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D/s marriage ceremony - 5/14/2011 7:38:07 PM

falccon

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One fantasy I have dreamed about and mulled over is a D/s style marriage ceremony. It would be held in a safe place without any hindrances by the outside world. People from the community would be invited. Presided over by a pastor. The Domme would walk down the aisle followed by the slave on his hands and knees. When they get to the front, vows are exchanged,and a collar is placed around the slaves neck. It would be complete with pictures and maybe a video.The honeymoon night would be a heavy paddling or whipping session to remind him who's the boss and for things to come. Anyone else have a similar fantasy or perhaps a real life experience?

Post #: 1

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/14/2011 7:53:06 PM

FelineFae

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i would not want to connect 'humiliation' to the ceremony where i am committing my life to someone.
Knealing in respect is one thing, crawling down an aisle is quite another.
Having my ears rubbed really does it for me, i love it, it drives me giddy,
but i never considered adding that to my wedding.

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RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/14/2011 7:59:10 PM

littlewonder

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I"m old fashioned and traditional when it comes to marriage which for me is about as M/s as you can get....to love and obey. I don't need for there to be anything else involved. To me marriage is the closest to legal slavery as one can get and probably why I love the idea lol among other reasons having to do with unity in the eyes of God.

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 3

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/14/2011 11:08:25 PM

Awareness

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No, it sounds like the brain-addled fantasy of an insecure nutbar.

This tendency for certain types to need their sub to publicly acknowledge their dominance in humiliating fashion suggests severe issues. Then again, perhaps it's example of that male/female dichotomy I spoke of many moons ago. Certainly nothing since then has convinced me otherwise.

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RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 12:27:44 AM

peppermint

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From: Montana
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Yes, every woman's dream is to have wedding pictures she can never show to family or to most of her friends. No one except a few in the kink community will ever see that lovely dress. To top it off, on her wedding night she doesn't get a guy making sweet love to her. She is obligated to beat some ass instead.

A wedding is not a sideshow nor should it have anything to do with humiliation. It is the joining of two lives together.

(in reply to falccon)

Post #: 5

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 2:58:18 AM

paulmcuk

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Joined: 4/16/2011
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Ouch, couple of harsh responses there. I don't see anything wrong with this as a fantasy. If you're in a true D/s relationship and it's part of your lives - perhaps even the very reason you got together in the first place - I can see the attraction of "celebrating" it as part of the wedding ceremony. There are practical (and possibly legal) reasons for not actually doing it, and I agree with those who say it's not an appropriate way to make such a huge committment, but a private "collaring" ceremony with like-minded friends separate to the real wedding could be fun. Of course, the sub would promise to "obey" and it would be fun to compose the other vows along D/s lines. The ceremony is then followed by a BDSM "reception" where the happy couple lead off the proceedings by having the first flogging.

(in reply to falccon)

Post #: 6

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 3:00:20 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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the whole idea of getting legally married is a nightmare for me. so no thanks.

i get the whole collaring ceremonies if that is what people want. personally i have nothing against a pagan hand-fasting as a gesture.

however, what you write is your fantacy and not likely to happen unless it's you and your loved one, assuming they want the same as you.

needles

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 7

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 4:12:56 AM

DarkSteven

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Why do this? Much easier is to have a traditional wedding ceremony for the vanillas in your life, and have a separate collaring ceremony for the kinksters.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 8

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 4:55:22 AM

ashjor911

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From: balcony, having a Smoke
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

the whole idea of getting legally married is a nightmare for me. so no thanks.

I dont agree,
when 2 humans coneceted with speical bond, that will not break expet for dieing......
that is marrige....... its not a nightmare......... its your dream day... or maybe I am still living in the wonderland,

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Why do this? Much easier is to have a traditional wedding ceremony for the vanillas in your life, and have a separate collaring ceremony for the kinksters.

I could`nt agree more on this steven,

any one want to get married they should do it the right way, leave your kinks away from your family & friends,
even if they are into the same things as you are.

