RE: Reversing your "role" when playing...

RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 9:00:35 AM)
I view submission as something entirely different from masochism. For me topping is nothing more than indulging someones need for masochism. I don't think of myself as having to be dominant. I don't consider my partner as defective because he might have a desire to have an itch scratched. From my POV, that would mean "I" was unsure of my role if I felt confused or uncomfortable in serving his needs in what ever way he required. I know who I am. I know what type of partners I choose, and not one of them, even those that like a bit of CBT, could be considered submissive. Our personalities were set. Sensations are another matter entirely. But if like so many here you feel the bottom role is inherently less than the top, then do not take the chance your feelings for your mate may change, if you like things the way they are now. quote: ORIGINAL: oneluckysub Dominants who enjoy bottoming or submissives who enjoy topping... Do you (as a Dom or sub) get "bored" in your role and want/need/long to have things switched up occasionally? As a sub, I have never had the urge to top my Dom but a recent conversation with my ex has brought the topic to the forefront. It has made me wonder if this is something I could do if asked. I am not sure if I would be just going through the motions because my Dom wanted me to or if I would begin to think less of him if I were to Top my Dom.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 10:10:34 AM)
I like this: quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I view submission as something entirely different from masochism. For me topping is nothing more than indulging someones need for masochism. I don't think of myself as having to be dominant I don't consider my partner as defective because he might have a desire to have an itch scratched. From my POV, that would mean "I" was unsure of my role if I felt confused or uncomfortable in serving his needs in what ever way he required. I know who I am. I know what type of partners I choose, and not one of them, even those that like a bit of CBT, could be considered submissive. Our personalities were set. Sensations are another matter entirely. But if like so many here you feel the bottom role is inherently less than the top, then do not take the chance your feelings for your mate may change, if you like things the way they are now. could do if asked. I am not sure if I would be just going through the motions because my Dom wanted me to or if I would begin to think less of him if I were to Top my Dom. I also see sadism as something quite separate from dominance. I have known many sadists who were piss poor dominants, and many dominants with little or no interest in sadism.

MariaB -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 3:09:14 PM)
Although I can differentiate sadism from dominance and masochism from submission, I think for the most part its interlinked. I have no idea what a non dominant sadist gets out of giving pain but then I wouldn't because I am a dominant sadist. For me its about reaction, control and the the high one feels at seeing your submissive in such a vulnerable place with the knowledge that they are doing this for you. Its more about a feeling of connection to the body and the self. Nothing matters except the submissive and me and for the sound of, her cries, my voice and the crack of my whip. For me, sadism is not separate from dominance but it is separate from leadership because to me at least, leadership and dominance are two very individual things. I for example consider myself to be a good dominant but my husband is a far better leader than I could ever be. Oh well, we can't be good at everything!! For a submissive masochist the essential component is not the pain of the flogger itself, but rather the knowledge that one person has complete control over the other. In both sadistic dominance and masochistic submission, its much more about what is going on in the brain than what is happening to the flesh.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 3:29:22 PM)
Nicely said MariaB :)

BurntKitty -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 4:08:16 PM)
When I "play" in my local dungeon, it's only impact play, casual pain, I call it. I'll whack & thwack or be whacked 'n thwacked. It doesn't matter which end of the flogger I'm on. (Now with a single tail, I'm not a thrower, but I looove being the catcher.) I go to the play parties for the socializing. If I get my pain on.... all the more fun! In my personal relationship, we're not a d/s dynamic. We do have an s & m one though. He's the nicest, sweetest, sadist I've ever known. He enjoys how my body reacts to his evil actions. I enjoy his ebil ways. (Right now I have an ear worm singing Santana's Evil Ways.)

delilahdelight -> RE: Reversing your "role" when playing... (11/3/2011 4:15:56 PM)
I also see sadism as something quite separate from dominance. I have known many sadists who were piss poor dominants, and many dominants with little or no interest in sadism. Love how that thought was "spoken".

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