RE: Interracial whatever

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Interracial whatever

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Interracial whatever

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/11/2011 9:29:07 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

i'm about as white as they come, pure scottish on both sides on both sides as far back as it is known (except one english bint on my dad's side 3 generations ago, but that hardly counts as non-white). i've never had a relationship with a non white (i've had very few actual relationships), but i've had sex with men and women of every colour and shade. its never made any difference to me one way or another. the only racial element i ever noticed was that a good number of black guys seemed to get a kick out of my being white.

the best top i ever had was actually an old chinese sadist in his late 60s. jesus he knew how a body worked and the pain he could induce with his fingers alone was unreal! but he was a client, so nothing came of it.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 21

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/11/2011 10:27:56 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

* To the white Tops/Doms/Masters -- have you ever had issues with feelings of wanting to do something "mean" to a brown bottom/sub/slave because of some assumed perception or feeling of guilt? if so, why? what did you do about it?

i briefly courted a German immigrant who could not get comfortable dominating me in any sort of sadistic way because of the Holocaust. She just didn't feel right about doing that with a Jewish person. We considered me being a tertiary partner to her other relationships but it just wasn't a fullfilling idea for either of us. Personally, i found her discomfort . . . a comfort. That she was a thinking, sensitive individual made me want to serve her more, too bad i couldn't get a spanking.

* To any brown person who cares to reply -- have you ever personally experienced race-based fetishism? what did you do about it?

i dated a dude who was obsessed with WW2 history, in particular the bits specifically about Nazi's maiming Jews. i got creeped out by the sensation that i was a. . . sort of piece in his WW2 collection. He wouldn't put the subject down around me because, somehow, my Jewish-ness reminded him of his studies. What he saw was my Jewish-ness before he saw me. In fact, he couldn't see past my Jewish-ness to me as a whole person at all. Not okay, my friends. i confess i was a bit cheeky about it, every time he started discussing the details of some gas chamber or other, i would start nattering on about Bauhaus Art and Weimar Republic wierdness. Perhaps he liked it, i don't know, i stopped coming 'round after a bit.

It's a form of latent racism that i really don't care for. . . and race play is riddled it. The sorts who say, "i'm not racist but i can't help seeing your race and i can't see anything else about you." i don't mind some objectification, but this kind i find as personally annoying as objectification as "sub" or "woman".

* To anyone -- have you ever even had an interracial relationship? Issues of attraction and such are mostly involuntary and personal, so no one can really be judged for that. i'm just wondering who actually has had one. =p how did you end up with the person? how'd it all go? did you have "issues" to deal with?

Yes, i've dated all sorts of people. Mostly i met people through school or friends. Sometimes i noticed their difference in cultural backgrounds and i loved learning about it. There was one gentleman who was uncomfortable holding hands in public because of undue attention it garnered in his past (he was much older than me). Another who's Mama made him quit dating me, since i wasn't "a nice girl from [their] Baptist church" Dodged a bullet there, me thinks. Another whose Gran loved me but because he was trying to be rebellious by dating outside his race, he dumped me. Mostly though, they were just people and it didn't work out for other reasons besides "the race factor".

Honestly, i don't indulge in race play partially because getting turned on by taboos is just not part of who i am or part of who i hope my partners are. In a similar way, i'm disinterested in wearing a nun outfit, or being called "slutty whore" because "good girls don't", or doing stuff just because the Dominant thinks it's "gross" and therefore funny to get the sub to do. i'm sort of a stick-in-the-mud about it, actually.

i'm Very Ready for people to not consider multicultural/ inter-racial dating taboo, most of the time i think of various kinds of race play as "too soon" historically, much like my German Lady did, and there's just too many potential headaches running into someone who hasn't dealt with their own hang-ups about "the other". One can run into that without including race-play in the activities. That's quite enough to deal with, frankly.

edit: quote box fixed. yay

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 5/11/2011 10:29:01 PM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 22

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/11/2011 10:52:30 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

I'm a brown skinned person, who's dated white, and black. I got many double takes, when I visited him in FL, by whites, and blacks.

In RI, we received a few looks, and attitude from a black waiter. I was waiting for one more wrong look, before going the owner, and getting him nearly fired.