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Post #: 9

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 5:53:43 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

the whole idea of getting legally married is a nightmare for me. so no thanks.

I dont agree,
when 2 humans coneceted with speical bond, that will not break expet for dieing......
that is marrige....... its not a nightmare......... its your dream day... or maybe I am still living in the wonderland,

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Why do this? Much easier is to have a traditional wedding ceremony for the vanillas in your life, and have a separate collaring ceremony for the kinksters.

I could`nt agree more on this steven,

any one want to get married they should do it the right way, leave your kinks away from your family & friends,
even if they are into the same things as you are.

hang on.....we are talking about marriage here, not a connection between people. saying that even that lasts forever is very optimistic these days. bare in mind that alot of people stayed married because it was the done thing, not because they still truely loved each other.

it may well be YOUR dream, please don't assume to tell me what i should think. i gave myself to my 'husband' for 16 years. people assumed we were married and that was fine. but i have NEVER wanted to be married and i never will be. i stand there at other people's weddings and it's all great for them, i'm thrilled for them. but for me, i hate it. in a church is even worse.

i am my own person and if i say i have given myself to someone then i have. i don't need a ceremony or a bit of paper to say that person has me.

these days i don't even want to live with someone anymore, although i have offered someone my wardrobe to live in but he's not taking me up on it, but that aside i'm happy on my own. that doesn't mean i can't still give myself to someone.

if marriage is for you then you keep your dream, i'll maintain it's still MY nightmare.

needles

(in reply to ashjor911)

Post #: 10

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 6:08:20 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

if marriage is for you then you keep your dream, i'll maintain it's still MY nightmare.

needles

I really don't see much of a difference, I used to be terrified about the idea of getting married, after being in a relationship for a long time without being married, my other half - who used to push for marriage quite a bit - asked me what would be the big difference, apart from having less paperwork and complications. Considering that we got a mortgage together, we have separate accounts but also a mutual bank account and pets, there are enough commitments already, signing a piece of paper is not really going to change anything. In case we would split, divorce would be the easy part, sorting the mortgage and property out a bit harder, but the most complicated part (and most likely what would cause a fight) would be who gets the pets, and that would happen with or without being married.

I don't dream about marriage, I'll be damned if I wear a white dress (white is so not my colour) and cause myself stress, grief and costs by having a big do for others, if I'm going to do it, we'll sneak off to the registry office, sign and have it done with. Not because I feel that it is more or less binding, but simply because it makes a lot of things easier, for example then you don't need to give power of attorney for a lot of things, a lot less paperwork and all that.

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 11

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 6:21:24 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

if marriage is for you then you keep your dream, i'll maintain it's still MY nightmare.

needles

I really don't see much of a difference, I used to be terrified about the idea of getting married, after being in a relationship for a long time without being married, my other half - who used to push for marriage quite a bit - asked me what would be the big difference, apart from having less paperwork and complications. Considering that we got a mortgage together, we have separate accounts but also a mutual bank account and pets, there are enough commitments already, signing a piece of paper is not really going to change anything. In case we would split, divorce would be the easy part, sorting the mortgage and property out a bit harder, but the most complicated part (and most likely what would cause a fight) would be who gets the pets, and that would happen with or without being married.

I don't dream about marriage, I'll be damned if I wear a white dress (white is so not my colour) and cause myself stress, grief and costs by having a big do for others, if I'm going to do it, we'll sneak off to the registry office, sign and have it done with. Not because I feel that it is more or less binding, but simply because it makes a lot of things easier, for example then you don't need to give power of attorney for a lot of things, a lot less paperwork and all that.

exactly where personal preference comes in. it's all subjective. it is my nightmare and i don't care what anyone else thinks about it. if others want to get married then cool, but i will not be tied to someone because of a piece of paper. i will be tied to them in my head because i want to be. i do not and have never wanted to be married. i don't care about divorce, i've as good as just been through all that. other people can tell me whatever they like as to why they think marriage is great, but what they have to understand is i don't care. i don't want it no matter what it is for anyone else.

