Submissives and Hidden Profiles (Full Version)

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FlashinaPan -> Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 10:52:44 AM)

Do you think there are more submissive profiles that are hidden than not? I don't even have a picture up and I'm flooded with oneliners & poorly written messages all the time, so I've hidden mine, and feel if a dom looks interesting, I'll contact him myself. But now I'm wondering if that isn't exactly "sub-like" behavior - would dominants be ok with a submissive intiating the contact?



GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 10:55:33 AM)

do what is right for YOU. hide it if you want to. cntact doms if you feel inspired to. BE YOURSELF. there is NO "one twue way", regardless of what you might hear.



tj444 -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:01:08 AM)

if your profile is hidden then when you contact the various interesting Doms, they wont be able to read your profile, all they will get is your (oneline? poorly written?) email.. [8|]



RexDarcy -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:07:37 AM)

There's nothing wrong in initiating a Dom/me. If your profile is hidden, make sure to include some information about yourself. Things like age, vanilla interests, and what you are looking for are good topics to include in that first contact.



Fetters4U -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:24:53 AM)

Joining a social site and hiding your profile seems counter-intuitive.

The wave of ill-conceived, ill-written, ill-spelled, offensive and boring c-mail is part of every subs initiation here. Just regard it as as a good training exercise like corner time. I personally don't recommend it, but you can set hard limits based on age, sex and location (if you have any) to sweep stuff into Bulk Mail. Go through the rest one at a time and block where appropriate.

For politeness sake, you really should put your bulk mail limits in your profile. That will stop NICE people wasting their time writing letters you will never see. e.g

Mail from overseas, people under 30 and over 45 will be sent directly to Bulk Mail. I will not answer one-liners or mail I deem offensive; the writers will be blocked.[sm=hardlimit.gif]



Ed


       



GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:26:07 AM)

Ed.. the fact is that those kinds of announcements are routinely IGNORED.



Fetters4U -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:39:29 AM)

By the trolls, yes. They read even worse than they write, if that is possible.

But I have written nice, time consuming letters to introduce myself, only to have them languish in Bulk Mail for months. If the lady in question had mentioned somewhere that she was only interested in men 10 years younger than herself, it would have saved me a lot of annoyance. Just because you get so many trolls here, does not mean that you should treat everyone like a troll..

I don't have limits on my profile because I actually read my Bulk Mail from time to time, when the boards are slow..

Ed



searching4mysir -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:39:58 AM)

Yep...ROUTINELY.

I had a male sub contact me spouting over and over how he wanted to be cucked by me with black men. My profile specifically says I'm collared, owned, and no longer searching, but he just wanted to push that fetish on me.



GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:45:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

By the trolls, yes. They read even worse than they write, if that is possible.

But I have written nice, time consuming letters to introduce myself, only to have them languish in Bulk Mail for months. If the lady in question had mentioned somewhere that she was only interested in men 10 years younger than herself, it would have saved me a lot of annoyance. Just because you get so many trolls here, does not mean that you should treat everyone like a troll..

I don't have limits on my profile because I actually read my Bulk Mail from time to time, when the boards are slow..

Ed




dude.. really.. when the ratio of trolls to (allegedly) decent men tips the other way, then get back to me.

and YOU may read your bulk shit, but most don't. Unless I see something in my bulk that somehow got routed there, FROM SOMEONE I HAVE INTERACTED WITH on the forums *waves at Semisweet*, then it gets deleted post haste.

you are NOT a woman. You have NO CLUE. so... STFU.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 11:49:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FlashinaPan

Do you think there are more submissive profiles that are hidden than not? I don't even have a picture up and I'm flooded with oneliners & poorly written messages all the time, so I've hidden mine, and feel if a dom looks interesting, I'll contact him myself. But now I'm wondering if that isn't exactly "sub-like" behavior - would dominants be ok with a submissive intiating the contact?



I prefer for ladies to initiate contact but I would add that these other folks are correct; If you don't send a really good e-mail (or if you're not open to using the chat feature), the person you contact has no way of getting an idea of who you are (their time is valuable, also) and may view your e-mail as "spam".

I know it is tough for you ladies. I get that but a well-written profile is very important to some of us (me, when I was searching). I tended to see there was an e-mail and go to the profile before reading the e-mail.

I hope you find a way to enjoy your stay, here and that you find what you are looking for.



