Frustrated... Idea?

Frustrated... Idea? (Full Version)

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Mellissande -> Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:11:40 AM)
So been trying to get "fertilized" ,so to speak, for a while. I don't ovulate regularly so Assuming I will ovulate eventually I figure sex at least once a day will do the trick.But Hubby isn't quite as into sex as I am. So in my sleep (and Sex) deprived, delirious musings I came up with the Idea of a surrogate penis lol Someone to be sure that I get a daily dose of that Miracle serum. Wonder if Hubby would be up for that Idea? Is that even legal? any Volunteers? So That's my daily dose of insanity for the day. Have a nice one [:D]

pahunkboy -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:30:47 AM)
Stand on your head after sex. That is what my SIL did.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:34:42 AM)
Wouldn't it be easier just to take your temperature daily and buy one of those ovulation kits? Your temperature will rise slightly when you ovulate and then you can use the test kit to confirm that you're ovulating. If that fails, you should speak with your doctor about putting you on a hormone to make you ovulate. In the meantime, you can eat vegetables that contain high levels of plant estrogen, such as yams, to see if that helps.

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:37:08 AM)
I've tried that, My problem is I can only coax my husband into sex about once a month. Which is not often enough for me to conceive if I can't predict ovulation...

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:42:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan Wouldn't it be easier just to take your temperature daily and buy one of those ovulation kits? Your temperature will rise slightly when you ovulate and then you can use the test kit to confirm that you're ovulating. If that fails, you should speak with your doctor about putting you on a hormone to make you ovulate. In the meantime, you can eat vegetables that contain high levels of plant estrogen, such as yams, to see if that helps. ok, Yams Got it. Ovulation kits don't work with severe PCOS I wish they did, I only menstruate about once every 6-7months... so I have no way to predict my ovulation dates... Trying to go to Fertility doc, But hubby has to have a semenalysis first and he's too embarrassed to ask his sargents for a day off to go to that Particular appointment [:(]

littlewonder -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:48:29 AM)
uumm...you may want to hold off on the whole breeding thing right now. It sounds like your marriage that may have some incompatibilities that could in the long run cause problems for you both. You seem to like sex a lot. Your husband, not so much. Are you willing to live the rest of your lives together like that without any resentments towards each other? Or are you ok with this? Or are you wanting a child for all the wrong reasons...loneliness, wanting what you're missing in your marriage, etc... If you're ok with this type of sexual incompatibility and wanting a child for the right reasons then full speed ahead and maybe talk to a fertility clinic or have his sperm inseminated since he rarely wants sex. Sex once a month is going to radically reduce your chances of getting pregnant. But please before getting pregnant think long and hard. I absolutely hate when I hear of women wanting children because they think it will make their marriages better or take away their loneliness and such. It's the child that suffers in the end and really...that's not fair at all in my book.

DeviantMan -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:49:27 AM)
You can always try a sperm donor, which is the pretty obvious idea, and get "fertilized" through Artificial Insemination. It can even be your husband's sperm... Which gets me thinking... This, Artificial Insemination, is common knowledge for a couple decades now... how comes and you didn't think about it?

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:55:36 AM)
If ovulation kits don't work, there's no reason to think daily sex will either. You have a bigger problem than erratic ovulation. PCOS means you will probably need clomiphene citrate or other fertility drugs to conceive. If your husband is too embarrassed to ask for a day off for a doctor's appointment, it sounds like he doesn't really want children that badly. If he's only willing to have sex with you once a month, there are other, more important, issues that need to be resolved before you consider bringing a child into the world.

pahunkboy -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 10:56:34 AM)
On her profile- the hubby is away in the military.

