|
AngelControlsU -> RE: dominant but not sadistic - is it possible? (7/16/2011 10:21:04 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: solicitude
I'm beginning to wonder if all Doms are sadists to at least some degree. Thoughts?
I am a mildly sadistic Domme who likes paddles, crops, cloths pins, spanking and other mildly painful activities I have been told many times that I was not a “serious Domme” or called inexperienced, scared, even fake because I have no desire to make My bleed or use other much more seriously painful techniques.
Years back I even wondered Myself, if I was Sadistic enough to be a “Real Domme” I felt as I was expected to love inflicting severe pain on subs and have no consideration for their pain or feelings and If I was not Sadistic enough I was not Dominant. Being younger and less sure of Myself I did not want to misrepresent Myself to anyone.
It took Me a little while to learn that just like there are all different kids of people there are also all different kinds of Dominants and submissive in the lifestyle. There are many ways to Dominate, submit and serve, we are not all going to be in to the same things and we hopefully just have to find the closed match we can. A couple could have a D/s relationship with out any pain ever being intentionally inflicted on the sub and it would not make there relationship any less D/s in My not so humble opinion.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kaliko
I wasn't sure, so I just looked up the definition of sadism. I was going to answer that my (ex sort of) Dominant has no interest in sadism...that the only reason he hits harder is because I ask him to...but the definition I saw said pain or degradation. We got some of that going on. Guess it depends on what someone's definition of degradation is. And since maybe there is a woman out there that thinks that a man even considering himself dominant over a woman is a form of degradation, then yes...I suppose to be dominant is to have a shot of sadism.
That Woman you speak of is Me, I am tolerant of all non harmful choices any willing adult makes but with Female Supremacy being on of my fundamental beliefs it just feels very wrong to Me, I have had a very hard time being present for any play sessions involving a made dom and Female sub summiting to them, It disagrees with me to the core of My being and even angers Me, I find it extremely degrading not only to the female sub but to Me as well, but I have never felt that the male dom was sadistic purely because of that degradation. (I realize My views are on the extreme side and very controversial, I am not trying to rile anyone up or run this thread off topic so no equality speeches please)
quote:
ORIGINAL: HisPet21
Actually, I'm trying to turn my dom into more of a sadist...let's see if it works!
Personally I have learned that I am not a good match to a sub that wishes to be a pain slut, but I can will push Myself a little more in that area for a deserving sub that I know wants a little extra then I would normally give. Hopefully if your Dom will know it means a lot to you and try to go that extra mile, but if you are looking for a level of sadism that he is very uncomfortable with you may have to decide how important it is to you.
|
|
|
|
