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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 4:18:27 PM   
lizi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

When in a relationship my sex is almost always BDSM driven. But holy smokes.. it is FUN. Rolicking pleasure and pain with a conundrum of omg why do I love this so much, coursing through my bloodstream. It is rare that sex was not some sort of marathon of events. Definitely play by my estimation.



Lol, heck yes we play in the bedroom as well. I just don't like to use the word play on the boards when I'm answering posts because it seems to signify something that he and I don't do- which is some type of interaction that is more for BDSM needs than sex. We don't scene or play in my estimation, but marathon sex sessions, well sure! And bring out the hardware!
It's for sex though, not for the other stuff. 
I'm trying to be more descriptive and clear by not using the word play. Because it just doesn't sound like what we do- we dont have any other goal or need to fill like other people seem to.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 4:40:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RexDarcy

The word play brings to My mind things like Playstation, poker, board games, and card games. Those things can be fun, just as giving a beating can be, but the set of resposibilities along with the sadistic activities I enjoy moves those activities out of the realm of play in My mind.

If anything, this kind of confirms My agreement with Missokyst.  Maybe not "play" in the same sense of sedentary activities that you listed above.  How about something like football?  That's something that we "play".  When we do, we know the rules, what the positions are, we're aware of the risks, etc.  Some of us even take it seriously enough that we practice various skills and study beforehand.  We even recognize the psychological affects.

Yes, even sometimes, we're going to play with rookies.  I just wish that some of these discussions could be had while also acknowledging that it isn't the first time on the field for everyone.




_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 4:49:06 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		well start a website for people who've been "in the scene" for 20years plus or for "24/7ers" only then the rest of us won't bother you with our silly little questions. Alternatively you could stop reading them and replying to them
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexDarcy

The word play brings to My mind things like Playstation, poker, board games, and card games. Those things can be fun, just as giving a beating can be, but the set of resposibilities along with the sadistic activities I enjoy moves those activities out of the realm of play in My mind.

If anything, this kind of confirms My agreement with Missokyst.  Maybe not "play" in the same sense of sedentary activities that you listed above.  How about something like football?  That's something that we "play".  When we do, we know the rules, what the positions are, we're aware of the risks, etc.  Some of us even take it seriously enough that we practice various skills and study beforehand.  We even recognize the psychological affects.

Yes, even sometimes, we're going to play with rookies.  I just wish that some of these discussions could be had while also acknowledging that it isn't the first time on the field for everyone.






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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 4:51:49 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		--FR--

When I was younger I "played" football.  But it was real football.  If I "play" Scrabble, it's real Scrabble.  They are things that are "played" because they are fun and enjoyable.  Sex, D/s, and  BDSM are every bit as real as football or Scrabble, and even more enjoyable.  The fact that they are done within an intimate relationship is no reason to stop thinking of them as "play".  LOL...just because someone has a significant other doesn't mean you have to stop "playing" with each other, even though all too often it does seem to happen. 

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RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:01:21 PM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

why is important to define what you do in an intimate situation with your partner? It's just that thing you do and it's different every time so no one word can describe it
so you don't say 'sex' or 'fuck'---it's just that intimate thing you do with your partner?

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:01:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

well start a website for people who've been "in the scene" for 20years plus or for "24/7ers" only then the rest of us won't bother you with our silly little questions. Alternatively you could stop reading them and replying to them

Damned if you do and damned if you don't again.  LOL.

See, the OP (Missokyst) isn't a newbie.  She likes hard core stuff that she's probably not participating in it with someone who is taking their first turn around the block.  I'm the same way at least 95% of the time.  If I am breaking somebody's BDSM cherry (another expression that some folks don't like) I already know I have to start with the 101 class.  Fact is, that's a really small percentage in the grand scheme of things.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/3/2011 5:02:19 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:10:38 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		it is just that thing I do, this "scene" thing fuck's me right off. Seems to me that everyone wants their own little definitions or acronyms to seperate themselves from those who are not in the know, all it does is alienate people. Do you know what a SFC is?
quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

why is important to define what you do in an intimate situation with your partner? It's just that thing you do and it's different every time so no one word can describe it
so you don't say 'sex' or 'fuck'---it's just that intimate thing you do with your partner?




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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:20:52 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		Is it? there are millions of people out there with a silk scarf or two, or a pair of handcuffs. They don't know what they are doing but they know they enjoy it, then they stumble across CM or something similar and if they don't get it just right the po faced brigade step in and the shit hits the fan. Thanks for coming newbie, wanna play?
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

well start a website for people who've been "in the scene" for 20years plus or for "24/7ers" only then the rest of us won't bother you with our silly little questions. Alternatively you could stop reading them and replying to them

Damned if you do and damned if you don't again.  LOL.

See, the OP (Missokyst) isn't a newbie.  She likes hard core stuff that she's probably not participating in it with someone who is taking their first turn around the block.  I'm the same way at least 95% of the time.  If I am breaking somebody's BDSM cherry (another expression that some folks don't like) I already know I have to start with the 101 class.  Fact is, that's a really small percentage in the grand scheme of things.




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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:31:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

Is it? there are millions of people out there with a silk scarf or two, or a pair of handcuffs. They don't know what they are doing but they know they enjoy it, then they stumble across CM or something similar and if they don't get it just right the po faced brigade step in and the shit hits the fan. Thanks for coming newbie, wanna play?