I consider everyone a potential, if there is any attraction. My attraction is based somewhat on looks (skin color notwhithstanding), but mostly on his approach, and how he treats me. I am however disconcerted, when someone approaches me, simply for racial play/or especially as a black dominant . I am playful, but not if someone fetishizes me, so racial play is a no, no, for me. M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 5/11/2011 10:55:50 PM >

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 23

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 5:20:12 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

petmonkey -- now that is an interesting post. i've met people like that, for sure. not being able to see WHO you are because of an infatuation with WHAT you are. that is a really big problem. i'd say you handled it pretty well, though, and i agree with your conclusions. =p honestly, it would start to make me wonder if he'd want to turn me into a study. =p

bleh.

anyway, yeah, for me their relatives have always really liked me, and it ended up not working out due to "people stuff;" distance and cheating (on his part), or death.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 24

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 5:30:38 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I had a serious relationship with a black man about 40 years ago. It seemed everybody had a problem with it, my family, his family, everybody but us. We weren't merely stared at, we were threatened. This was around the time of the civil rights movements, so racial tension was high.

I had a brief relationship with a black man a few years ago. The only way race figured in was that we both like the way our skin contrasted, it never came up as an issue in any way. There have been a lot of changes in 40 years, we got a lot less stares in public.

I have never done any sort of race play, and don't like it. It seems wrong to me. I have a strong ideal of "ethic origin should be celebrated, not denigrated."

_____________________________

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 25

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 7:20:50 AM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

I'm currently in an interracial relationship with an Arab man. We both like each other's look, and that's about as far as it goes as for race playing a part in our relationship.

That being said, the vastly different cultures we come from have loomed large in our time together, which has meant there is more than one level of getting to know each other - not just understanding each other as people, but also understanding our backgrounds, in a way I never dealt with in relationships with westerners.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 26

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 7:30:49 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

My first and only inter-racial relationship tried to happen when I was very young... maybe 10-ish? A new family moved into our town and man they had the most AWESOME skin I'd ever seen. I'd never really understood about "blacks" up until that point. But I did think the daughter was really cute. I was told in no uncertain terms that "it just wasn't done." I'm pretty sure I'm just as color blind now as I was then but the opportunity just didn't come up. I haven't dated a lot of women. I have no particular feelings about "blacks" other than I think some of them have the coolest skin tones (I'm very visual when it comes to colors in general). I don't feel guilty about black people. That whole slavery gig was a rough deal but it wasn't my doing. I reserve my guilt for things that I did. Possibly something my immediate parents or siblings did. But after that, I'm about done with it.

Insofar as fetishizing you, who cares? Look, I like brunettes over blondes. That does not mean the only way I select is on hair color. If some guy is into your skin color and has a robust set of fantasies around it that doesn't bother me. I see that more akin to, "WOOHOO! bonus points!" What would bother me is if that's the only way he can see you. But then again, I don't get involved with people who really objectify other people. Honestly, how is this any different than selecting a partner based on age, breast size, or god knows what else? If you dumb another person down into simply one characteristic it's not going to be a long-term relationship. Skin color is not, by far, the most common way to do this. I'd personally guess age/looks for women and money for men.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 27

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 7:50:04 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Oh I totally get it with the skin tones. My ex hubby and I shared a fem sub from India. She had the most wonderful honey colored skin with just a tinge of cinnamon.

I remember she once went down to NO with her white b/f, and I cautioned her to be careful, the deep South being not known for racial tolerance. She found the degree of prejudice amazing, as she was a gorgeous, *high caste* Indian from a wealthy family, where if you didn't at least have a Master's degree, you were a loser.

Ironic, in so many ways. Prejudice wears countless faces.

_____________________________

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 28

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 7:53:44 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Oh I totally get it with the skin tones. My ex hubby and I shared a fem sub from India. She had the most wonderful honey colored skin with just a tinge of cinnamon.

Oh man! those honey browns that can turn into dark golden tones.. I can stare at that for a long time. There was this security guard outside where I worked. She had that sort of skin. But sadly, with her being a 20-ish black female and me being a 40-ish white male manager, there was just NO WAY to say, "Man, you have the most gorgeous skin!" Between age, color, and gender there were just too many ways for that to cause a lawsuit.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 29

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 8:16:26 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
* To anyone -- have you ever even had an interracial relationship? Issues of attraction and such are mostly involuntary and personal, so no one can really be judged for that. i'm just wondering who actually has had one. =p how did you end up with the person? how'd it all go? did you have "issues" to deal with?

