Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


FelineFae -> Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 5:57:41 PM)

As a D-type, what is your personal standard that you expect your domicile to be maintained ?

i am always curious how this differs greatly from person to person.

And s-types, have you ever found that your standards of tidiness differ from your D-type's standards ?

With Chaos and myself, sometime i wonder if i'm the only s-type told to " Stop cleaning so much and sit down. " [&:]




ResidentSadist -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 6:02:01 PM)

If there were military standards for a domestic home, that would suit me fine. Clean, tidy and functional.





coookie -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 7:08:20 PM)

He likes it clean but doesn't mind if it is messy. Mostly i take it upon myself to stay on top of the work because when it needs to get done there is soooo much to be done.

He often tells me to stop and sit for a bit to which i drop everything and sit with him because ultimately that is where i would like to be most.




NuevaVida -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 7:18:55 PM)

He is meticulous about the cleanliness of his home. I am kept very busy!  But once I start cleaning I tend to not stop, and he will sometimes tell me I'm done, that it's time to rest.




hausboy -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 7:32:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

As a D-type, what is your personal standard that you expect your domicile to be maintained ?

i am always curious how this differs greatly from person to person.

And s-types, have you ever found that your standards of tidiness differ from your D-type's standards ?

With Chaos and myself, sometime i wonder if i'm the only s-type told to " Stop cleaning so much and sit down. " [&:]


hello FelineFae

I have often found that standards vary greatly from home to home. I often find it important to find the "baseline" what that particular Household expects.

[man, I hope none of my Households are on CollarMe and reading this.... oh well....here goes.,...]

There's clean....and there's CLEAN.  For the first time, I always give a thorough cleaning, but I may not give the absolute every nook and cranny, every last spec treatment.  Not only does it give them a baseline to work from--that is, do they want me to improve...or want me to sustain my level of service....  but it also helps me gauge just how finicky they are...and exactly how much can slide. 

I hate to put it that way, but most do not actually appreciate the different "levels" of clean and can't discern the difference.  I clean for one Household that is completely happy with my cleaning at the basic level.  It takes approximately 3 hours, and they are very pleased. No need to get every single speck.

The primary Household that I clean for is the opposite.  Because we also have a punishment dynamic (all in funishment, for those who know the difference), it does not matter how amazingly well I clean, I know that he will make sure to find something I missed.....and that means a white cotton glove and magnifying glass may be necessary, but he'll find that one crumb underneath the microwave or in the back corner of the closest.  I don't deliberately leave or miss anything--he's quite the sadist, so he carefully looks for any reason to break out the canes.

That said, I know he's very pleased with the service I provide. And I enjoy how nice the house looks when I leave.  (That, and I usually can't sit down for a week....)

The third house I clean for is non-kink.  They are close friends of mine, and the husband is a good friend. He has cancer and is undergoing chemo, so not only does he need to be in a clean environment, but his wife is too exhausted and over-extended to clean.  Their standards are completely lower than mine--their house was never neat and clean, I spend hours just cleaning their floor and bathrooms and it never really meets MY standard, but they seem to be happy with it.  (I'd need a grenade to get the house clean to my standards)

It's always frustrating for me--I would rather leave feeling like I've left the house the way I'd want to live, but it's not about me, it's about them.  And really, that applies to the kink houses too.  As long as I meet the Household standards, then I'm happy.




BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 7:38:35 PM)

Clean and staying that way except for my office which always has stacks of papers scattered all over which they can,t touch, my mental fileing sytem only I know whats in every stack smile..Bounty




littlewonder -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 8:23:20 PM)

I would say Master is more organized than I am for the most part although I don't like clutter and therefore I keep my lfe pretty streamlined. He has more....stuff. He likes a lot of things done in a certain way whereas I could care less how it might look or be done. He also has a lot more energy than I do that sometimes it's hard just to keep up with him!

When I was younger I was extremely organized and clean to the point of OCD but after I had a kid that just flew out the door. I couldn't keep up with the messes and stopped even trying to keep up with her.

Now that she is no longer at home though I'm starting to get back into the habit again of being orderly and organized.




NocturnalStalker -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 8:30:51 PM)

I'm the, "you put your glass on a coaster" type.  I don't even like people cleaning for me since they usually manage to fuck it up or do a bad job.




HannahLynHeather -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/11/2011 9:34:12 PM)

i have pretty lax standards myself. i'm kind of lazy and messy and cluttered is fine by me. the housework is heather's responsibility and she has very high standards. she keeps the place spotless, and tends to spend the time when i'm at work cleaning. she washes the floors every 2nd day if not every day!!
it sort of bugged me at first, but i like it now. [:)]

hannah lynn




petmonkey -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 12:07:44 AM)

One Dom i had didn't care about any other space in the house besides the dishes.  If the dishes were done, He considered me done cleaning and ready for other sorts of service.  We had a row when He caught me sneaking out of bed in order to clean the bathroom once.  Quite embarrassing for the both of us.

Honestly, most of the households i've cleaned liked a bit of a lived-in feel and i like a bit of a lived-in/not showroom feel, myself.  i grew up in a very, very un-kept house, so take a bit of pride in learning what i have about cleaning, but feel out of sorts if the place seems too perfect, it's an odd sort of  "afraid to break it" feeling. i doubt my cleaning would live up to hausboy's UBER-CLEAN standards and it would be interesting to see in-person what he really meant.

