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How does one... - 4/16/2011 10:59:42 AM

ForeverFire

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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Deal with the frustrations of being a parent and in a M/s relationship?

Soundproof a spare room so as not to disturb the children? Gags do not muffle the sound of belts, or floggers very well. Price is a factor. Also, aesthetics.

Just a couple of things I'm curious about. Any input would be splendid.

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:06:39 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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Good question. Until the kiddies were about 5 or 6, I didn't feel comfortable locking my bedroom door to them. Which means our sex life was somewhat restrained for several years. After that we started locking the bedroom door, and explained about mommy and daddy and the "special naps." Our bedroom was on another floor and at the other end of the house, which helped. Also, music or a high tv volume can drown out many sounds.

By the time they were early teens, they knew what a "special nap" was and just rolled their eyes a a lot.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, even vanilla people make noise during sex. (Don't they?)

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:07:48 PM

littlewonder

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We played when my child wasn't home or we had "date" nights where she would go to a babysitter or we'd go to a club or hotel. As for anything else other than play she just saw it as a traditional relationship...man as head of household, him taking charge of the family. She didn't appreciate it when she was young but now that she's an adult and has her own man in her life I know that she now sees things sort of like me and thinks it's sweet.

Oh yeah...sex...it was never a problem. We were just quiet and locked the door, maybe turn the tv on to a loud action movie or turn up the music. It never created a problem and she never questioned it. She was too busy in her own little world of toys and imagination.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 4/16/2011 12:09:33 PM >

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:13:33 PM

subsfaith

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After juggling parenthood of five children I learned a few things.

It is much easier when the kids are not there of course. Grandparents, friends, or even a babysitting circle may help.

Being creative was a big help too. A teaspoon for instance, might not sound like a weapon of ass destruction, but combined with a cup of boiling water and your inner thighs... well let me just say it can make you wince!

Given your ages, I am guessing your kids aren't at their teenage years yet (that is where the real problems start as they stay up later) so make the most of their early nights, put a stereo on and find quieter ways to inflict pain. I always stuck with strict bedtime rules which helped, for example, once in the bedroom they weren't allowed downstairs, but they could open the door and shout me.

There is always daytime play too. Try organising your day that allows you to stay home when they are at school once in a while, a day of leave, a duvet day,or a change of shift etc.

There are so many things you can do if you think outside of the box.

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:16:03 PM

Arpig

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:16:56 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverFire

Soundproof a spare room so as not to disturb the children? Gags do not muffle the sound of belts, or floggers very well. Price is a factor. Also, aesthetics.

Greetings,

Not that long ago a question was raised about conducting BDSM in an apartment that addressed the sound issue. i provided a link to a product that will help diminish the acoustic backlash you're concerned with.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:31:00 PM

lizi

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It's tough when there are kids at home. For me the only times I could really let go was when they weren't in the house so trading off babysitting between friends worked or taking them to a relative's place. When they were at school was great if we could manage it on our schedule, but then of course I'd always get the inevitable call that one was sick and I'd have to go get him.

I personally wouldn't be comfortable with sound proofing. It might prevent the kids from hearing you, but then you also couldn't hear what was going on with them. Plus 'normal' sex noises sound like pain and can be quite worrisome to any child who overhears, kinky sex would be much more terrifying for them to hear. I'm not sure if it's possible to get sound proofing that would work to totally deaden all sounds. I think it's mainly to muffle and that wouldn't be good enough for me so I'd wait till they were gone.

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:40:03 PM

lexora

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I have heard egg cartons makes a ok sound proofing not great but ok and well if you buy eggs collect them all like pokemon OO but that can just be a rumor i never had the chance to buy or test it out >>

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 12:40:45 PM

ForeverFire

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Yay! help and advice!

I think the curtains would fit the bill, as they're portable. Also, not dealing with structure. Lease agreement: W/we can paint, put up window dressings, etc...and that's it.

