Seeking Support

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ScottFreakshow -> Seeking Support (11/9/2011 11:17:15 PM)
My Dom is right in the middle of his first week of quitting smoking. Advice, suggestions, stories... Anything really. I am trying to be understanding and supportive, I know it sucks hardcore to quit but I seem to have reached my limit. It's like he's not even in there anymore. Thanks in advance anyways. ~Mel

Delilya -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 2:06:23 AM)
Afraid mine probably won't be much help. Every time I wanted a cigarette I picked up my crocheting. Made blankets for each of my 8 grandchildren instead. The biggest thing was finding something to keep my hands busy and to stop from reaching. I found myself doing that so often in the early days, the ritual of lighting up and smoking was soothing, and when my hands no longer had that to do I had to replace it with another activity. Best of luck to you both.

areallivehuman -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 2:34:44 AM)
I quit cold turkey about 12 years ago. I found toothpicks to be helpful, I carried a bunch in my shirt pocket (where the cigs used to go), and reached for one whenever the urge hit me. I think just the hand to mouth action held some satisfaction, and I would just chew the toothpick until..... Your Dom should know that after 3 days, the physical addiction to nicotine is broken. After that, it's all in your head. Not that it makes it any easier, but knowing in the back of my mind that I would be successful, if I took control of my brain back...... All the best to you both

DesFIP -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 6:41:35 AM)
Have him call his doctor. There are meds that help you stop smoking, the patch, e-cigs. There's no reason to deliberately court making other people want to murder you.

LaTigresse -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 7:04:19 AM)
It's been nearly 20 years since I quit. I dislike using meds, putting chemicals into my body if I do not need them to actually live. Especially if it is just something some personal will power can take care of. When I quit smoking I kept a lot of bubble gum around and Werther's Originals. The bubble gum was probably the best because it was something to actively do. Plus popping the bubbles drove my co-workers nuts. Bonus!

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 7:12:29 AM)
what is your D doing that makes it seem like "he's not in there anymore"?? my late Dude quit smoking by taking me out to a farm with him and camping for 4 days in the middle of nowhere. he gave me his car keys so he couldn't drive into town and get cigars. he actually used tootsie pops to help him (which was really cute, haha -- something about a 6'5" ginormous shaggy man with a sucker made me smile) because they were part sucker, but also something to chew on. the first day, he was REALLY antsy -- he took everything personally, flipped out over the smallest things. i tried to be helpful by basically staying out of his way. doing what he said, and not doing too much daydreaming, paying extra attention, etc. plus, all the work of camping; clearing ground, setting up a tent, unpacking, stockpiling firewood, general wandering -- a lot of that helped him keep his mind off of it. there was also a lot of reeeally hard sex that seemed to help get his frustrations out. =p haha by the time we left, he had mellowed out a lot. he took the ashtray out of his car. when it was all over with, he was really happy that he'd had his girl along for support. it does kinda suck being on the receiving end of the snipeyness or whatever other personality issue is coming out -- a lot of people who quit are really keyed up and high-strung at first, but you just have to be supportive and understand that they're trying to kick a really serious addiction. do your ABSOLUTE BEST not to take anything personally. take stock of his attitude and behavior -- you might have to change the style of your humor for a little while until he goes back to normal.

ScottFreakshow -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 10:46:12 AM)
So glad to hear from all of you :) I get into these rotten headspaces thinking I'm all alone. It's really quite absurd. My Dom is currently doing the nicorette patch/gum thing. I personally wouldn't (and didn't when I quit) but it's ultimately up to him. What I meant when I said it's like he's not even in there anymore was that I feel like I am dealing with a completely different person. He's not the thoughtful, affectionate, talkative guy that I know. And truthfully, I was not at all prepared for this sort of thing when it started so I wigged out a little. I have gotten some advice in RL as well and both you people and my support network have helped alot. Thanks :) Also, him and I talked about what each of us were going through and I found out that there was something else that had nothing to do with the cigarettes that was bothering him. He seems to be doing a little better today.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 10:56:49 AM)
Keep doing whatever it takes to chill him out. My dad and I both quit cold turkey, I was never really addicted, so no biggie for me. He went the hard candy route. Long term is the harder part. You have to KEEP quitting, and not go back. Putting smoke money away in a jar might be fun, too. Those things are costly!

