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Seeking Support - 11/9/2011 11:17:15 PM   
ScottFreakshow


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/19/2011
Status: offline 		My Dom is right in the middle of his first week of quitting smoking.
Advice, suggestions, stories... Anything really.
I am trying to be understanding and supportive, I know it sucks hardcore to quit but I seem to have reached my limit.
It's like he's not even in there anymore.
Thanks in advance anyways.

~Mel

_____________________________

"Battle not with monsters,
lest ye become a monster,

and if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."

- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 2:06:23 AM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		Afraid mine probably won't be much help. Every time I wanted a cigarette I picked up my crocheting. Made blankets for each of my 8 grandchildren instead. The biggest thing was finding something to keep my hands busy and to stop from reaching. I found myself doing that so often in the early days, the ritual of lighting up and smoking was soothing, and when my hands no longer had that to do I had to replace it with another activity.

Best of luck to you both.

< Message edited by Delilya -- 11/10/2011 2:07:00 AM >

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 2:34:44 AM   
areallivehuman


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		I quit cold turkey about 12 years ago. I found toothpicks to be helpful, I carried a bunch in my shirt pocket (where the cigs used to go), and reached for one whenever the urge hit me. I think just the hand to mouth action held some satisfaction, and I would just chew the toothpick until.....
   Your Dom should know that after 3 days, the physical addiction to nicotine is broken. After that, it's all in your head. Not that it makes it any easier, but knowing in the back of my mind that I would be successful, if  I took control of my brain back......

         All the best to you both

(in reply to Delilya)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 6:41:35 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Have him call his doctor. There are meds that help you stop smoking, the patch, e-cigs. There's no reason to deliberately court making other people want to murder you.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 7:04:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It's been nearly 20 years since I quit. I dislike using meds, putting chemicals into my body if I do not need them to actually live. Especially if it is just something some personal will power can take care of.

When I quit smoking I kept a lot of bubble gum around and Werther's Originals. The bubble gum was probably the best because it was something to actively do. Plus popping the bubbles drove my co-workers nuts. Bonus!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 7:12:29 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		what is your D doing that makes it seem like "he's not in there anymore"??

my late Dude quit smoking by taking me out to a farm with him and camping for 4 days in the middle of nowhere. he gave me his car keys so he couldn't drive into town and get cigars. he actually used tootsie pops to help him (which was really cute, haha -- something about a 6'5" ginormous shaggy man with a sucker made me smile) because they were part sucker, but also something to chew on.
the first day, he was REALLY antsy -- he took everything personally, flipped out over the smallest things. i tried to be helpful by basically staying out of his way. doing what he said, and not doing too much daydreaming, paying extra attention, etc. plus, all the work of camping; clearing ground, setting up a tent, unpacking, stockpiling firewood, general wandering -- a lot of that helped him keep his mind off of it.

there was also a lot of reeeally hard sex that seemed to help get his frustrations out. =p haha

by the time we left, he had mellowed out a lot. he took the ashtray out of his car. when it was all over with, he was really happy that he'd had his girl along for support.

it does kinda suck being on the receiving end of the snipeyness or whatever other personality issue is coming out -- a lot of people who quit are really keyed up and high-strung at first, but you just have to be supportive and understand that they're trying to kick a really serious addiction.

do your ABSOLUTE BEST not to take anything personally. take stock of his attitude and behavior -- you might have to change the style of your humor for a little while until he goes back to normal.


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/10/2011 7:16:26 AM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 10:46:12 AM   
ScottFreakshow


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/19/2011
Status: offline 		So glad to hear from all of you :) I get into these rotten headspaces thinking I'm all alone. It's really quite absurd.
My Dom is currently doing the nicorette patch/gum thing. I personally wouldn't (and didn't when I quit) but it's ultimately up to him.
What I meant when I said it's like he's not even in there anymore was that I feel like I am dealing with a completely different person.
He's not the thoughtful, affectionate, talkative guy that I know. And truthfully, I was not at all prepared for this sort of thing when it started so I wigged out a little.
I have gotten some advice in RL as well and both you people and my support network have helped alot.
Thanks :)

Also, him and I talked about what each of us were going through and I found out that there was something else that had nothing to do with the cigarettes that was bothering him. He seems to be doing a little better today.

< Message edited by ScottFreakshow -- 11/10/2011 10:49:14 AM >

_____________________________

"Battle not with monsters,
lest ye become a monster,

and if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."

- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 10:56:49 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Keep doing whatever it takes to chill him out. My dad and I both quit cold turkey, I was never really addicted, so no biggie for me. He went the hard candy route.