Peace and comfort,



Michael



kalikshama -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 12:38:31 PM)

You could hide your profile until you are no longer featured as a new user, which is probably a month or so. Doms complaining about s's making the first move is never a topic of discussion around here :)

Or unhide it, tweak your bulk filters, and learn how to preview, delete, block, report as spam efficiently.



lizi -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 3:37:16 PM)

I've contacted people back when I was looking, it was always taken in a positive light. I've always advocated taking charge of your own life and making it into what you want. Being oriented as a submissive does not mean you let things pass you by or make no decisions at all....did you decide what to eat for breakfast today? Then why not decide what is attractive to you in a partner and go out to see if you can find it? 

If anyone ever had an issue with having me make first contact then that would be useful too as it would tell me that we didn't have much in common. As far as I can see, it's win win.



tj444 -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 4:17:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I know it is tough for you ladies. I get that but a well-written profile is very important to some of us (me, when I was searching). I tended to see there was an e-mail and go to the profile before reading the e-mail.

Ok why did you view the profile before reading the email? What specifics were you looking for and what items in the profile did you focus on?



Kaliko -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 4:22:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I know it is tough for you ladies. I get that but a well-written profile is very important to some of us (me, when I was searching). I tended to see there was an e-mail and go to the profile before reading the e-mail.

Ok why did you view the profile before reading the email? What specifics were you looking for and what items in the profile did you focus on?



I often go to the profile before the email as well. I like to see who's writing before I read what they have to say. (Or before I choose not to read it.)



Casteele -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 7:01:56 PM)

Ditto here. I'll read their profile and hover over the PM to see the first bits of the message to see if it's worth reading, or just seems to be another spammer/scammer. Likewise, it would not offend me if someone initiated first contact; Why should it? There are so many people out there that I cannot possibly check them all out first, so if you are waiting around hoping you'll just get my attention by pure chance.. I hope you have a backup plan, it could be awhile. Of course, on the other hand, some people are shy and timid, or do not know how to "break the ice," so I realize it's not always cut-and-dry there, either.

ETA for tj's post: Speaking for myself, I read their profiles to get a feel for the person overall. I do not look for anything specific, as most profiles are hardly a complete picture/story of who and what the person is, just a brief summary. Think of the song "If you like Pina Coladas" by Jimmy Buffet: You could very well already be close to someone and still not know you have a common interest that just never seemed to come up during discussion.

What I do look for, though.. overall consistency. Personal ads are just that, advertisements. And many advertising people will tell you the way to advertise something is to have something people are interested in to get their attention. People write many profiles exactly like that; They put down things they think someone else wants to hear/read, hoping they'll take time and interest to find out more about the the advertiser. Common things that I see that put me off include contradictions that make no sense (meaning, as human beings, I realize we exist with many contradictions in our own personalities), inaccuracies which also don't make sense (a newbie interested in bondage may have some misconceptions about it and therefore write something inaccurate, yet.. Being from New York, NV and driving a Betty Crocker brand pickup truck are pretty good indications that some sp/cammer used a profile generator to create the profile), and so on.



TheFireWithinMe -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 7:17:51 PM)

FR

I don't read the profile first but I DO hover over them and delete as necessary.



RexDarcy -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 7:53:16 PM)

I don't view the profile first, but I do look over it before writing back to somebody. It gives Me a chance to see more of their interests and possibly more to write backabout.



Fetters4U -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 10:23:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
you are NOT a woman. You have NO CLUE. so... STFU.


Yes, you are right. I am not a woman. but you are NOT a man, so you also have NO CLUE.

Did it ever occur to you that gay male troll subs cannot read either? Even though I am clearly a straight male Dom,  I got hammered with gay-sub c-mail. I will admit it was nothing like the 5-20 pages a day my lady friends talk about, but it was still enough to be annoying.

Why don't we agree that you have 2/3 of a clue and I have 1/3 of a clue. So if we Stick Together we're F* Unbeatable (STFU) as you say. [;)]

Ed 



GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 10:24:55 PM)

LOL works for me ;)



Hillwilliam -> RE: Submissives and Hidden Profiles (12/17/2011 10:26:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele

Think of the song "If you like Pina Coladas" by Jimmy Buffet:


The Pina colada Song was Rupert Holmes.

Jimmy Buffett would never have done such a horrible thing.



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