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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 8:01:26 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Yeah, pretty well exactly what you said Focus, well except for the doer/doee part.

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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 11:25:54 PM

DeviantlyD

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I think you've done a wonderful job of explaining your take on it and I would say that it falls in line with my own. To answer your question "why", I can't put it any better than you have already. :)

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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 11:32:30 PM

DeviantlyD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think I just came from that thread.

Yes, I call it play and I call it that because it's fun. I tend to call it casual play so people know the difference between just S/m for a scene and something that is a more in-depth relationship or one that includes physical sex. A scene to Me doesn't have to be about a serious commitment beyond engaging in the activity with someone that you trust and ensuring that no harm is going to come to the participants and others that might be affected. It's not about love or sex. It's about S/m and enjoying the experience.

I underlined the quote above to show that this is the way I interpret the word play and I don't like to use it for describing what we do in my relationship, because we don't do that. We do it for the sex. Period. Just seems to be closer to the truth in calling it sex and not play although of course much of sex is play. I just always thought the word play was more or less set aside for the type of thing LadyPact outlined above. We don't do scenes, we don't include others, we're just at home bonking each other's brains out sometimes with pain and toys and whatever, but it seems to be not quite what play means. Our way it seems to be just two people getting it on.

Since the "pain and toys" are not technically sex, per se, would you see it as foreplay?

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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 11:48:56 PM

Endivius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Is bdsm activity, in or out of a relationship play for you? Why or why not?

More or less I agree with you and Focus. The difference I would gather is that it is not a game for me. It's not a role. It is who I am and how I behave. I may be polite and generally pleasant, that does not mean that I didn't eat your sandwich or fart next to you in the elevator.

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RE: Playing? - 10/4/2011 5:01:52 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
Since the "pain and toys" are not technically sex, per se, would you see it as foreplay?

It can be, but not necessarily. For example, I engage in S/m with women. I'm straight so that eliminates any sexual inclinations that I have towards the bottom.

This doesn't mean that I can't necessarily see it as foreplay whom I'm sexually intimate. It most certainly can be, depending on who I am playing with.

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RE: Playing? - 10/4/2011 5:34:26 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

So far I have not found a word which would kick it up a notch in terms of maturity. Perhaps I should have started a topic asking what people might call it instead.
Any suggestions?

Whoa, definitely not the artistic/creative type myself.... lol

Though often the same word (play) in a different language can work - but I only savvy Oz English.

Yep, got nuthin'...! Which is ok as I don't actually say the word when I'm in the mood for some action. She usually picks up on my tone - or "the look" - or being seized....

Focus.

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RE: Playing? - 10/4/2011 5:44:39 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Yeah, pretty well exactly what you said Focus, well except for the doer/doee part.

Ok, you wanna knock it off with this agreeing bizzo???

It's we doers who's sposta mess with the minds of you doees - not arse about, thankyaverymuch...! ;)

Focus.

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Post #: 47