the idea of someone wanting me enough to ask me is great, so long as they knew that if i say yes it's because i want them to realise that i think them worthy. but all on the understanding that i never will because i don't actually want to, ever.

i don't expect anyone else to get it, to understand where i'm coming from. but i don't try to understand them either. i just respect that that is what they want and expect the same back.

needles

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 12

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 6:39:24 AM

Buzzzz

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I have been to a couple of weddings/collaring ceremonies mixed together at our local dungeon. Very common thing happening here (I mean , I have been to more d/s marriages ceremony then nilla ones , so , for mr that is "common" !!). Needs planning , just like a nilla wedding.

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 13

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 6:43:58 AM

ashjor911

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From: balcony, having a Smoke
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LadyConstanze
If white is so not your colour, I am sure you will be amazing in a pink, yellow one,

I dont get it, when 2 humens stay togther for 2-3 years, maybe having a baby togther, but dont want to be married, why?
Is it (for better or for worse) or ( for sickness, & in health)
I have to say this: each one who dont want that after some 3-6 monthes of good relationship, then they scared from the commetment, or just dont want the responsabilty or even scared to death of sharing their love to the open to each person they know,

I have never been married, I think small fights do makes it worth it,
I dont imagine life without that special bond.

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 14

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:08:46 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
but i will not be tied to someone because of a piece of paper. i will be tied to them in my head because i want to be. i do not and have never wanted to be married. i don't care about divorce, i've as good as just been through all that. other people can tell me whatever they like as to why they think marriage is great, but what they have to understand is i don't care. i don't want it no matter what it is for anyone else.

Wow, must be a strong piece of paper if it's able to tie you...

Nobody told you you have to get married, I certainly wasn't proposing to you.

For somebody who doesn't care you make a really big deal out of it. Isn't it simple, if you don't want to get married you simply don't get married, but why going on about it? Look, I hate jogging, I don't like it, but I don't really rant on about how much I hate it, I simply don't go jogging. It really is so simple, nobody is forcing you to get married, calm down, there isn't a line around the block with guys trying to kidnap you and drag you to the altar. It's honestly not a conspiracy to get you married so we can put on uncomfy clothes and attend a wedding...

_____________________________

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 15

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:27:38 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

LadyConstanze
If white is so not your colour, I am sure you will be amazing in a pink, yellow one,

I dont get it, when 2 humens stay togther for 2-3 years, maybe having a baby togther, but dont want to be married, why?
Is it (for better or for worse) or ( for sickness, & in health)
I have to say this: each one who dont want that after some 3-6 monthes of good relationship, then they scared from the commetment, or just dont want the responsabilty or even scared to death of sharing their love to the open to each person they know,

I have never been married, I think small fights do makes it worth it,
I dont imagine life without that special bond.

I don't do pastels, and pink or yellow are even worse than white, seriously, I don't want to look like a meringue and to spend a fortune on a dress you wear once, hell no...

Well, you might not get it, but you see I had a couple of relationships that lasted longer than 3 to 6 months, some lasted years but in the end it didn't work out. So instead of having a track record of marriages and divorces, I opted for not being married.

quote:

each one who dont want that after some 3-6 monthes of good relationship, then they scared from the commetment, or just dont want the responsabilty or even scared to death of sharing their love to the open to each person they know

I disagree completely, you can have a very committed relationship even without being married, a marriage is easily dissolved, it's called divorce... If you are living with somebody, you have the same amount of responsibility, and if you are living together you're not exactly hiding the fact that you are with that person. I don't have children, I never saw a reason to get married, in fact the whole "big wedding, invite everybody including family members you successfully avoided for years, spent tons of money to cater to them, for a venue, a dress, booze..." always turned me off. You know, starting your married life with owing lots of money to the bank because you had a big wedding just makes no sense to me, I'd rather pay the mortgage off quicker. And funny enough a lot of people still pay off their wedding dept while they are going through divorce proceedings.

