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LadyPact -> RE: Dominant Ladies: How do you prefer to be addressed and spoken to by an unknown male approaching you? (10/24/2011 3:31:33 AM)
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Here's how this works for me.
The only people who are allowed to call Me Mistress at all times are those who are collared to Me or are under consideration of becoming Mine.
I've had certain play partners who are permitted to call Me Mistress while we are sharing a scene and during after care only. This is only if they have specific permission.
If a Dominant has instructed their submissive to address all Dominants as Master or Mistress, I can deal with that, too, because I'm not the one who is in charge in their dynamic. If it would be that big of a deal to Me, I would ask the Dominant to direct the submissive to make an exception in My case. I also don't have fits about it if a person happens to be Gorean because that's a part of their culture.
As a leather person, it's perfectly acceptable to call Me Mistress Pact or Mistres <insert real name here>. That's actually the proper protocol and the difference is that they are including a qualifying name. It shows that they are recognizing that I've earned My leathers, but not implying a dynamic with Me.
In BDSM circles (which are different than leather functions), I go by Lady Pact. I prefer the same if it is somebody that doesn't know Me because I prefer they address Me by screen name, which also happens to be My scene name. I'm fine with My real name on a friendship basis, but I prefer My scene name if we are in a kink environment, such as a club.
For those who don't like any kind of formality or don't like titles, I'm just as content with LP. Pact is ok, too. However, that can get kind of confusing if it's a situation where both My husband and I are present. In some households, it's not uncommon for the senior person in the leather culture to have the primary name and others in the household, either Dominants who have fewer years experience or the submissives owned by that person to take some form of a derivative of of the senior person's name. My other half's name on these boards is MisterPact and of course, it's LPs_little clip. It can make "Pact" confusing and leaving us unsure if just which of us a person is addressing.
Ma'am can also be acceptable depending on the circumstances. My personal opinion of Goddess is that it's rather ridiculous. I'm not a deity.
There's your proper protocol lesson for the day.
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