RE: Stood up (Full Version)

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porcelaine -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 7:34:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's apparent to everyone that you're not a master, you are your wife's sub and she's agreed to find another female sub who you can have sex with. And you're lying to everyone you talk to by claiming you are going to be in charge of the relationship. They're getting a sense that what you say isn't what's really going on and that's why they won't meet you. Because you give off red flags right and left.


Well... she has a point. [;)]

Namaste,

~porcelaine



roughleather -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 9:29:20 AM)

quote:

A good number of people are going to scoff at anyone calling themselves a Master
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

It isn't the lack of experience that struck me. There's a submissive undertone in the writing. i don't know who composed it. But his personality appears very restrained. Almost deferential to her. i'd almost read it like an advertisement for one's Mistress.

Agreed.

People who call themselves "Master ..." make me want to giggle, or say "Yeah, right". If others call you "master", that means something, but calling yourself "Master" is a loser thing, like laughing at your own jokes when no one else does.

Also, the picture just screams "gay rent boy".



leadership527 -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 9:48:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Really? Fake player? It did not look like that to me but I've been wrong before. What about it seems fake?

LOL - really?

Let's be clear, "You're not a true dom" is the goto answer for about 90% of the posts on collarme. I'd say that what engendered that response is a male dominant posting. There doesn't need to be much more than that.



windchymes -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 9:53:59 AM)

Another possibility is that maybe you're making plans to meet people while they're in the "heat of the moment" so to speak, but the moment has "passed" by meeting time, so it's easier for them to just not show up.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 10:09:58 AM)

Regarding the scheduling 3 people in one day, you might be surprised at how many submissives (especially local ones) network. I can see the conversations now:

Susie: "I'm so excited! I have a date to meet a really great couple! They sound like so much fun, and wow - are they HOT!"

Sammy: "Hey, me too! What a coincedence, I was just talking to Sally and she's meeting a great couple too. Aren't we lucky."

Susie: "No kidding! We are meeting at Schmucknbucks for coffee."

Sammy: "Seriously? Me too. Around 3. Sally said she was meeting her couple around 5."

Susie: "This is getting weird...what's the name of your couple?"

..................................THOSE FUCKERS! (said in unison)

ETA: Not saying it is wrong to meet several people while searching, but most people want to feel a little time and energy is being focused on them during the getting to know each other stage. Meeting 3 in one day, comes off as either desperate or Pro scheduling.



porcelaine -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 10:31:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

Also, the picture just screams "gay rent boy".


i was speaking from a writer's perspective in my remarks. That's merely the voice that stood out for me and i'm pretty familiar with how it sounds in both sexes. But perhaps i'm incorrect. It's always a possibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Regarding the scheduling 3 people in one day, you might be surprised at how many submissives (especially local ones) network. I can see the conversations now:


I admit that we talk. However, i don't think that would be the sole reason for their decision to stand him up. i've found that woman can hear a whole heap of negative press and still go forward with the individual because she's emotionally invested or tells herself that was merely "their" experience. In many instances the other person isn't telling you anything you didn't already suspect.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 5:28:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

I admit that we talk. However, i don't think that would be the sole reason for their decision to stand him up. i've found that woman can hear a whole heap of negative press and still go forward with the individual because she's emotionally invested or tells herself that was merely "their" experience. In many instances the other person isn't telling you anything you didn't already suspect.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Too very true. Many individuals will do what they want, despite all voice of reason. Although, I know many who use common sense and pay attention to the warning signs and negative press. There's a great deal to be said for making your own judgements about a person, and not being led around by gossip, so I can't say that negative press alone is a reason for anyone to decide not to meet another. Blah! I could go on and on about this particular subject but, I won't!

I doubt there is one singular reason for a pattern of being stood up. More than likely there are several different reasons. Without talking to the people who stood them up, it is all speculation.

Still think the whole scheduling 3 meetings in one day isn't a very good idea, and if I personally found out that someone I was meeting had 2 other dates lined up in the same day, I'd probably lose interest in meeting them. One of my biggest turnoffs, when I was looking, was feeling as if all the other party wanted was a submissive (bottom)- and it didn't really matter WHO that submissive or bottom was, anyone would do.



DarkSteven -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 5:40:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Regarding the scheduling 3 people in one day, you might be surprised at how many submissives (especially local ones) network. I can see the conversations now:

Susie: "I'm so excited! I have a date to meet a really great couple! They sound like so much fun, and wow - are they HOT!"

Sammy: "Hey, me too! What a coincedence, I was just talking to Sally and she's meeting a great couple too. Aren't we lucky."

Susie: "No kidding! We are meeting at Schmucknbucks for coffee."

Sammy: "Seriously? Me too. Around 3. Sally said she was meeting her couple around 5."

Susie: "This is getting weird...what's the name of your couple?"

..................................THOSE FUCKERS! (said in unison)

ETA: Not saying it is wrong to meet several people while searching, but most people want to feel a little time and energy is being focused on them during the getting to know each other stage. Meeting 3 in one day, comes off as either desperate or Pro scheduling.


