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RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/17/2011 10:34:01 PM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele
Think of the song "If you like Pina Coladas" by Jimmy Buffet:

The Pina colada Song was Rupert Holmes.
Jimmy Buffett would never have done such a horrible thing.

speaking about Pina Coladas (and the events in that song)...

I have had one or two Doms email me when their profiles were hidden... now maybe this perspective is only my female experience showing thru but.. who the heck is he hiding from? his little wifey? his girlfriend who he wants to dump but not until he has a better replacement?

I wonder if the Doms/guys would think the sub has a hubby or boyfriend she is hiding from also? just a thought..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 21

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 1:38:34 AM

Casteele

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

Hillwilliam: Oh bloody cat farts! I need to stick to good quality vodka, I've made many silly mistakes tonight! You are quite correct about Rupert Holmes. I'd correct my post, but the edit button is not active. Is there some kind of time limit on how long you can still edit a post?

tj: Good questions on both sides. Although a sub, especially a female one, has a stronger reason to want to hide from the general masses to protect their own sanity around here. For myself, I probably would not think twice about it or even consciously consider it without something bringing it to my immediate attention. Of course, I'm not sure how I'd think and feel if I were in the situation as some around here and had to deal with more of the idiots than I already do.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 22

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 2:38:09 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

Oh bloody cat farts!

and

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Casteele)

Post #: 23

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 5:35:25 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I have had one or two Doms email me when their profiles were hidden... now maybe this perspective is only my female experience showing thru but.. who the heck is he hiding from? his little wifey? his girlfriend who he wants to dump but not until he has a better replacement?

I wonder if the Doms/guys would think the sub has a hubby or boyfriend she is hiding from also? just a thought..

I've found that men with hidden, blank, or 100% kink profiles are a waste of my time and if I were still looking would disqualify them.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 24

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 5:36:29 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I'd correct my post, but the edit button is not active. Is there some kind of time limit on how long you can still edit a post?

I think it's an hour.

(in reply to Casteele)

Post #: 25

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 5:50:05 AM

MistrixMsE

Posts: 198
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline

I rarely contact subs first... I like a submissive to take the initiative and introduce themselves to me, if after reading my profile, something sparks their interest. I am not much of a profile browser... unless someone has messaged me or visited my profile.

If I wanted to hunt & chase, I'd set up the tree stand & feed my household with the results lol

_____________________________

Sadist with a sense of humor... your predicament amuses me.

(in reply to FlashinaPan)

Post #: 26

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 6:03:32 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
......his girlfriend who he wants to dump but not until he has a better replacement?

You would not sell your house and live on the street while you looked for a new one. You would not sell your car and walk to work while you looked for a new one. So.........??????

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 27

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 6:38:49 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
......his girlfriend who he wants to dump but not until he has a better replacement?

You would not sell your house and live on the street while you looked for a new one. You would not sell your car and walk to work while you looked for a new one. So.........??????

oh you are funny! Dont tell my you are are actually serious???

Its sleazy to do that to another person, perhaps someone you even once professed your love for.. and you are using them as a booty call but letting them think they are in a relationship.. Are you advocating that married but unhappy guys should go out on their wives on the sly also??? Its called cheating.. I dont want to date any piece of shit that does that.. If a guy (or woman) is unhappy and wants out then do it honestly.. end it first. You owe that to the person you are dating now as well as to the person you might want to date in the future.. not to mention to avoid the drama that ensues once the soon to be ex-girl friend/wife finds out..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 28

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 7:30:22 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
......his girlfriend who he wants to dump but not until he has a better replacement?

You would not sell your house and live on the street while you looked for a new one. You would not sell your car and walk to work while you looked for a new one. So.........??????

Not the same things. You can compare them but they aren't even remotely the same- you're talking about objects on one hand, and human beings on the other. You can't help a bit of looking forward internally, but to act on it is sleaze city. The person you were with deserves better even if you're done with them- it's called being a decent person.

If they don't deserve your decentness then do it for yourself. I always want to be happy with myself and how I handle things, apart from how others may have treated me. For me taking the high road is almost always going to be preferable because I need to like who I am and how I do things. Honestly, I can't really believe that you compared people with cars and houses...what's up with that?

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 29

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 11:24:12 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
oh you are funny! Dont tell my you are are actually serious???

Nope. I just brought it up for comments.

Back long (LONG) ago, when I was a teen, I both did this and had it done to me. It sucked both ways. I learned that if you start out cheating, then you cannot expect trust in your new relationship. That's why we get to be teens, so we can mess up.

Ed

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 30

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 11:26:35 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

Besides, neither your house nor car are going to buy a shotgun and come looking for you!!

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 12/18/2011 11:30:05 AM >

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 31

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 11:34:27 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
oh you are funny! Dont tell my you are are actually serious???

Nope. I just brought it up for comments.

Back long (LONG) ago, when I was a teen, I both did this and had it done to me. It sucked both ways. I learned that if you start out cheating, then you cannot expect trust in your new relationship. That's why we get to be teens, so we can mess up.
Ed

You knew what kinda comments you would get, right?

(sigh)... I wish more people would realize that.. imo, the internet has made cheating and lying so much easier and so more prolific... thats why i am very cautious when a new guy emails me.. and even nice guys lie..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 32

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 11:41:30 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
You knew what kinda comments you would get, right?

(sigh)... I wish more people would realize that.. imo, the internet has made cheating and lying so much easier and so more prolific... thats why i am very cautious when a new guy emails me.. and even nice guys lie..