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:08:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder uumm...you may want to hold off on the whole breeding thing right now. It sounds like your marriage that may have some incompatibilities that could in the long run cause problems for you both. You seem to like sex a lot. Your husband, not so much. Are you willing to live the rest of your lives together like that without any resentments towards each other? Or are you ok with this? Or are you wanting a child for all the wrong reasons...loneliness, wanting what you're missing in your marriage, etc... If you're ok with this type of sexual incompatibility and wanting a child for the right reasons then full speed ahead and maybe talk to a fertility clinic or have his sperm inseminated since he rarely wants sex. Sex once a month is going to radically reduce your chances of getting pregnant. But please before getting pregnant think long and hard. I absolutely hate when I hear of women wanting children because they think it will make their marriages better or take away their loneliness and such. It's the child that suffers in the end and really...that's not fair at all in my book. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I do not think that a child could ever fix a marriage or any sort of loneliness or depression. We both want to be parents, And I can handle being sex deprived lol That's what toys and The internet are for. @ DeviantMan: Our insurance won't cover Artificial insemination or sperm donation until I am over 30 or he is proven sterile... I've been trying to conceive since I was 18, 23 now. 5 years of trying is wearing me down enough, 7 more years would be torture for me.

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:15:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan If ovulation kits don't work, there's no reason to think daily sex will either. You have a bigger problem than erratic ovulation. PCOS means you will probably need clomiphene citrate or other fertility drugs to conceive. If your husband is too embarrassed to ask for a day off for a doctor's appointment, it sounds like he doesn't really want children that badly. If he's only willing to have sex with you once a month, there are other, more important, issues that need to be resolved before you consider bringing a child into the world. He just got back from Iraq which is part of his sexual issue right now, I'm not going to push the issue until he is ready to get back into the Amount of intimacy we had before he deployed. and he's up for a promotion right now which makes him reluctant to ask for a day off to get his spunk tested

pahunkboy -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:25:45 AM)
just think- you could be like that octomom gal... with 14 kids..

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:26:54 AM)
My daughter had great difficulty conceiving & she'd wanted a child ever since she can remember. She finally went to a fertility clinic, chose a sperm donor & get pregnant. At approximately 5 months, the fetus died. She never got pregnant again. Two years ago, she needed a hysterectomy due to huge fibroid tumors. She has finally accepted that she will never have children of her own & has devoted herself to her fiance's child. I am one of those people who could get pregnant at the drop of a hat--or pants, actually--so I don't know how you feel. But I love my daughter to distraction & I know what she went through. You are still very young. Maybe you will conceive when you stop trying so hard.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:30:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mellissande He just got back from Iraq which is part of his sexual issue right now, I'm not going to push the issue until he is ready to get back into the Amount of intimacy we had before he deployed. and he's up for a promotion right now which makes him reluctant to ask for a day off to get his spunk tested The guys I know coming back from Iraq can't wait to take their wives to bed. It seems odd that he isn't keeping you there as often as possible. There's something rotten in Denmark, Horatio. I also find it more than ethically questionable that you're unwilling to "push" your husband for sex but you're perfectly fine with the idea of cheating on him in order to get pregnant.

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:38:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis My daughter had great difficulty conceiving & she'd wanted a child ever since she can remember. She finally went to a fertility clinic, chose a sperm donor & get pregnant. At approximately 5 months, the fetus died. She never got pregnant again. Two years ago, she needed a hysterectomy due to huge fibroid tumors. She has finally accepted that she will never have children of her own & has devoted herself to her fiance's child. I am one of those people who could get pregnant at the drop of a hat--or pants, actually--so I don't know how you feel. But I love my daughter to distraction & I know what she went through. You are still very young. Maybe you will conceive when you stop trying so hard. I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope that she is alright. Is she thinking about adoption in the future? I keep hearing that "You'll get pregnant when you stop trying" but man is it hard to stop trying... lol I mean everytime I have sex unprotected I'm trying right? We always planned to have 2 children and adopt 3 if we can't conceive adopting will just be sooner than expected. We're doing alright financially, But adoption is a very expensive and lengthy process

Mellissande -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:48:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: ORIGINAL: Mellissande He just got back from Iraq which is part of his sexual issue right now, I'm not going to push the issue until he is ready to get back into the Amount of intimacy we had before he deployed. and he's up for a promotion right now which makes him reluctant to ask for a day off to get his spunk tested The guys I know coming back from Iraq can't wait to take their wives to bed. It seems odd that he isn't keeping you there as often as possible. There's something rotten in Denmark, Horatio. I also find it more than ethically questionable that you're unwilling to "push" your husband for sex but you're perfectly fine with the idea of cheating on him in order to get pregnant. I wouldn't cheat on him, What I was saying in that first post was just a musing lol. He's never been one for all the time sex and when he's stressed out he doesn't like to have sex. He's always been that way

littlewonder -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:53:04 AM)
hhhmm...his lack of interest in sex seems to sound like a low testosterone level which will affect his sperm. Yeah he definitely needs to get checked out. If it's low testosterone he might be able to get supplements to help.