Long term is the harder part. You have to KEEP quitting, and not go back. Putting smoke money away in a jar might be fun, too. Those things are costly!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 11:52:44 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I quit smoking right after surgery when I was on narcotic pain killers, so I probably slept through a lot of my worst cravings. I still have cravings at times when I'm stressed. Our roommate smokes, but he goes outside.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 11:52:58 AM   
hellionsLight


Posts: 241
Joined: 10/18/2011
From: Kearney, NE
Status: offline 		The money from buying cigs being put away helped my uncle quit. Everyone loves money!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 1:19:08 PM   
ScottFreakshow


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/19/2011
Status: offline 		He has already informed me that the money he saves will be going towards toys for us to play with *grin*

_____________________________

"Battle not with monsters,
lest ye become a monster,

and if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."

- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

(in reply to hellionsLight)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 1:33:51 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		First, a great big congrats to your dom. I am a nicotine addict, currently in remission and hoping to stay that way.

What helped me? A few things: For the bad nicotine urges, get some nicotine gum. That way you are not battling both a physical and emotional addiction at the same time.

Second: Face that you are addicted to nicotine, and you may NEVER reach a time when you don't on some level at some points in your life want a cig. Acknowledge you do want to smoke (I still do), but that you choose not to. It really is your choice.

Third: Acknowledge that a nicotine addiction is the worse physical and emotional addiction a person can possess. So do whatever it takes to break the monkey on your back. Try hard candies, suckers, toothpicks, a lil ball you squeeze, whatever you have to do to get through the first 2-3 weeks. Then slowly ease off those things. If you even think of slipping, go back.

Four: Use some basic behavior therapy in terms of visualizing the money you will save by not smoking. Train your brain to see that pile of money every time your mind tells you that it's time to light up.

Best of luck.

If I can do this, so can your dom.






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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 5:12:11 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScottFreakshow

My Dom is right in the middle of his first week of quitting smoking.
Advice, suggestions, stories... Anything really.
I am trying to be understanding and supportive, I know it sucks hardcore to quit but I seem to have reached my limit.
It's like he's not even in there anymore.
Thanks in advance anyways.

~Mel


Here's how I see it...

He smokes.

I presume you don't.

It's like Heroin.

Quit bitchin or get a rubber hose.

Choke up.

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 5:50:30 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		One friend used nicotine gum which worked for him and another used Wellbutrin - an antidepressant that is also used for quitting smoking. It worked well for him. He said the meds made the cigarettes taste bad and he had no desire to smoke. Another friend used Chantix but the pronounced dreams/nightmares got him so wound up that he stopped using it and resumed smoking. 

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 6:03:55 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Isn't acupuncture supposed to be very effective for quitting smoking?
Anyone know?


_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 11:47:42 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

my late Dude quit smoking by taking me out to a farm with him and camping for 4 days in the middle of nowhere.

That was basically the plan the first time me and a buddy decided to quit, only we went to his parents' house. The place was a big beautiful double A-frame on a hill out in the country. The nearest place that sold cigs was a little mom and pop general store a couple of miles away. We gave his parents our car keys, and swore them to hold on to them until our visit of several days ended.

To make the ordeal easier, we brought a large chunk of black hash with us and a supply of Visine. It worked great. We snuck hits in our room and managed to stay obliterated virtually every waking hour of our time there. There was no nicotine withdrawl, and no problems whatsoever. On the way home, we stopped at the little general store and bought a couple of packs of cigs for the drive.



K.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Seeking Support - 11/10/2011 11:55:34 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		A candle.

Get a birthday cake candle and light it somewhere it can burn all the way down and you can watch it the whole time.

Watch it burn down.

Do not take your eyes off of it even for one second, even one millisecond. Do not look away. Start with a small candle.

What this does is empties your mind's RAM for lack of a better term. It helps with alot of things. I stopped cigts three months ago without a problem, but I am totally fucking nuts and I did it to be a prick. Normal people are different. Watch the candle. Don't let others come. If they come and you can't shoo them off, put the candle out with your fingers. When they go away, relight it. It won't work as well but it could work well enough.

Vinegar, dairy products, they go pretty well. DO NOT get sucked down into sweets, they wil damage your body more than alchohol, smoking or most drugs ever will ! No shit.

Clearing the throat ? Get used to it, I am still doing it after three months.

T^T

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Seeking Support - 11/11/2011 3:41:20 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Give him a lot of room and stay out of his way!
The moment of wanting to smoke lasted about
3 minutes it hard but that feeling leaves!!  It will come
back but it gets less and less!!!!!!

i wish you the best
mons

(in reply to ScottFreakshow)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Seeking Support - 11/11/2011 4:38:07 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
 On the way home, we stopped at the little general store and bought a couple of packs of cigs for the drive.



K.


haha, well dang -- i'm sorry your quitting experience wasn't positive. =p perhaps if you'd had some chicks along, it would've helped. =p



_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Kirata)
Profile   Post #: 19
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