For me a marriage is something that concerns the people who get married, nobody else, I'm not keen on weddings anyway and for me marriage won't change a thing, most likely I keep my name and will not wear a ring, nor will he, it will just make a bunch of things easier, insurances and all that, or should one of us have an accident, less legal trouble, etc. Basically the only reason why I said "OK, hell why not" is because I am sure it won't change a thing. 3 to 6 months would be much much too hasty for me, you're still getting to know each other. I was saying to my other half "Are you sure we shouldn't wait a bit more?" - and we've been together for over 8 years now, 4 of them living together and owning property together, I'd say it doesn't make a difference at all in the relationship, the only thing it will make easier is really simple legalities, like one of us being away on a business trip, a call from the bank or an insurance and the question "Are you the wife/husband?" if you answer truthfully and say "No, the partner" you usually get "Oh then I can't discuss this with you..." Since the phone is in his name, water and electricity is in my name and stuff like that, it will just make it all a lot simpler, but definitely not a big "do", neither my dogs nor my cats will wear flower garlands, we'll just have a quick trip to the registry office and then go for a meal.

As I said, if it wouldn't be for paperwork, I wouldn't bother at all as it's not going to change anything. A piece of paper doesn't make or break a relationship, the people do.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ashjor911)

Post #: 16

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:32:25 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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We got married for legal and financial reasons mainly, it was more like a business agreement, but we love eachother very much too so we had all our family and our best friends present to celebrate our commitment.

I think your scenario is mainly fantasy and brilliant to get off on... imagine that eh... the setting a big old church, all the fancy dress of the guests and the priest... all watching the naked slave crawling up the aisl... ohhh cum cum

anyway my advise:... plan your party at a sex club and get dirty... but do the signing of the actual papers clean

(in reply to falccon)

Post #: 17

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:32:51 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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I have a fantasy of being married on Gor.

My kajira would be brought out in her binding straps and would assume the nadu as the vows were read.

At the conclusion of the vows, a branding rack would be uncovered and my beautiful bride would be strapped down to it and the words, "Domi's kajira" would be seared across her cunt.

We would dine on dock eel and bosk and the paga would flow freely.

I can't wait!

please be sure to rsvp!...mail going to Gor is notoriously slow.

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Post #: 18

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:37:45 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
but i will not be tied to someone because of a piece of paper. i will be tied to them in my head because i want to be. i do not and have never wanted to be married. i don't care about divorce, i've as good as just been through all that. other people can tell me whatever they like as to why they think marriage is great, but what they have to understand is i don't care. i don't want it no matter what it is for anyone else.

Wow, must be a strong piece of paper if it's able to tie you...

Nobody told you you have to get married, I certainly wasn't proposing to you.

For somebody who doesn't care you make a really big deal out of it. Isn't it simple, if you don't want to get married you simply don't get married, but why going on about it? Look, I hate jogging, I don't like it, but I don't really rant on about how much I hate it, I simply don't go jogging. It really is so simple, nobody is forcing you to get married, calm down, there isn't a line around the block with guys trying to kidnap you and drag you to the altar. It's honestly not a conspiracy to get you married so we can put on uncomfy clothes and attend a wedding...

no big deal at all, i didn't ask to be quoted and have my opinion commented on, which was to only say marriage is my nightmare. i've explained it a bit further, if you don't like it tough. move on and don't feel you have to quote someone to say what you want to.

needles

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 19

RE: D/s marriage ceremony - 5/15/2011 7:39:29 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
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I recall La Vey was married in a Satanic wedding ceremony that had distinct BDSM overtones. it's an interesting concept, I like the idea if you're that hardcore - the ceremony itself is a public pledge of mutual obedience, though if you have family, the dual ceremony thing would probably be wise.

Crawling might be a bit much for me, but I like the idea of full fetish dress, and an orgy breaking out during the reception.

< Message edited by xssve -- 5/15/2011 7:44:22 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 20

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