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 11:55:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mellissande quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis My daughter had great difficulty conceiving & she'd wanted a child ever since she can remember. She finally went to a fertility clinic, chose a sperm donor & get pregnant. At approximately 5 months, the fetus died. She never got pregnant again. Two years ago, she needed a hysterectomy due to huge fibroid tumors. She has finally accepted that she will never have children of her own & has devoted herself to her fiance's child. I am one of those people who could get pregnant at the drop of a hat--or pants, actually--so I don't know how you feel. But I love my daughter to distraction & I know what she went through. You are still very young. Maybe you will conceive when you stop trying so hard. I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope that she is alright. Is she thinking about adoption in the future? I keep hearing that "You'll get pregnant when you stop trying" but man is it hard to stop trying... lol I mean everytime I have sex unprotected I'm trying right? We always planned to have 2 children and adopt 3 if we can't conceive adopting will just be sooner than expected. We're doing alright financially, But adoption is a very expensive and lengthy process Thank you for your concern for my daughter. She's just fine with the cards that she was dealt. It was really hard on her at first, but she accepted it. Which is how I tried to raise her. We each have different paths to walk in life & this is hers. No, she won't adopt. Her fiance's child is enough for her. And she has friends with children for when she needs a "baby-fix". When I said "stop trying" I meant try to change the focus. Maybe your husband doesn't want to have sex as much because it's not much fun if the focus is always on conception. Try making it about the intimate act that it is?

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 12:28:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mellissande I wouldn't cheat on him, What I was saying in that first post was just a musing lol. He's never been one for all the time sex and when he's stressed out he doesn't like to have sex. He's always been that way Ah, I misread your OP then. My bad. If he's stressed, that could potentially affect his sperm count. However, I'm inclined to think your health issues are going to require medical help for you to get pregnant. He's going to have to cowboy up and go to the doc so you can get the drugs you need to conceive. If he's waiting until this evaluation cycle is over before he schedules the appointment, that's not unreasonable. However, if he's waiting to get promoted, you could be looking at years. If that's the case, you need to push the issue of getting him to the doc so you can start your fertility treatments.

MaxsBoy -> RE: Frustrated... Idea? (6/4/2011 12:47:45 PM)
Besides what has already been covered, you might try Vitex. It's an herbal supplement that is available over the counter, and is often taken by women with PCOS to shorten and regulate their cycles. I took it when I was trying to concieve, and it shortened my cycle by a full week within the first two months. It's compatible with Clomid, so if you end up on that you can still keep taking Vitex. It's a good first step if you're starting to think that you have fertility problems. I also highly recommend charting. Get yourself a good basal thermometer and start temping every morning. If you could use some charting help, try signing up for Fertility Friend. The basic membership is free, and it helps you see the patterns in your cycles so that you can track your fertile periods. If you're rarely having sex this is critical - it only takes one time to get pregnant, if you know exactly when. Sperm can live inside your body for a few days, so if you know when to expect ovulation, you can plan ahead. It's not easy, but not impossible either. If your husband isn't interested in sex but really does want a child, you can have him provide you with a sample so that you can inseminate yourself at home. I agree with other upthread though, I think working on your marriage should come first. It sounds like your husband needs some help to figure out why he's having such a problem with sex. The two of you could possibly benefit from some counseling as well, to head off any possible underlying problems. Having a baby puts such an incredible strain on any marriage, even the healthiest ones, so you want to make sure you work through anything that needs working through before the little one arrives. I speak from experience on this.

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