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RE: How does one... - 5/4/2011 10:10:25 AM

southcalguy

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For me and my ex we made a spare bedroom into a convertible dungeon and that worked. We also shipped the kid out every couple of months so we could get into some really heavy stuff.

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RE: How does one... - 5/4/2011 11:17:21 AM

uncertainlyizzy

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I co-parent with an ex. This is the only arena I've ever been in the slightest grateful for that. He's unreliable though so we have run into nights/days where he's shown up with her in the middle of things and we're scrambling to get to the door with all our things in order. Special naps have been in use since the dawn of parenting even for vanilla couples. My parents had naps with the door locked for my entire life and told us that only if we were missing limbs or the house was burning down were we to knock on that door. I didn't figure it out until the beginning of high school that they were anything more than them just hiding in there to chill and by then I just didn't care.

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RE: How does one... - 5/6/2011 5:03:00 PM

ann1967

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lock the door.

our 5 year old grabbed a kitten by the neck. a concerned teacher suggested she see a doctor. the doctor asked the obvious question: what made you think of choking the kitten? She reported to the doctor that she saw daddy choking me. fortunately the doc was stable enough to take me aside and ask me about it, and i calmly explained that, unfortunately, she had walked in on us having sex. i didn't elaborate. he seemed to understand.

just the same, as asjor911 points out, its hard enough it kids witness their parents having normal sex! so lock the door. as far as sound, just find quiet ways of expressing your pain and pleasure - just as normal people do.

If it does happen, explain that you were just play-wrestling, or acting out a play scene and hopefully that explanation will be enough. At least the child won't worry that any harm will come. In fact, i think that play-wrestling is easier to explain than sex to a young child!

so lock the door, use silent methods of expression (these can be even more erotic because of the discipline required on both sides!)

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RE: How does one... - 5/8/2011 9:55:06 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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my daughets now 12 i had a bit of an issue a year ago when she heard me call master master we thought she was fast asleep. she also found out toys we dont use anything extreme and improvise with whats around us. she jsut asked me outright why i have an electric willy that wobbles in teh bedroom. this has all calmed down now and we now have toys locked up and a lock on the door. we live in a flat and i am not allowed to make a noise its part of the protocal and rules we have. it can be difficult when being belted but you learn fast when masters got a belt in his hand and im lying on my back with legs open. if his son or my daughter ahve heard anything then we dont know about it and i am 99% certian they ahvent. my daughter is too loud mouthed to keep it quiet if se had and she would ahve asked me and his son in 22 and if he doesnt suspect that our relationship is not how many would say normal then it ould be surprising. he knows his dad is a dom. we will be moving soon and my daughters bedroom will be next to ours and not the other end of the flat as it is now so we may ahve to review things. we plan to have hook on the wall and ceiling but will disguise it by a floucny curtain for those whom we dont want to know. ie kids and grandparents. the hardest part is keeping protocal in a way that is not obvious to others but with practice and tiral and error you find ways to do it.

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RE: How does one... - 5/8/2011 4:59:29 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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I have 2 teen agers and have never really been comfortable getting into heavy play when they are home. The thought of them hearing us having vanilla sex could be tramatizing enough yet alone the sounds of me screaming, being struck, or being called a bitch ect. Their father and I got very creative with our play time, we would sneak it (which in itself became a rush) and have a date night once a mth. Now he takes them ever 2 wks for a night and I get an "adult night".

ETA: Now my oldest did know that me and her father had a different dynamic than most. She called us old fashioned.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 5/8/2011 5:06:00 PM >

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RE: How does one... - 5/8/2011 5:46:08 PM

TheShrew

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Motel 6

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1
If you focus on the fact that your child will only BE a child once and every moment is precious you will balance out what you want to do in your "adult" life and what you are priveleged to do as a parent, which is put your children first.

These!

{Schedule 'alone' time. Otherwise, control yourselves until your child[ren] are visiting relatives/friends. Unfortunately, they'll be grown and gone before you know it. Then, you'll have more moments than you could have imagined where you'd give up anything to have them small again for just 1 day.}

< Message edited by TheShrew -- 5/8/2011 5:48:39 PM >

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RE: How does one... - 5/9/2011 9:18:47 AM

agirl

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We've never had any frustrations, mainly because there's a trillion things we can do, whatever the circumstances. There are plenty of things that do the trick that make minimal sound..... ie, nylon canes. It's amazing how quiet you can be when the need arises.

We are highly adaptable....as are the kids. Nowadays, they can stay in and put up with any *noises*,or go out. Their choice.

agirl

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RE: How does one... - 5/9/2011 9:39:47 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShrew

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Motel 6

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1
If you focus on the fact that your child will only BE a child once and every moment is precious you will balance out what you want to do in your "adult" life and what you are priveleged to do as a parent, which is put your children first.

These!

{Schedule 'alone' time. Otherwise, control yourselves until your child[ren] are visiting relatives/friends. Unfortunately, they'll be grown and gone before you know it. Then, you'll have more moments than you could have imagined where you'd give up anything to have them small again for just 1 day.}

Well, that's one way of looking at it.

My life runs alongside my children's and is equally as important. They come first in areas of responsibility.Other than that......... they, and I, don't view their lives and interest/concerns as having more significance whatsoever.

It's a *we* thing, and every second of MY life is precious too, no matter what stage or age we're at.

I see no particular privilege in being the parent of my offspring, anymore than I'd expect them to imagine they are *privileged* to be my child.

agirl

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RE: How does one... - 5/9/2011 11:15:14 AM

uncertainlyizzy

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You don't stop being a person the minute you become a parent. You can put your children first while still respecting the fact that you have needs and wants as well.

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