anyone responsible for my thoughts about another person with the same name. That seems like an odd thing to do, no?

MrBukani -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 6:01:46 AM)
jennifer[:@][:D] I dont say I wouldnt date or befriend someone with the name perse. But sometimes names just get stuck in your head over time with too many negative thoughts attached to it. So its kinda unfair to just tell myself it doesnt. Im always open to change and healing of course.

myotherself -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 6:07:01 AM)
I almost married a guy called Dave. Since we split, I have dated two guys called Dave and am currently in a committed, loving relationship with another Dave. So no, I'm not prejudiced against names, just character and morals (or lack thereof) [:D]

midmichiganguy -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 6:22:29 AM)
When it comes to names, definitely. I will never have a friend by the name of Justin or Kevin for instance. Every Justin I have ever known has been extremely manipulative and backstabbing and caused harm to my other friends or to me. I have also known quite a few Kevins on the other hand who were extremly unreliable and wishy washy and so I would never be friends with them either. Granted I realize this rationale is silly for both names and that I should not make generalizations because unerringly so they are not normally true. However in the case of names despite the logic that says otherwise I cannot bring myself to trust people with those two names.

GreedyTop -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:13:48 AM)
I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while. By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about. If that makes sense.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:20:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while. By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about. If that makes sense. That hurts. Cindy

AttitudyJudy -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:37:20 AM)
Guys named Jim.....and people born under the sign of Cancer.....have just not been good to and for me in my lifetime, for what that's worth.

Musicmystery -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:39:11 AM)
quote: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about. If that makes sense. It does to me! [;)]

LizDeluxe -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:39:26 AM)
Not a prejudice necessarily but a close friend of mine went from being involved with a girl named Betty to being involved with a girl named Debbie in fairly short order. From a pure syllabic perspective he said that caused him no small amount of grief. He had to pause for a moment every time he said "Debbie" to make sure he got it right. Supposedly women do not appreciate being called another woman's name particularly in the heat of passion. Who knew? After that he was more careful about the names of women he became close to. Personally, I wouldn't eliminate someone based solely on their name because of some prior bad connotation. I might eliminate someone solely based on their name (sorry Mortimer Snerd), but that's a different story. I would wager that there are a few submissive types who have crossed my path who are in no hurry to again submit to anyone named Elizabeth but that is again a different story. [;)]

GreedyTop -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 8:48:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while. By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about. If that makes sense. That hurts. Cindy you're an exception.

littlewonder -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 9:15:39 AM)
Yes. When I see someone with the name of my deceased husband it reminds me of him so when I was single I avoided men with that name. I didn't want to date a man only to be reminded of or accidentally comparing him to my husband which just wasn't fair to that person. While I wouldn't have not gotten to know a person with my ex Dom's name, I probably would have cringed a bit and really paid a lot more attention to that person to just be on the safe side. I like Master's name though. [:)] I never dated anyone with his name and those men in my family with that name are all good guys just like him.

mynxkat -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 9:47:37 AM)
I'd never really considered it before, but yes, actually, to my own surprise now that I think about it a person's name CAN actually affect how I percieve them. My ex husband took up with some little white trash tramp not long before we split up, and I do tend to think of her whenever I come across anyone with the same or a similar name. I haven't yet met anyone with the same name as my ex husband, though I suspect I'll do the same thing there.

DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 11:37:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about. Well, that's nice to know! Bob [sm=waves.gif]

DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 11:40:58 AM)
Real names don't bother me, but when I see profile names like 's*-eatingDog-f*ingCunt' I tend to turn off to them. [sm=sad.gif]

DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 11:42:09 AM)
E-gad! I'm quoting myself! [sm=bowdown.gif]

tj444 -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 11:56:22 AM)
not really.. I do avoid profile names like looking2fucku2nite or anything (including profile pics) that shows that the guy is a man slut.. I have prejudices against guys with certain astrological signs tho.. or if a guy's emails have a common line of bs.. that really makes me cringe.. I put a black star next to his name.. I have prejudices against anyone (for a relationship) not in certain states.. right now i am primarily looking at TX & FL.. researching cities there.. ok,... anyone with the name "Tom", thats my brothers name and he is a lawyer and a major a-hole, had a big run in with him lately.. dont think i can deal with someone that has that name right now.. I need to mellow a bit first.. (insert meditative yoga pose).. I do have prejudices against guys with certain careers.. definately will not date cops or firemen, not too keen on doctors, lawyers generally make me cringe..

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 12:35:16 PM)
Nope. I could even be okay with someone called Hugh.

GrandPoobah -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 4:37:45 PM)
I'm sure others will continue to comment, and that's a good thing, but thanks. I've never been much of one to "worry" about zodiac signs, although I do harbor some vague notions about one sign in particular. Names, on the other hand, somehow seem to trigger some responses, even though I know it's not fair. I was just curious how others saw that. Thanks for sharing everyone.

Winterapple -> RE: Names and your prejudices (3/18/2012 4:57:18 PM)
FR I had a awkward experience with a man who has the same first name of my late grandfather. I was very close to my grandfather and there is no male name I have more positive associations with but it felt very strange. The thought of a lover having that name or calling a lover by that name was alarming to me for what I realize is a irrational reason. I didn't pursue the relationship for other reasons. But when I think of him I think good guy, good guy with a good name that weirded me out. It wouldn't bother me to date someone with the name of a ex. It would be painful and maybe impossible to become involved with someone who has the same name as someone I lost. It's emotional for me to hear the name or even read it still. The names I have the most negative feelings around are the names of my former stepmother and my paternal grandmother. Whenever I encounter someone who share their names I have to tell myself "That's not her, that's not her."

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