I had a relationship with a black man for about a year when I was in my early 20s. We began as friends and he helped me a lot to explore my feelings of being transgendered. It was more a relationship of exploration for both of us and we eventually both ended up with partners of the opposite gender. It was wonderful for the time I was in it. His skin color, or mine, really had absolutely nothing to do with our friendship, how we fell in to a love relationship, nor how things ended up.

We are still friends to this day.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 30

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 8:55:57 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Having never been dominated by a man of a different race, I can't say much on that part of your post...

I have dated "black" guys started in high school... he was a good friend then we went from there.. his mom and my mom had no problems... we both had single parents... the only people that had a problem were the black girls at school... they wanted to kick my ass cause they didn't like that a white girl had one of theirs... never mind that none of them wanted him cause he was a skater dude that listened to punk and metal, smoked shit and hung out with mostly white people anyways.. He put our relationship on the down low because he was worried that they would one day gang up on me and try and kick my ass... I told him they didn't scare me but went with it because he was so sweet about it with his concern for me...

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 31

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 9:03:31 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Had a couple of em. One thought it was funny to do it, and one would have cut my nuts off if I would have even mentioned a difference (raceplay).

Most of the time it was black folk that didn't deal well with our being together. Although some did just fine.

So, each individual is ..... individually wired on the whole thing, I guess.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 32

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 10:29:35 AM

Ariane23

Posts: 88
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline

Pretty comes in many flavours.

I can be very attracted to Oriental guys. I went out with the most gorgeous Korean once. There's a friend at work who is serious eye-candy, and Sri Lankan. But I also have a thing for green eyes, usually found in the Irish. And long silky hair, which is probably the primary reason I've never really been attracted to African heritage guys. Most of my partners have been whiter than myself, but not as a conscious choice. Often it is culture rather than skin colour that separates one pool from another.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 33

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 10:55:41 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

fr

i'm half greek so darker than most of the people i grew up with, but not to a huge extent (enough to be different and bullied) and wasn't at school with anyone black until i was 11yrs old.

i've never been in a mixed colour/race relationship although i have found lots of different guys good looking. i have no idea why it's never happened, it just hasn't.

i think part of it is to do with my love of blue and green eyes. i know blacks and asians can also have blue/green eyes but where i live it's exceptionally rare. good looking is good looking whatever skin colour, but personality still has to match too. the guy i'm seeing now has the most wonderful green eyes that get me all of a blush on below, and it's that kind of thing that get's me going. skin colour isn't really going to be a factor i don't think.

needles

(in reply to Ariane23)

Post #: 34

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 11:04:51 AM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

. =p honestly, it would start to make me wonder if he'd want to turn me into a study. =p

Exactly! *shiver* If i had wanted to play therapist, we probably would have dug-up that underlying racism and discussed it, but i had other fish to fry. i've stated elsewhere on this site that i'm willing to work with someone if i discover they have generalized anxiety and fear about "other" but if the "other" specifically only references my own presented "race". . . you met me, get over it, we've got other things to do as a couple, ya know?

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 35

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/12/2011 12:20:03 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

* To any brown person who cares to reply -- have you ever personally experienced race-based fetishism? what did you do about it?

i'm gonna answer this on behalf of my ex-boyfriend (who was not kinky). He was from Africa and he was working in this gas station/convenience store in college, and people were always coming in and commenting on the color of his skin. He was very black and people frequently commented that his skin was so black that it was almost blue. i think women were frequently turned on by how dark his skin was. He also got a lot of random comments about his skin in general.

Those kinds of comments really bothered him, and at first i didn't understand why, because it didn't seem like they were derogatory. But eventually, i understood his point of view. It's like how i'm sensitive to people commenting on how i'm a woman and a cook. And, yes, i understand that it's a little unusual for a woman to be a professional cook. Cooks are most often men. But those comments bug me, and particularly because i hear the comment SO often. It gets old. Sometimes i wonder if that's all people can see, if all they see is a WOMAN and not a COOK. So, yeah, it bugged him and it bugs me. Even if it's subtle, it sucks being objectified.

* To anyone -- have you ever even had an interracial relationship?

As far as i know, i've never been stared at or treated differently for being in an interracial relationship, but i have noticed racism being directed at the other person (or at me) when i was in an interracial relationship. i don't know if it was because of the relationship though, because the same thing has happened when i was just hanging out with someone and NOT in a relationship.

i don't have a prerence for race in relationships, but i am kind of fascinated by culture, which is why i end up dating a lot of people from other countries.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 5/12/2011 12:26:09 PM >

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 36

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/13/2011 9:25:02 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

* To any brown person who cares to reply -- have you ever personally experienced race-based fetishism? what did you do about it?

