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Round Robin - 4/7/2011 5:57:11 PM   
OriginallyFromLA


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline 		I'd like some opinions on the following situations. I'm not saying one is wrong or one is right. Jut looking for points of view.

#1 Joe Domly and Suzy Submissive have the afternoon to play. Suzy Likes it rough. After some pleasantries, Joe grabs Suzy and puts her over his knee because she's been very bad and needs a spanking. After reddening her ass sufficiently he gets up abruptly knocking her to the floor. Joe grabs suzy's hair and drags her from room to room slamming her into the walls when she makes it to her feet, stopping to giver her a good throat fucking and ass fucking all the while telling her what a good little slut she is and how happy he is that she takes such good care of her hair because he loves to drag her by it. He tells suzy how proud he is that she can take his cock wothout gagging and loves how her ass feels when he is ball deep in it. Everything he says he says with the tone of a proud father praising his daughter for doing something good

#2 Joe Domly and Suzy Submissive have the afternoon to play. Suzy likes it rough. After some pleasantries, Joe grabs Suzy and puts her over his knee because she's been very bad and needs a spanking. After reddening her ass sufficiently he gets up abruptly knocking her to the floor. Joe grabs suzy's hair and drags her from room to room slamming her into the walls when she makes it to her feet, stopping to giver her a good throat fucking and ass fucking all the while telling her what a worthless little slut she is and how pissed off he is that she takes such terrible care of her hair because he loves to drag her by it and it's falling out in his hand. He calls Suzy a worthless slut that has no value unless his cock's inside her and to hold still while he gives her some value, you fucking usless skank. Everything he says he says with the tone of utter disgust and revulsion.

#3-#4 switch the scenes. everything is the same except for the tone of voice is swapped. So while the words of praise are being said, they are said with the tone of disgust and revulsion, and vice versa.



What's the difference for you? Why are you ok with one and not the other, neither, both?