Yes, I suspect that you are right.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 33

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 4:42:41 PM

Casteele

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistrixMsE
If I wanted to hunt & chase, I'd set up the tree stand & feed my household with the results lol

Please don't. I don't want to have to listen to you bitch in the next 100 threads about how horrible wanker tastes and how you cannot get the taste out of your mouth.

Back on topic.. Waiting for them to PM you is a luxury you can afford. Women are in high demand. Men are not. Most non-spam/non-bs PM's I get here are from people whom I contacted first, or are responding to something I posted in the forums. And even then, there's only one, maybe two, so far that I think have ongoing friendship (only) potential. I do not want to think about how much more difficult it would be if I were looking for something more then friends.

(in reply to MistrixMsE)

Post #: 34

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 5:04:58 PM

Casteele

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
(sigh)... I wish more people would realize that.. imo, the internet has made cheating and lying so much easier and so more prolific... thats why i am very cautious when a new guy emails me.. and even nice guys lie..

To be fair, so do women: According to more recent studies, women cheat nearly as much as men these days. ( http://abcnews.go.com/Health/women-cheating-men-study/story?id=13885519 )

I was surprised by this though:
"Women who reported not being happy in a relationship and feeling that their partner didn't hold similar sexual beliefs were more likely to be unfaithful. For men, one of the biggest factors that led to cheating was sexual excitability."

Yet, it makes a bit of sense. The most common thing I hear from women when they speculate on why guys cheat is that the guy must not have been happy in the relationship, followed second by having different sexual desires/beliefs. Just like the quote above said, except that women are the ones who do it for those reasons. Guess it's like how guys just assume girls want to see his bare dancing winkiewoo and happily send off photos in the first contact message. Likewise, I hear many guys just assume that women cheat because they are seeking sexual excitement that they cannot get at home.

ETA: Oh, just found another article, written by a woman, that claims women lie more than men: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html (although I do not know how credible this article is as opposed to if it were on ABC or something).

< Message edited by Casteele -- 12/18/2011 5:12:46 PM >

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 35

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 6:39:51 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
Ok why did you view the profile before reading the email? What specifics were you looking for and what items in the profile did you focus on?

When I get an e-mail in my Inbox, I read the whole profile before I read the cmail. I like to have an idea of who's writing to me before I read the cmail and answer it. It's just how I am.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 36

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 6:52:50 PM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
(sigh)... I wish more people would realize that.. imo, the internet has made cheating and lying so much easier and so more prolific... thats why i am very cautious when a new guy emails me.. and even nice guys lie..

To be fair, so do women: According to more recent studies, women cheat nearly as much as men these days. ( http://abcnews.go.com/Health/women-cheating-men-study/story?id=13885519 )

I was surprised by this though:
"Women who reported not being happy in a relationship and feeling that their partner didn't hold similar sexual beliefs were more likely to be unfaithful. For men, one of the biggest factors that led to cheating was sexual excitability."

Yet, it makes a bit of sense. The most common thing I hear from women when they speculate on why guys cheat is that the guy must not have been happy in the relationship, followed second by having different sexual desires/beliefs. Just like the quote above said, except that women are the ones who do it for those reasons. Guess it's like how guys just assume girls want to see his bare dancing winkiewoo and happily send off photos in the first contact message. Likewise, I hear many guys just assume that women cheat because they are seeking sexual excitement that they cannot get at home.

ETA: Oh, just found another article, written by a woman, that claims women lie more than men: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html (although I do not know how credible this article is as opposed to if it were on ABC or something).

My post was based on my perspective of questioning why a guy would hide his profile.. I did say in a previous post it could be guys might view a female hiding her profile in the same way.. i dont know.. It wasnt really my intention to get off track and discuss why men or women cheat.. that is a topic all its own..

I do find that guys lie online in order to impress a girl in the hopes that he will stand above the vast competition, in her eyes.. in particular, lies that he doesnt think can be verified as false.. I have discovered lies and it makes me wonder what else isnt true.. It all makes me very cautious about guys from online...

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Casteele)

Post #: 37

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 9:14:07 PM

soul2share

Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline

My profile isn't hidden...just re-written one night after a particularly useless conversation with a guy that unfortunately had happened before. I hate my pictures...honestly, they are terrible....but after his insisting "I'm not shallow, I just want to see who I'm talking with!", I caved and sent the best of the worst pics I have. Not only did he not have the balls to say "thanks but no thanks" or even "EEEEWWWWWWWW!", he also blocked me from YIM. Not that I wasn't really surprised, but dayum...it still smarted. And it's happened before, which is also why I'm reluctant to send a terrible pic.

So, I simply re-wrote my profile to a short, sweet and (possibly) snotty little blurb. And here's the rub......I say I'm not sending pics, yet I'm still getting, "send it to me, I'm not shallow! or "It can't be that bad, I won't judge it!". Holy crap....I thought I wrote it in English, but maybe something got lost in the translation!

As for the well thought out profile...I had one up....for all the good it did. Again, I thought I wrote it in English, but apparently not.....one line e-mails drive me apeshit.....if it comes from someone I've had contact with, that's one thing, but to begin something with one....puh-leeeeeze! They can sit there forever. So actually having specific things listed in your profile doesn't mean much.....if no one reads it, then where's the good?

OK, I'm done.....sorry for the rant.

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 38

RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles - 12/18/2011 9:38:27 PM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share
one line e-mails drive me apeshit

At the risk of causing a temporary shortage in overripe tomatoes, I am gonna say something counter intuitive.

One line emails are a GOOD thing. They tell you who to block and hide while using a minimal amount of your time. When someone writes a long, heartfelt but illiterate letter, it can take much longer to get to the same result and is kinda sad in a way.

Ed

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to soul2share)

Post #: 39

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