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dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:34:32 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		is it strange that a person can have an extremely dominant personality but enjoys being submissive during playtime? i am interested in your opinions

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:47:39 AM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		Not strange at all. I believed said person, is called a switch, or dominant/bottom.
I don't think I'd ever not be a dominant. I do think, it's possible for me to bottom to someone who has more experience than myself, who does what I want/need/think he should do, while I'm bossing him, at the same time. M

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:52:04 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		in my public life I am extremely dominant. I take no crap from anyone, and I'm in total control of myself and quite often people around me. I enjoy it, and don't want to change.

In my private life I'm his slave (by our definition of the word - YMMV)

I can't imagine being any other way. But when it comes to my relationship and to sex, I don't want to be in control. Not in any way, shape or form. If things work out and one day we decided to move in together, I'd expect him to manage the money, what clothes I wear, what I cook, and all that sort of stuff. I am totally subservient to him and to his wishes and commands.

But at work and with family, I would still be the 'alpha bitch' I was described as recently, lol

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 3:06:22 AM   
popularDemand


Posts: 228
Status: offline 		Yes.
Quite right.
It's strange...

... when you're strange,
faces come out of the rain,
when you're strange
no-one remembers your name,
when you're strange
when you're strange
when you're strannnge.

pD



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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 3:11:59 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I am in the same boat as myotherself. I am extremely Dominant at work and in most things I do. I am a take charge person. But I am a Gentleman to ladies in public and submissive in private. This is more common than you might think.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 3:39:36 AM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

I am in the same boat as myotherself. I am extremely Dominant at work and in most things I do. I am a take charge person. But I am a Gentleman to ladies in public and submissive in private. This is more common than you might think.


Exactly.


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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 3:45:44 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		No it is not strange

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 3:55:42 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3919
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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 4:08:16 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Most people don't want to do during their free time, what they do for work. The more stress you're under during the day, the more being able to hand over control is helpful.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 5:05:48 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'd say you're in the majority

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:23:48 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		In a sense yes. In another much more fundamental way no.

I'm in a relationship where the dom is dominant by personality and the sub is submissive by personality. So to me it certainly seems a bit strange that a dominant personality would submit.... especially towards TPE.

But then again, and much more fundamentally, humans in my experience absolutely resist nice neat little rules and cubby holes. So the "not strange" part is that a part of being human is being strange :) I'm actually more surprised when someone actually conforms reasonably well to some stereotype.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:35:01 PM   
TheCabal


Posts: 291
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: Lots of different places
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it strange that a person can have an extremely dominant personality but enjoys being submissive during playtime? i am interested in your opinions


There are multiple ways to be both dominant and submissive.  People have already mentioned being dominant at work and submissive at home. 

There is also something called an "Alpha Slave" - this would be a slave who serves as a 'capable right hand' to their Dominant.  In a poly household, such a person might be completely servile to the head of the household, but otherwise dish out discipline to the other members. And this dynamic would exist even in a TPE environment.


< Message edited by TheCabal -- 5/28/2011 2:36:24 PM >

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:35:10 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it strange that a person can have an extremely dominant personality but enjoys being submissive during playtime? i am interested in your opinions


It's not strange at all, you are the typical male submissive. JMO, YMMV.


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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 2:42:28 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

is it strange that a person can have an extremely dominant personality but enjoys being submissive during playtime? i am interested in your opinions


Nothing strange or wrong with it, it's a sexual preference, what turns you on turns you on, common misconception that submissives are doormats

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/28/2011 6:21:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		People are what they are. I am the boss at work, and the dom in relationships, or else an equal. I can't imagine submitting. I do enjoy DELEGATING, though.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 5/30/2011 2:13:43 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i'm glad that it's something that's fairly common. i thought i was alone in all this. thanks for assuring me that i'm not

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 6/5/2011 9:15:04 AM   
Leovinus


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline 		I don't find that strange at all, in fact I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I often feel that in order to experience being dominated that I would have to submit myself to not only the control of another but to allow them to decide what activities will take place. I'm not a submissive person in all aspects of my life and it sometimes seems that in order to be dominated at all I would have to get together with a dominant woman and spend my whole life being submissive, this is not how I want to live all of the time. In fact I have a very clear idea of the BDSM related things I want to do, in an ideal world I would like to come up with the scenarios myself and hand over control of them to a dominant person who could force me to go through with it all.

This is probably a little vague, I struggle sometimes to come up with words to describe my thinking. Wouldn't it be great if you could simply state on some forum what you want to do and instigate a simple trade with somebody whereby they fulfil your fantasy in return for you fulfilling one of theirs albeit as closely as personal limits permit.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 6/5/2011 9:37:06 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

i'm glad that it's something that's fairly common. i thought i was alone in all this. thanks for assuring me that i'm not



I would say it is more than common, it is typical. The world does not allow us much leeway to be who we are sexually speaking. I know there are some people out there who can live with and be cared for by a dominant partner, but most of us have to be "out there" and "doing it". I would not get very far in life if I was everyone's submissive, and neither would you.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 6/5/2011 10:54:28 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline 		The question I need to ask, as a Switch, is... "dominant and submissive"... or "enjoys giving, and receiving pain"... the two are nothing alike.

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RE: dominant and submissive? - 6/5/2011 11:15:53 AM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

The question I need to ask, as a Switch, is... "dominant and submissive"... or "enjoys giving, and receiving pain"... the two are nothing alike.



a switch can be both dominant and submissive. Or they can be a dominant and a bottom, or a top and a submissive...

For the most part... its someone who likes both.

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