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Love IS pain, Highness. Anyone that says different is selling something.-Dread Pirate Roberts
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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 6:02:13 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm "OK" with all 4 scenarios. What would make me either "OK" with it or not would be the actual meaning of those transactions within the relationship and their actual outcomes. What you have described are simply factual situations but they may be interpreted and experienced in a vast number of ways.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OriginallyFromLA)
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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 6:32:32 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		I'm not into humiliation at all. So any of the scenes with degradation/humiliation is a no-no for me.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 6:50:07 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm ok with all depending on his mood, my mood, place, time, etc...neither one is right or wrong for us. It's one of those "it depends" questions.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 6:56:43 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		The physical of what you described is nice. The words work better for me if they're said in a caring way.
If he chose to say them with disgust, I'd deal with it, but I'd be sad and confused.
I do much better mentally thinking that he likes me.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 7:49:13 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		As a Domme my words are often soft and my actions rough. I can get loud and angry but I don't like to. On the other hand last night I caught a rather evil backhand for something I said in the wrong tone from someone whose words and action are the same(rough) I don't have to problem with any of the above scenarios because as with everything else desire for action varies from person to person.


~~~Why hide it.Why fight it.This is who I am.Now show me who you are~~~

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 8:12:15 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		It's not my call.  Whatever Joe and Suzy agree on is fine by me.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 8:44:45 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		The spanking/ass/hair/fucking parts are nice, but I have to draw the line at slamming into walls, and take it easy on the disc that's about to rupture in my neck. Some of us are getting older, ya know. I'm not into the verbal degradation thing at all, but if he gets off on saying them, then I can play along, unless I'm just in one of those moods where I really want to hear nice words.

To answer the question, topic of words bad, words tone good. I need to be at least halfway appreciated.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/7/2011 10:33:20 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		As described by others above, it all depends on individuals, their relationship, and the limits they have established in advance.  


To add another question......if the sub likes it rough and (presumably) enjoys this play then why does she have to be bad to get what she enjoys?  I like it rough and find such excuses for play distract from it for me.  

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 12:09:52 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

trash/treasure - personally, all of those could be hot or not depending on the circumstances but in any event, none of it is a limit, so it is what it is whether I enjoy it or not. I knew what the job was when I took it.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 12:18:57 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		As long as Suzy is grooving, who am I to say a thing?

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 12:25:52 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

As described by others above, it all depends on individuals, their relationship, and the limits they have established in advance.  


To add another question......if the sub likes it rough and (presumably) enjoys this play then why does she have to be bad to get what she enjoys? I like it rough and find such excuses for play distract from it for me.  



Exactly. If she likes pain play, she should just be able to get it. Or have to be good, to get it (if you want to have a reward/punishment dynamic). But not be bad, to get something good.


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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 4:47:56 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I can play it pretty much either way. Humiliation is possible to do while at the same time letting her know you care about her. Something like: "You know you are a fucking slut, you can't help it, you need this. Don't you? (She nods or says yes)....I'm going to give you what you need if you are a good girl, slut. Obey me and I'll take good care of you."

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 4:56:01 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Why am I banging her into walls?

"Everything he says he says with the tone of a proud father praising his daughter for doing something good."

fucking creepy.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 5:20:44 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		No humiliation or degradation here. I'm also not okay with being slammed into walls, too much risk of a concussion. Since I have kids who play contact sports, with helmets, I'm aware of the risk of head injuries.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 9:05:11 AM   
preytolife


Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline 		Personally, I don't like any of the scenes. I don't have any particular objection to them however as long as the people involved enjoy it during and afterwards.

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 11:07:14 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		if i were suzy (and in a way i am) apart from the wall slamming i'd be happy with any of the situations. my playmate and i switch between states or stay D/s within a session of play and we are both ok with that. it's all about communication between said parties beforehand. my pm knows exactly what i like and what my limits are. he knows what permission he has and for what, he also knows he can push my limits and we both know that if either one of us says stop, that is what happens.

needles

(in reply to preytolife)
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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 12:23:46 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Why am I banging her into walls?

"Everything he says he says with the tone of a proud father praising his daughter for doing something good."

fucking creepy.


Very.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I'm "OK" with all 4 scenarios. What would make me either "OK" with it or not would be the actual meaning of those transactions within the relationship and their actual outcomes. What you have described are simply factual situations but they may be interpreted and experienced in a vast number of ways.


Agreed.


Humiliation is tricky. You can permanently harm someone when you intended no harm at all. The psyche does not, after all, heal as quickly as the body.

Some people love and crave humiliation and can not get enough of it. For others any kind of humiliation is a hard limit. The answer to why that is, I believe, is embedded so deeply in the individual psyche that it may never be unearthed. I'm not sure it has to be. Although I am all for self discovery and enlightenment, one thing I've leaned is that there are things about what makes me tick sexually and emotionally that I will never know or understand. At this stage in my life, I'm good with that.

Some believe that those who enjoy humiliation have self esteem issues. I think it very much depends on the humiliation, and the context used within the couple's dynamic.

Some people really enjoy and seem to need having their psyche broken down; it's cathartic for them. While I understand this, I will hasten to add that what the Dom breaks down must be rebuilt. None of these "situations" include any kind of aftercare. An intense session of any kind should include appropriate aftercare, IMO.



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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 12:37:23 PM   
submitting4U


Posts: 64
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		I am careful who I play with having been seriously hurt by either inexperienced players or folks who could not control their temper. So, I have incurred a broken foot, kidney contusion/hematoma, and severely bruised testicles requiring an ultrasound ... so slamming into the walls is too risky ... otherwise, no consensual play is wrong per se! i play extreme all the time, we just need the right partners ...

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RE: Round Robin - 4/8/2011 1:21:59 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		The scenario is hot, but sorry, I cannot relate to anyone who does not take care of their hair.

So, that part of the wording would ring false.

(in reply to submitting4U)
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