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REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:15:16 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

Posts: 68
Joined: 5/24/2011
From: In My Place
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any advice to get through my training with my "Daddy"?

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:22:24 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Follow his orders unless they will physically maim you or emotionally destroy you or hurt people you love?

Seriously, this isn't something we can help you with on the internet, even if your relationship with him IS on the internet

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:24:09 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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In a word... C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N ! ! !

There will be things you don't understand... things you love... things you hate... things you're indifferent to... things that make you happy... things that make you sad, and so forth. The key to success is COMMUNICATION!!!

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:25:39 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

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From: In My Place
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thank you.

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:28:02 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

Posts: 68
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masterslaveLA thank you.

communication is always key. in any relationship.

i need to speak up but respectfully so...

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:41:28 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng

masterslaveLA thank you.

communication is always key. in any relationship.

i need to speak up but respectfully so...

No... you need to "speak up" ANYTIME you feel the need to do so. Why? Because a good Owner will always be happy to address any questions, concerns, comments, etc. -- as it lends itself to greater understanding and closeness. Maybe not at the exact moment you ask/comment, but they will address it. The ones who don't/won't should clearly be avoided, as they're very obviously clueless and in it just for some free ass and maid service.

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 11:51:05 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

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thank you, MSLA,

im just so new. i have so many questions...

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 12:16:48 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng

thank you, MSLA,

im just so new. i have so many questions...

Hence the importance of ANSWERS to said questions... which brings us right back to COMMUNICATION. Everyone is "new" at some point. You'll be fine, I'm sure.

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 12:26:35 PM

LikesEmYoungNHng

Posts: 68
Joined: 5/24/2011
From: In My Place
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ive been told i am a great learner.

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"No woman truly knows what she is, until she has worn a collar."- author unknown

"Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living."-Albert Einstein

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 1:43:27 PM

littlewonder

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listen to him and do what he tells you?

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 1:53:02 PM

sexyred1

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OP, I have no advice for you other than the others said, but I do like your screen name.

Hopefully, the Daddy you are under consideration with, fits the bill.

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 2:25:02 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
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I'm not a great fount of wisdom, having less than a year in this, but from one newbie who's a little further along to another, here's my best advice, in what I think is order of importance.

1. Try your best. That's all you can do. If he won't accept that you can't do everything right the first time, there's a problem. Sure you'll fail, there will be things you're just not ready for yet, or that you need to be worked up to more slowly. Or that you just cannot do no matter how much you may want to. Accept that and don't let yourself think you've failed him because of it.

2. Process things. Don't be afraid of how you feel about things. Like somebody (MasterSlaveLA I think) said, there will be things you don't like and things that will really do a number on your head - the 1st time we did watersports the fact that I loved it really sent me into a loop of self disgust and loathing. think things through and look at your reactions honestly. don't worry at this point if your feelings seem "unsubmissive", they are how you feel and you have to process them, you can't just submerge them, they must be worked through.

3. Talk to HIM. Like MasterSlaveLA said, you need to talk when you feel the need. Not just questions, but also to discuss your feelings and reactions. he needs to know where you're at in your head, both so he knows where and how to proceed, and also so he knows when and where to back off a little. Hanners started a thread on communication rituals a while back that might be helpful, there were some good replies and ideas on there. http://www.collarchat.com/m_3655434/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3655915

A lot of people would say "do what he says", and would say that this one should be first, but I disagree. It's not even a consideration at the moment. The whole point of your training is to learn how to do that. That's your goal, once you learn to just do what he says easily and naturally, your training will be complete, so it really can't be considered a way to get through the training.

I may be way off base, but Hanners says I'm a very good slave and these 3 things are how I get through the tough times.

Good luck!

< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 5/28/2011 2:27:21 PM >

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 3:40:11 PM

popularDemand

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"Who's the daddy?"

pD

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Small talk stinks.

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/28/2011 4:35:38 PM

angelikaJ

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I know you are new but why are you approaching this as something "to get through"?

Are you afraid of messing up, is he a strict disciplinarian... are you unclear about what he wants from you and what his expectations are?

Are you feeling upset, scared or merely overwhelmed?

Being open about your feelings is very important; your agreement may be to do what is asked to the very best of your ability and then discuss how you felt, or the 2 of you might make other arrangements.

Just a note:
Some parts of being trained should be fun and if it isn't, you need to look at why.
It's hard to have fun if you hear that everything you are doing is wrong... and if you happen to be someone who is emotionally sensitive it can be easy to focus on where you need correction and not hear what you did right.

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RE: REALLY NEW at this.... - 5/29/2011 10:29:15 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

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thank you this has given me some hope.

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"No woman truly knows what she is, until she has worn a collar."- author unknown

"Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living."-Albert Einstein

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