And if they are at home with their partner and that silk scarf or pair of handcuffs, then they are gaining experience every time they do it.  The partner is coming along right with them.  They aren't playing with brand new folks who they have to explain everything to, are they?  As they gain that experience, they know that they have to talk with somebody who has less experience than them.  

Of course, as I always say, if I was a bottom and it was My ass on the line, I'd probably go with the top who knew how to negotiate the scene and knew what they were doing for the play.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:36:41 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		From: LadyPact

Dated:
10/4/11 1:04 AM




Stop being butthurt, bro. I hate to tell you this, but you've got a real insecurity problem when it comes to folks who are more experienced than you.




no, I have problem with people who take themselves too seriously,the scene too seriously and play too seriously.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:47:38 PM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

it is just that thing I do, this "scene" thing fuck's me right off. Seems to me that everyone wants their own little definitions or acronyms to seperate themselves from those who are not in the know, all it does is alienate people. Do you know what a SFC is?
quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

why is important to define what you do in an intimate situation with your partner? It's just that thing you do and it's different every time so no one word can describe it
so you don't say 'sex' or 'fuck'---it's just that intimate thing you do with your partner?



SFC--umm Sucks Filthy Cocks?    I can't see play as being an acronym?   If we say play most people have an idea what we are talking about---but some people IMO are a bit more serious about the whole 'scene' and don't want to use the word play.   Some people have a difficult time using the word 'lifestyle' (such as myself because to me being a submissive is not a lifestyle) but I get the point of what it means and for clarity sake I use it.    I agree that sometimes the acronyms are a bit confusing---when I started is was SSC and now it's RACK and there is the WIITWD is that it I don't know.   But I don't get all bent out of shape about it---if I am unclear I freaking ask!    If someone thinks I am a god-damn newbie for asking who the fuck cares.    So what is SFC other than sucks filthy cocks?

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:49:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Here's something else that I take seriously.  You know that nice little part of the guidelines that says you won't repost private email?  You might want to check that out.

However, I will thank you for the very public display of the kind of person that you are.

Enjoy your day.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 5:56:14 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		LadyPact, the football comparison is one I hadn't put thought into before your mention of it. Your comparison does make sense.

As for not being everbodies first time, I do acknowledge that its not always that way. It was only an example I was using to help clarify what I was saying.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:11:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I appreciate that, Rex.  As a side note, have you ever seen how serious some of the folks get when playing MMORPGs like WOW?  There's no physical aspect to it, but they know every aspect of that game by heart.  They study that thing so they know the ins and outs of it like there's no tomorrow.  Absolutely amazing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RexDarcy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:29:37 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Play?

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster



no, I have problem with people who take themselves too seriously,the scene too seriously and play too seriously.



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:31:08 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer to think of it as sucking fine cock.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
So what is SFC other than sucks filthy cocks?




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to fragilepieces)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:40:32 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		LadyPact, it is amazing. I know a few people into WoW. Its like a religion to them.

_____________________________

"Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding."

"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:41:47 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was giving it a bit of thought as I went about my work day today. When I define play, in ANY context, I see it as fun activity that binds people together. As a child we played hide-n-go-seek and laughed and felt that heart pounding excitement of getting away or getting caught. Baseball, people play together as teams united against another team of people who have bonded together. How about a hot day in the pool with your buddies? Fun? Play for me was always about enjoying life and bringing me closer to those who joined in with me.

Sex and BDSM is play for me too, because for that time, I am enjoying life and getting closer to that person beside me. Earlier I stated it is rare for me to have sex that does not incorporate BDSM. I thought about that for a bit too and I realised something. When I was married our relationship was about power, his over my own. It was BDSM if one considers DS (I do not) and it lacked the physical nature of play. I never could bond to that man. We had sex and it was good, but it was not memorable. In the morning I still looked out my window and wished I could go back to having fun.

Play for me is bonding.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:56:10 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

So far I have not found a word which would kick it up a notch in terms of maturity. Perhaps I should have started a topic asking what people might call it instead.
Any suggestions?
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
it's the one one most people know and there's a lack of something better or more accurate.

As I ponder why this is in "Off Topic"....

Focus.


Ahem..... gather 'round, kids.  Your Old Gran Pappy's about to tell a story.  Then off to bed with y'all, okay?

Tell us, Gran Pappy, tell us!

Well, back when I used to do what's called "play" nowadays, we called it "work."

<gasp!> Really, Gran Pappy?  Really?

Well, sure.  Now your Old Gran Pappy wouldn't lie to you youngin's now would I?
-------------------
YEP.  One of the famous L.A. bars was called "the Tool Box."  Sure, it was "Nice tool you got between your legs there, Mister."  More to the point, one also said, "My tool box" where we now say my "play bag."

How did that scene with Jim go?
Oh, damn, we broke the work we had going.

The words were more about performing or building a work of art.  The concept was of the sub being clay, molded to the top's design, the top's plan. 

Many a time, I heard "Not pliable enough.  He's got his mind made up what the work should look like."

----- E T C. -----

G'nite, kids.  Now run off to bed befroe I swat you. 
<YES! Please swat ME, Gran Pappy, pleeeease?>  Scoot!

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 10/3/2011 7:00:45 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Playing? - 10/3/2011 6:58:35 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
Play for me is bonding.


QFT


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Profile   Post #: 40
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