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 11:52:44 AM)
I quit smoking right after surgery when I was on narcotic pain killers, so I probably slept through a lot of my worst cravings. I still have cravings at times when I'm stressed. Our roommate smokes, but he goes outside.

hellionsLight -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 11:52:58 AM)
The money from buying cigs being put away helped my uncle quit. Everyone loves money!

ScottFreakshow -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 1:19:08 PM)
He has already informed me that the money he saves will be going towards toys for us to play with grin

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 1:33:51 PM)
First, a great big congrats to your dom. I am a nicotine addict, currently in remission and hoping to stay that way. What helped me? A few things: For the bad nicotine urges, get some nicotine gum. That way you are not battling both a physical and emotional addiction at the same time. Second: Face that you are addicted to nicotine, and you may NEVER reach a time when you don't on some level at some points in your life want a cig. Acknowledge you do want to smoke (I still do), but that you choose not to. It really is your choice. Third: Acknowledge that a nicotine addiction is the worse physical and emotional addiction a person can possess. So do whatever it takes to break the monkey on your back. Try hard candies, suckers, toothpicks, a lil ball you squeeze, whatever you have to do to get through the first 2-3 weeks. Then slowly ease off those things. If you even think of slipping, go back. Four: Use some basic behavior therapy in terms of visualizing the money you will save by not smoking. Train your brain to see that pile of money every time your mind tells you that it's time to light up. Best of luck. If I can do this, so can your dom.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 5:12:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottFreakshow My Dom is right in the middle of his first week of quitting smoking. Advice, suggestions, stories... Anything really. I am trying to be understanding and supportive, I know it sucks hardcore to quit but I seem to have reached my limit. It's like he's not even in there anymore. Thanks in advance anyways. ~Mel Here's how I see it... He smokes. I presume you don't. It's like Heroin. Quit bitchin or get a rubber hose. Choke up.

lizi -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 5:50:30 PM)
One friend used nicotine gum which worked for him and another used Wellbutrin - an antidepressant that is also used for quitting smoking. It worked well for him. He said the meds made the cigarettes taste bad and he had no desire to smoke. Another friend used Chantix but the pronounced dreams/nightmares got him so wound up that he stopped using it and resumed smoking.

popeye1250 -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 6:03:55 PM)
Isn't acupuncture supposed to be very effective for quitting smoking? Anyone know?

Kirata -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 11:47:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep my late Dude quit smoking by taking me out to a farm with him and camping for 4 days in the middle of nowhere. That was basically the plan the first time me and a buddy decided to quit, only we went to his parents' house. The place was a big beautiful double A-frame on a hill out in the country. The nearest place that sold cigs was a little mom and pop general store a couple of miles away. We gave his parents our car keys, and swore them to hold on to them until our visit of several days ended. To make the ordeal easier, we brought a large chunk of black hash with us and a supply of Visine. It worked great. We snuck hits in our room and managed to stay obliterated virtually every waking hour of our time there. There was no nicotine withdrawl, and no problems whatsoever. On the way home, we stopped at the little general store and bought a couple of packs of cigs for the drive. [8\|] K.

Termyn8or -> RE: Seeking Support (11/10/2011 11:55:34 PM)
A candle. Get a birthday cake candle and light it somewhere it can burn all the way down and you can watch it the whole time. Watch it burn down. Do not take your eyes off of it even for one second, even one millisecond. Do not look away. Start with a small candle. What this does is empties your mind's RAM for lack of a better term. It helps with alot of things. I stopped cigts three months ago without a problem, but I am totally fucking nuts and I did it to be a prick. Normal people are different. Watch the candle. Don't let others come. If they come and you can't shoo them off, put the candle out with your fingers. When they go away, relight it. It won't work as well but it could work well enough. Vinegar, dairy products, they go pretty well. DO NOT get sucked down into sweets, they wil damage your body more than alchohol, smoking or most drugs ever will ! No shit. Clearing the throat ? Get used to it, I am still doing it after three months. T^T

mons -> RE: Seeking Support (11/11/2011 3:41:20 AM)
Give him a lot of room and stay out of his way! The moment of wanting to smoke lasted about 3 minutes it hard but that feeling leaves!! It will come back but it gets less and less!!!!!! i wish you the best mons

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Seeking Support (11/11/2011 4:38:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kirata On the way home, we stopped at the little general store and bought a couple of packs of cigs for the drive. [8\|] K. haha, well dang -- i'm sorry your quitting experience wasn't positive. =p perhaps if you'd had some chicks along, it would've helped. =p

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