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The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 12:35:57 AM

NakedSenses

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"I don't bother chasing mice around..."
I do not 'perv the profiles' online, here or anywhere else. I describe myself candidly and my state interests genuinely. I post a small number of relevant photos, from G- to XXX-rated. I keep my text and video journals current. And then I wait for a woman who finds what she sees in my profile very attractive or interesting to her. If she has the self-confidence to contact me first, I am impressed. If she does not, then we will never meet. I guess it was not meant to be, and such is just the way of life. Move forward, because time is going that way whether you like it or not, and it is taking you with it. And recently I have been meeting some of the best of CM women, and the rest ignore me. Probably because it would not work for us, and they can tell that, and they don't waste their time on me.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 12:40:13 AM

GreedyTop

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and this is a 'positive experience'...how?

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 5:13:32 AM

ashjor911

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join GT on that...... yeah how?

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 8:10:01 AM

NakedSenses

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I'll take that under advisement.
Thank you, both.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 3:37:49 PM

BurntKitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

and this is a 'positive experience'...how?

Perhaps it is positive for the women who don't initiate first contact.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 3:48:40 PM

LillyBoPeep

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There was a great thread a little bit ago about "who approaches who first."
This should be an addendum to that. =p But it's not really a positive experience.

ANYWAY, welcome to collarme!

(was going to try to link it to you, but the search feature here is bloody terrible, and everything I put in is coming back "zilch!" ugh.......)

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 4:15:30 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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Ok, so I'm late to the party since this is now under "Off Topic" and not positive experiences, lol. Anyway...

What you are saying is you want them to come to you. Ok, your thing, have at it.

But think about these things:

Some women are going to think YOU don't have the self confidence to contact THEM. Never much good for a dominant to be viewed as having self esteem issues.

Some women are old fashioned in the sense they think the man should contact them first. For dominant women, part of it is that the male sub should be looking for them, and with sub women they feel it is not a very submissive act to contact the guy first. Yep, total contradiction, but hey, we're women, we are a plethora of contradictions.

Finally, "perving" profiles means nothing more than looking at ones profile in general. Yea, it can be a bit weird for someone to constantly peruse your profile and never contact you, but then many of us don't really even look at that section. I know I rarely do.

You might think about your sig line. While it may be from the Last of the Mohicans, it also does a pretty good job of desribing the relationships between men and women as a general rule. Each has trouble really understanding the motives of the other, aka Mars vs. Venus.

Personally, I think by waiting for women to contact you with you never looking and seeing if you have any interest in a profile, you potentially miss out on some great women. Then again, since you state you are not looking for a relationship, you will only have women contact you who are interested in someone to play with, which suits your needs.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 4:26:43 PM

Ambyant

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I liked the name of your post enough to see what it was all about.
Personally, I feel I am looking for pretty specialized persons - in another much more vanilla site; I have -never- looked at another's profile there without first being contacted by them.
Just wouldn't make any sense since I'm the kinky one and they have to be at least firstly; interested in kink and secondly; be brave enough to contact Me.
Methinks such a attitude won't work anywhere's as well here on CM! Get out there, I say - be brave, witty and just a bit more humble if you are seeking someone to be yours here!
Always the Wikked One

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 7:40:01 PM

DesFIP

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The problem with never contacting women is that if the women also believe in never contacting men, then you get a stalemate.
But kudos to you for describing yourself accurately and completely.

Personally I find XXX rated photos a turn off and wouldn't contact any guy who had them. I figure if you're male then you have all the necessary parts, I really don't need to see them prior to knowing if I ever want to see them. And that of course doesn't happen until after I've met him and discovered we have a lot of compatibility.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 10:24:28 PM

heartcream

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From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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Someone needs a haircut.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/17/2011 11:29:53 PM

NakedSenses

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Thank you all for your input and responses, and I do mean that sincerely - whether we agree or not. :-)

I will not identify my friends as a matter of principle (discretion), but I can say that they are all exceptional women (to me), and I "blow off" (gently) 4 out of 5 new messages from females. I guess I'm picky like that. And at my age, I can afford to be. I was not aware of the strict category rules here on CollarChat, but I did learn something about them. And there are some very nice people on here! :-)

As for the explicit genital photo, the atypical shape of my erection (I was born this way, so don't look if you don't want to see.) invariably elicits a "Nice!" from women who are penis admirers and who DO NOT believe that penises are all made, or perform, the same. As those women now number over 150 in the past 35 years, I'll let the matter stand as it is - there will never be an agreement on this topic. Further, I have to go with what works. A woman I met on here, now quite special to me (and I to her), saw that photo and erupted, "I gotta have that thing!" ;-)

And as for the quotation, it is NOT at all about gender. It refers to civilizations, societies, cultures, etc. and their beliefs - which are often strange and incomprehensible to others.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/18/2011 10:09:46 AM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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You were talking about not contacting women and feeling they needed the self confidence to contact you.

No one here said you haven't met exceptional women, or doubts that you have. Most merely pointed out that there could be some flaws in your approach that causes you to meet other exceptional women.

