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RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:30:54 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		and as has already been pointed out.. most folks have preferences (limits, if you insist).  If they don't gibe with yours (generic), then move along..

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:38:11 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		so if you tell yourself your gonna fail an exam

instead trying you just move along

get out the chair walk out ??

what if youve put 3 yrs study into that course and a thousand pounds/dollars

you limit yourself to believing you cant pass it so instead trying you just get up and move along

id never have started my business then

its all to easy to just move along

if you go out your comfort zone it maybe more difficult but i for one dont want it easy all the time

back to my example it wasnt easy moving from uk to usa for 11 months

but i did it

< Message edited by DavidLee44UK -- 7/4/2011 2:41:25 PM >

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:41:14 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		personally, I wouldnt tell myself I was going to fail an exam... in fact, just the opposite, even if I felt I wasnt properly prepared (i.e. hadnt studied as well as I should have).

Frankly, though, going off your op, I had thought you were talking about interpersonal relationships, not potentially self defeating behaviours.

edited to add a dropped word

edited again to add:

how the hell do you (generic) know if someone has or has not tried the action they have imposed as a limit?

and who the hell are you(generic) to question it?

why should someone move out of their comfort zone just because you (generic) think it's silly to stay there>?

IME, those ready to step outside their usual boundaries will do so WHEN THEY ARE READY to.. and pushing/ridiculing them into doing so before then most always backfires.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 7/4/2011 2:45:26 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:44:05 PM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		im talking bout both

if you say on your profile you only want to talk to people in your time zone

your taking the easy way out

thats the same as if you say you gonna fail at something

both mean going outside comfort zone

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:46:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

lol i didnt mean like that

but ok

lets say your sub said ages ago i could never be her sub im just not good enough lol

this place all after is an argument lol

came back because i thought had something to offer obv not




So because people answered your post in a way you didn't like, you came to the conclusion that you have nothing to offer?  That's pretty fucked up reasoning...




No, it is just a "limited" view of what was being communicated.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:50:20 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

if you say on your profile you only want to talk to people in your time zone

your taking the easy way out



Bullshit.

There was a time I only wanted to talk to folks in my own time zone because of my own schedule, and didnt want to deal with trying to figure out if the other person was awake, at work, just getting home, fast asleep, etc.  again, AS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE ON THIS THREAD, it is a personal preference. And so what? WTF does it matter to YOU?  why are you all butthurt about what other people do or don't do?  if the person is "limiting" themself in a way that pisses you off, pull on your big boy panties and move on to the next?

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 2:52:13 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

lol needles

so is an audi the same as a bmw

if your son has it you know it effects all people diff but as i said IGNORE me as what gonna do with you


yeah you are all different. my 17yr old takes the responsibility of making sure others understand him. he doesn't expect them to read his mind. nore does he get prissy about it when others don't understand him and blame them. my son takes responsibility for his actions and doesn't bitch and flounce.

ignore me all you like. for it will be no loss on my part.

needles

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 4:02:58 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

lol needles

Developmental dyspraxia is an impairment or immaturity of the organisation of movement. It is an immaturity in the way that the brain processes information, which results in messages not being properly or fully transmitted. The term dyspraxia comes from the word praxis, which means 'doing, acting'. Dyspraxia affects the planning of what to do and how to do it. It is associated with problems of perception, language and thought.

im sorry if me having problems with this sorta thing is an inconveniace

just ignore me but my thought processes go 3 times the speed of my writing

as lady gaga says i was born this way




And like many developmental disorders some parts of it are remedied by interventions (such as working with an occupational therapist) and regular and dilligent practice.
That does not stop just because you become an adult.
Other parts are made more manageable through psychological counseling... and regular practice.

However, back to your OP, each individual has the right to choose what boundaries they want to establish as far as relationship perameters go. As mentioned there may be valid reasons for sticking with one's time zone... or it is certainly valid to make choices based upon one's faith or personal ideals.
One person's limits may be quite freeing to someone else and confining to another.

As for the example of the exam you gave: why would a reasonable person pay a large fee for an exam and not study for it/not take it?
But it is their personal choice... to schedule the exam and pay the required fee, to study and adequately prepare... or not, to show up on time, hydrated, and rested, to take the exam to the best of their abilities, or to simply put their name on the exam and get up and walk out.
Each of those personal choices has it's own set of consequences.

We make choices.
The boundries we choose for ourselves is one type of choice.

Some of our choices are well thought and some not.
We can always make another choice.
Wise people learn from their mistakes.

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 9:02:33 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		See? There ya go again.  You say that time zone was just an example.  And then you come back with the gem that if things are right, people can get around most things.  So in this case, it's not an example, it's what *you* think should be the norm.  Well, it's not my norm.  Long distance hasn't worked for me in the past and I'm not willing to go that route again.  So yeah, local it's going to be.  If I find someone, great, if I don't, o well, I'd rather be by myself than settle for someone who won't make me happy. 

It could, possibly, maybe, kinda work if someone was as close as close can be as to who I'm looking for, but I'm not going to hold my breath.  Either you find someone or you don't, it's quite that simple.  And no, 99% of the people here don't think they own the site.  The actual owners do.  So quitcher bitchin, get a refund and don't let the door hit you on the way out.  We won't be crying for Argentina, believe me.


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 9:05:27 PM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I understand what you're saying,
You do??? And you don't need a translator? Wow.


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: limiting oneself - 7/4/2011 10:32:58 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I understand what you're saying,
You do??? And you don't need a translator? Wow.



Vodka.

'nuff said.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: limiting oneself - 7/5/2011 1:08:15 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The op is whining because people would rather get a good night's sleep than stay up to chat with him. Sensible imo. And since he's already said that when he did try moving continents, it lasted less than a year, you would think he would have learned from this that the odds of a very long distance ldr working are damned small.

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Profile   Post #: 32
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