Since i am moving in with my bio-mom, we've made the agreement that i get to decide the level of clean.  Before this, i was cleaning her place, but in the exact way she requested.  She's a bit of a cluttered hoarder shop-a-holic sort and in the baby-steps of getting over this. Many of her belongings never had a place--this will be a hard part for her, i think, facing that.  It's already been so, just from my tidy-up visits. Certainly, there's going to be some delicate moments, but by all indications, she's really ready to move on.  Kind of excited and honored that i get to be part of it.  It's nice to be trusted, you know?

Sorry, that's all a bit off topic: yes, i've been told to stop cleaning, by nearly everyone i've ever lived with, except one ex, Her Man, who would simply kick over my bucket and wrestle the scrub brush away instead. He was more action oriented, i guess.




Ariane23 -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 12:29:27 AM)

Finding a sub that will actually do the work can be more work than just doing it myself much of the time.




Aileen1968 -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 2:59:44 AM)

Heh...I just spent six hours yesterday cleaning his kitchen. He is no longer allowed in there.

eta...he's gonna be reeallllly uncomfortable when I clean the bathroom and that becomes off limits too. [:)]




Aynne88 -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 3:08:36 AM)

Heya Aileen! [:)]!

I'm a cleaner. He's a clean lover. It works. I have indoor house bunnies so I have to stay on top of it. Hay is a pain in the ass. We also like to have company and I would die if I had someone drop in and things were a mess.

His wife was messy and it drove him crazy. I know what he likes and since he himself isn't a slacker or the type to drop things whereever he feels like it I don't mind cleaning.

The smell of pine sol and murphy's oil soap makes me happy. Oh and in the summer when I am usually too busy to do my usual standard, I hire a girl to come in once a week. It's worth it.




Aileen1968 -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 3:27:53 AM)

He's not a messy person at all. I hate cleaning, but I love cleaning for him.




kalikshama -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 4:43:37 AM)

quote:

She's a bit of a cluttered hoarder shop-a-holic sort and in the baby-steps of getting over this.


Wishing you and her luck. Does she watch the shows where people's houses are transformed from clutter and chaos? (Can't think of the names, but I am sure others will be a long with them.) Watching someone else accept the process and its benefits might be useful to her.

Best,

KK




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 5:09:11 AM)

He doesn't have high standards, if the dishes are done, the bathrooms not haz mat zones, and the trash out, he's happy.

I like to keep things clean and as long as my back is up for it, that's what I do. I easily do 90% of the cleaning, organizing, tidying, and it would be 98% except that he has to help me with the heavy work.

I do not like to clean, but like NS have trouble delegating; no one cleans the way I do! I see it, like cooking, as part of my job, partly out of service to him, and partly b/c I am the obvious one to cook and clean, b/c I'm good at it.

He does cook on occasion, and does all the outdoor grilling (which admittedly, he is a Master at). Sometimes on the weekends he tell me to go relax and deals with the kitchen. I love that!




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 5:29:51 AM)

one of my weird things is that i can clean for someone else all day -- for myself? nah. my house is always clean, but it can be cluttery; i work on costumes or art projects and such all over the place and sometimes get scatterbrained and forget to put things away. but if there's a REAL mess, or something that looks gross, it's gone in 2 seconds. there are some things i'm really OCD about, and i'd really honestly PREFER not to have the clutter -- i've been buying all kinds of shelving and cabinets and such to hopefully make more storage space in this goofy little house.

when i was with M, he was VERY anti-clutter. he liked organization. he wanted everything to go right back where it came from; i never quite mastered that. he didn't really do "go clean that for me" though; he was a really hands-on guy. he'd show me how he wanted something done and then let me do it, but he'd always pop in and see how it was going. he wasn't really a super-neat-freak though.

a friend i had been doing some domesticy stuff for, he's a clutterbug like me, and doesn't really care where the stuff goes. however, i freak out if i put something away somewhere and he doesnt know where because i can imagine myself not being able to find something that i knew the location of before. it's frustrating! so i'm always like "where does this go? where should i put this?"






Charnegui -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 5:48:31 AM)

When I do anything in his house, I get the feeling, it is not done to his standards and one thing I hate the most is: someone doing my efforts all over again. So, if it happens once, I drop everything and will never do it again by myself but only when asked or 'ordered'. My own house isnt also spotless, but it is clean and one can live in it.

Sometimes I am unsure of what he expects and I'm insecure of his wantings and desires.
But then.... we're only a year together and we both have our things to cope with.

Since he said something to me, last week, I'm thinking those things over. It is making me see things in another perspective.





sexyred1 -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 7:40:02 AM)

As a sub, my standard of cleaning is very high; her name is Rosa and she has been with me for years.





LadyNTrainer -> RE: Of Dom/mes and Domestics... (5/12/2011 7:51:25 AM)

Heh.  I'm a feral animal and would be quite content living in feral animal surroundings, with the minimum necessary for health and hygiene.  One of my boys prefers order but won't go very far out of his way to achieve it, and has been frustrated in the past because he lacks the organizational skill and motivation to keep order.  The other is highly fastidious and becomes quite unhappy if the home is not neatly kept.  That's the one I've made the house majordomo.  He is not tasked with physically doing all of the chores, as his work (essentially two jobs) eats most of the hours in his day.  He is in charge of organizing them and keeping track of when and how they are done. 

The system works reasonably well.  There are benefits to living in an orderly, organized space, but I can not be bothered with the minutiae of keeping it so.  I don't mind physically pitching in and helping with specific tasks, but I won't organize it myself or take the initiative myself, because my level of give-a-shit is drastically lower than either of theirs.  My other partner is a lot neater and more organized when paired with someone else who is that way himself.  So it works.






Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.234375