There are a good number of women who, rather than be impressed, would not really find you an appropriate match for them having had sex with approximately 4 women every year for the last 35.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/27/2011 8:52:21 PM

Clickofheels

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No interest here...even if I was submissive.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/27/2011 9:00:52 PM

Lockit

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Good lord... I've talked to enough crazy people tonight! This one isn't even funny!

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/27/2011 9:11:46 PM

Epytropos

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I made this thread which is very similar to yours (though with drastically different language and voice) fairly early in my forum career under Palliata and received a slightly less dismissive response. You might find the comments on it enlightening. I definitely agree with you regarding your fundamental issue, and I have gotten a decent share of people messaging me. Occasionally a profile will seem especially fascinating and I'll send someone a message, but mostly I find the dynamic it creates distasteful and so I don't do it.

To each their own, it goes without saying. I don't understand it myself, but then I'm sure there's plenty about me others don't understand so I'll call it a draw.

< Message edited by Epytropos -- 11/27/2011 9:13:59 PM >

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/27/2011 9:59:42 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The problem with never contacting women is that if the women also believe in never contacting men, then you get a stalemate.
But kudos to you for describing yourself accurately and completely.

Personally I find XXX rated photos a turn off and wouldn't contact any guy who had them. I figure if you're male then you have all the necessary parts, I really don't need to see them prior to knowing if I ever want to see them. And that of course doesn't happen until after I've met him and discovered we have a lot of compatibility.

I wholly agree with all you've said. I am sure there are ladies tickled pink (pun intended) by men displaying their nether regions in their profiles, but I am not one of them. I am a great fan of men and all their magnificient man parts, but it seems to me a bit like putting the cart before the horse. All good things in their time and place.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/28/2011 5:03:29 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Ah haa Epytropos linked to (ad was apparenntly the author of) the threas I was trying to find. :p

I think this OP got a more dismissive response because of the insinuation that the women he meets through his approach are better than those he'd meet otherwise. Different doesn't equate to better or worse.

To me, when a Fella approaches first, I understand that his interest is already there and I don't get that "inflicting myself on him" feeling. At the same time, though, I approached M, and that was a pretty spectacular relationship. Though, after my initial approach, he became the hunter and made all the moves from that point on. So my approaching him didn't confuddle our future interactions at all.

Anyway, that was a great thread. :p and I miss porcelaine, and IronBear, and leadership, and SexyBossyBBW, and Rich and dark... and, and, and... :p

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/28/2011 7:19:21 AM

lizi

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OP, I'm glad you have a strategy that seems to work for you. For me, well, I have never seen the value in sitting on my butt when I want something. Why should I wait for what life feels like dropping in my lap instead of making things happen? It's a night and day difference to me between actively participating in my own life, or passively weeding through what comes my way. I've never been a watcher, I'd rather get up and do something. I never had much use for sitting around and would've missed out on a lot of things had I done that.

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/28/2011 2:29:43 PM

Epytropos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
I think this OP got a more dismissive response because of the insinuation that the women he meets through his approach are better than those he'd meet otherwise. Different doesn't equate to better or worse.

Yeah, and his approach was a bit of "People who are different from me are BAD and also WRONG" which only goes over well if you've been here a while.

quote:

Though, after my initial approach, he became the hunter and made all the moves from that point on. So my approaching him didn't confuddle our future interactions at all.

This would tend to be my ideal, though I often miss the mark on it in online interactions for reasons I'm not altogether certain of.

quote:

Anyway, that was a great thread. :p and I miss porcelaine, and IronBear, and leadership, and SexyBossyBBW, and Rich and dark... and, and, and... :p

Yeah, that was a pleasant thread. If nothing else, it put me on the map lol. However would I have shown myself as a pretentious contrarian without it, after all?

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RE: The Stray Cat Strut: how it works for me - 11/28/2011 3:26:18 PM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
I think this OP got a more dismissive response because of the insinuation that the women he meets through his approach are better than those he'd meet otherwise. Different doesn't equate to better or worse.

Yeah, and his approach was a bit of "People who are different from me are BAD and also WRONG" which only goes over well if you've been here a while.

Haha :p Good point!

quote:

quote:

Though, after my initial approach, he became the hunter and made all the moves from that point on. So my approaching him didn't confuddle our future interactions at all.

This would tend to be my ideal, though I often miss the mark on it in online interactions for reasons I'm not altogether certain of.

I don't like it, though, I guess mostly because I'm somewhat insecure and it makes me uncomfortable. I just prefer to act, in areas like this, after I know that the guy's interest is there. Then I don't feel like I'm all up in his face when he doesn't have any intention of reciprocating. hahaha
What can I say, I tend to be a follower. :p

Admittedly, for whatever reason, things do tend to get misconstrued online, and I worry about that happening, even if I'm only writing someone in a friendly, platonic way.

quote:

quote:

Anyway, that was a great thread. :p and I miss porcelaine, and IronBear, and leadership, and SexyBossyBBW, and Rich and dark... and, and, and... :p

Yeah, that was a pleasant thread. If nothing else, it put me on the map lol. However would I have shown myself as a pretentious contrarian without it, after all?

I have a feeling you'd have found a way. ^_^ hahaha

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