* To anyone -- have you ever even had an interracial relationship?

I'll just give a quick reply because I have participated in so many race discussions on this board that I think most people know where I stand.

My dating history has more colors in it than a bowl of Fruit Loops. I really am "color blind" when it comes to being attracted to people. Beauty is beauty. Sexy is sexy. What does color have to do with it?

When I see a great ass, I don't say "Oh wait, she's Asian, I guess her ass isn't great after all". That would be stupid.

I've always found that when you free your mind, and just see people as people, you'll quickly realize that great personalities, amazing senses of humor, and incredible bodies come in all colors.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 37

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/13/2011 10:04:02 AM

paulmcuk

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/16/2011
Status: offline

I dated a black girl (and tried to date more!) but there's nothing really unusual about that in the UK. "Interracial" relationships are very common and no-one really takes much notice anymore. On UK TV it's almost compulsory for any black character to be dating a white person (or Asian person if they want to be unconventional). That's not to say we don't have idiots (on both sides) who will cause trouble but, for the most part, it doesn't raise eyebrows if a black/white couple wank down the street.

No BDSM involved in that relationship but I do have a liking for black Dommes. It's not exclusive by any means - I love serving females of any race - and I've never really analysed the whys and wherefores of it.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 38

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/13/2011 10:14:41 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

wank down the streets do they? how very avante garde.

cor blimey, guv. england swings like a pendulum do, indeed....

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 5/13/2011 10:15:30 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to paulmcuk)

Post #: 39

RE: Interracial whatever - 5/13/2011 3:12:27 PM

jewelsthepoet

Posts: 132
Joined: 12/28/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
3) i've also met loads more people who use BDSM/kink to justify very negative attitudes and behavior in all sorts of ways, race not excluded. and even after saying as explicitly as possible "i am not interested in any of that," i continue to get loads of messages assuring me that a. "oh, i really actually LOVE black people," b. "you'd like it if you tried it," and c. "you can't say that you don't get something out of being dominated by a White Man," which is just insanely offensive.

That line.. the you'd like it if you tried it pissed me off to no end. If i say i don't like it, there's usually a damn good reason behind saying that, so it's not just you or your color.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
* To anyone -- have you ever even had an interracial relationship? Issues of attraction and such are mostly involuntary and personal, so no one can really be judged for that. i'm just wondering who actually has had one. =p how did you end up with the person? how'd it all go? did you have "issues" to deal with?

I'm native american and i've had LOTS of interracial relationships. I try to stick generally with other natives, since we are a slowly dying breed, but it's harder and harder to find a responsible native partner. I can only think of a few racial groups i haven't had relationships with in one form or another, and i have so say.. i liked them all in different ways.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
to me, a fetish is different from just being attracted to someone. you're attracted to features, or you grow up in a particular peer community, or you have interests that sorta set you up to "go shopping" in a particular store. i think that's different than fetishism because fetishism is generally about having ANYONE/ANYTHING that fills that gap, rather than actually getting to know someone or having anything in common with them. it's more of an objectification than an actual interchange or relationship.

anyway, these are just some ramblings. feel free to disregard.

I've heard a lot of black guys complaining that white guys are "stealing all their women", and i actually happened to be in the vicinity of one of these discussions. The woman retorted with "Well if i had better black men to choose from, i wouldn't have to date white guys" which personally i thought was hysterical since most of the guys doing the complaining were the ghetto rap/drug dealer types and the woman was beautiful, educated and intelligent.

I grew up in a community where almost everyone was white or native or native/white mix, but we also had blacks, asians and a variety of other groups in the community, and it never occurred to me there was anything different about them than anyone else. Their skin was different shades from mine, their eyes a bit different, but that's just external stuff. It never dawned on me, honestly, till i was much older that there were actually different ethnicities of people, because we weren't really taught that. People were just... people.

Honestly, though, if you don't find most black men or green men or yellow men attractive and you prefer white or orange, that's you're personal choice. That's how you think. Your brain is wired to find that attractive so that's what you go for. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don't understand why some people do. Me, personally, i would love to find a full or half blood to be with for the rest of my life.. but i think i'm one of 4 ndn people in this whole stupid county, so i doubt that would actually be very practical and i'm not going to live on the reservation and live in 3rd world country conditions just to have that. So, one has to be practical. Besides... i like variety... every man is different, regardless of race.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Interracial whatever

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.156