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 4:09:08 PM

Asherscorp1

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My son is 3 and honestly I don't see that he has inconvenienced our sex life much at all. We "play" harder when he is not at home or when he is deep asleep. Small things such as Master needing to discipline me immediately we just go into another room, shut the door for a couple of minutes and Master makes sure whatever He does is silent. I know better than to make any noise during a punishment so that's not an issue. The sounds of whips or paddles, not really an issue since, like I said, we wait until my son is asleep or out of the house. I have to say that the main issue is making sure both people in the relationship are on the same page. If you see having to limit your play somewhat or being patient and waiting for special times to do really intense things as frustrating and bothersome than it will be. If you focus on the fact that your child will only BE a child once and every moment is precious you will balance out what you want to do in your "adult" life and what you are priveleged to do as a parent, which is put your children first.

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RE: How does one... - 4/16/2011 4:33:47 PM

RedMagic1

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Google "sound deadening board."

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RE: How does one... - 4/17/2011 7:15:42 AM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverFire

Deal with the frustrations of being a parent and in a M/s relationship?

Soundproof a spare room so as not to disturb the children? Gags do not muffle the sound of belts, or floggers very well. Price is a factor. Also, aesthetics.

Just a couple of things I'm curious about. Any input would be splendid.

Honestly, hire a baby sitter, or maybe trade off with another couple. The local authorities take a dim view of this lifestyle and the people who are involved in it. Last thing anyone needs or wants is a knock on the door from them. If the day does come when that happens, you may be able to wiggle out of it by convincing them it was just kinky sex, but if children are involved, there is a good chance someone is going to jail

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RE: How does one... - 4/17/2011 7:44:57 AM

NocturnalStalker

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You all make me appreciate my mother much more.

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RE: How does one... - 4/17/2011 1:54:51 PM

Buzzzz

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go toy your public dungeon (if there is one nearby).

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RE: How does one... - 4/17/2011 7:15:29 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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When my kids were little I was friends with a couple who had kids the same age. The kids were all good friends and one night a month I took their two and two weeks later they took mine.

But when they're very little they sleep soundly. You could run a train through their rooms and they won't wake up. Mine are now young adults and that's more difficult. I never know if they will come home unexpectedly. We play right after they go out, when we know we have a couple of hours before they get home from the movie.

I read a suggestion on fl to use the master bathroom if you have one. Turn on the shower and plug in a stereo and all sounds should be unidentifiable.

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RE: How does one... - 5/3/2011 3:48:01 PM

DommeKeliDallas

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Children's needs come FIRST.
There is no justification for your children to think their safety and security...their mom and dad are perverted or bent, or like pain.

Kids talk...
Do you want your scene all over the school?

Take it elsewhere.

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RE: How does one... - 5/3/2011 4:06:38 PM

lovelyesme

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I feel for you! 2 of mine are gone and i have two at home-14 and 16. Honestly I thought it was easy when they were young. Now like someone else mentioned-they roll their eyes and head for the den....First and foremost, i am a mother first, and recently when He and I moved our 'thing ' out of just the sexual arena folks here let me know that was fine in bdsm world too. When they were little-absolutely find another family to swap babysitting with-you don't have to be close friends at first-most parents are pretty happy to trade-just know them well enough to trust them and start slow-a couple hours to begin. When your kids get home they'll tell you everything you need to know about what went on. We rely on the day time hours for the really noisy stuff.....we're lucky to be able to arrange that. Creativity is your friend- i recently wore rubber bands twisted around my nipples in my bra...i'd prefer not to experience the hot spoon thing-but it does sound good! ice cubes, butt plugs, personally, as a twisted being, i really enjoy the look that promises a punishment in the future, and i also wriggle at "don't dare make a peep"! crap. now i'm yearning myself....

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RE: How does one... - 5/3/2011 4:13:49 PM

ashjor911

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A child who see or her his/her mother got spanked or whiped, can stick it his mind for ever,...... from personal experiance,
even if a child come to his parents room whiel having normal sex can be very hard to get it out of his memory,
I would recommend child care or even a nany, you can get one when you go out why dont you use a nanny when you have to play, just saying.

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RE: How does one... - 5/3/2011 4:18:05 PM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

even if a child come to his parents room whiel having normal sex can be very hard to get it out of his memory,

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Post #: 19

RE: How does one... - 5/3/2011 5:40:43 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Doors have locks for a reason. There is no excuse for not using them.

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