*Snicker*  Reminds me of the scene in The Three Musketeers where D'Artagnan schedules three duels back-to-back...



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 5:42:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

*Snicker*  Reminds me of the scene in The Three Musketeers where D'Artagnan schedules three duels back-to-back...



That's IT! [:D] That scene was nagging at me, but I couldn't remember what it was from.

Priceless.



DarkSteven -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 5:49:31 PM)

I finish your thoughts.  As if you needed more proof that the two of us are soulmates....



porcelaine -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 6:05:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Too very true. Many individuals will do what they want, despite all voice of reason. Although, I know many who use common sense and pay attention to the warning signs and negative press. There's a great deal to be said for making your own judgements about a person, and not being led around by gossip, so I can't say that negative press alone is a reason for anyone to decide not to meet another.


i'll be honest and admit it depends on the person giving the advice. If she's a head case it's probable that i won't listen completely, but will file the information away for future reference. i also take into consideration the differences in personality, lifestyle, and temperament. These can include a wide range of experiences that don't necessarily paint the other party in the negative, but when taking the other factors into consideration it may cast a bad glance in his direction.

quote:

Still think the whole scheduling 3 meetings in one day isn't a very good idea, and if I personally found out that someone I was meeting had 2 other dates lined up in the same day, I'd probably lose interest in meeting them.


i've never believed that i'm the only person that a man is conversing with. i wouldn't be put off and hold no expectation that he will segregate himself without a determination of our status and a solidification of the connection. The initial meeting is merely that and holds no guarantee for either party. The scheduling noted may be convenient for him. i wouldn't expect someone to monopolize his calendar with these things. It isn't effective time management in my opinion.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



hausboy -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 6:11:17 PM)

I admit that I've not had a blind "date" stand me up yet..... but I had a few that I kinda wish they had in hindsight....



GhitaAmati -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 9:30:31 PM)

I got stood up a few weeks ago. It really bummed me out actually..for quite a while. I still cant figure it out.

I mean, Im cute, Im cheap, Im easy...what guy in his right mind would stand me up?

I came here to CollarMe and posted about it to get advice too and figure out why.

Basically everyone here says the guy was just a wuss and whacked. Either that or I came off too strong and intimidated him.

as for you, chicks like for things to make sense and feel comfortable. too much about your profile just doesnt sit quite right with the things youve said in the forum. be consistant and be willing to take your time letting chicks become comfortable with you. sometimes just ONE coffee date isnt enough.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 10:04:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

i've never believed that i'm the only person that a man is conversing with. i wouldn't be put off and hold no expectation that he will segregate himself without a determination of our status and a solidification of the connection. The initial meeting is merely that and holds no guarantee for either party. The scheduling noted may be convenient for him. i wouldn't expect someone to monopolize his calendar with these things. It isn't effective time management in my opinion.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



I know that it isn't realistic to expect to be the only person another is talking to when you are in the getting to know each other stage, but I honestly find such a situation, where the person I am talking to is chatting up several other people at the same time, distasteful.

Everything you say makes sense, and appeals to my overly developed sense of logic and reason - but when I find out that someone I am getting involved with enough to meet with has a lot of baited hooks in the water, I just lose interest.

Probably the big disconnect here, is I'm a private and reclusive person for the most part; so it takes a lot for me to get interested enough in a person to want to meet them - whereas I know that many are out there meeting a lot of people often, and so the expectations are very different.



porcelaine -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 10:48:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I know that it isn't realistic to expect to be the only person another is talking to when you are in the getting to know each other stage, but I honestly find such a situation, where the person I am talking to is chatting up several other people at the same time, distasteful.


i understand where you're coming from. i've thrown my eggs in one basket on two occasions and it paid off in spades. But those girls were the exception, not the rule. i will never meet anyone like them again. It was a different time and place and it took me a long time to accept that.

But i learned a lot and i'm able to tell pretty early on where a person is in the situation. i suppose that's where experience comes in. It's difficult for me to discount others because i'm banking on something that has so many possibilities of never coming to pass. i'm a sooner rather than later kind of person. And no matter how much i may enjoy that person's company, i know it is temporary. i won't allow myself to think otherwise until there's a definite reason to do so.

quote:

Everything you say makes sense, and appeals to my overly developed sense of logic and reason - but when I find out that someone I am getting involved with enough to meet with has a lot of baited hooks in the water, I just lose interest.


i look at that from two vantage points. The individual may meet them all and find they're not to his liking. Perhaps you would have been had you chosen to attend. One never knows.

quote:

Probably the big disconnect here, is I'm a private and reclusive person for the most part; so it takes a lot for me to get interested enough in a person to want to meet them - whereas I know that many are out there meeting a lot of people often, and so the expectations are very different.


i don't do that anymore. There are those i've had a connection with for some time that i'm planning to meet. But random men for the heck of it? No. Just because i can fly at will doesn't mean i should. i exercise discernment in my selections and generally have a pretty good idea how things will go before meeting. As for expectations, there are none. Things change as do people. I'm generally more surprised when that doesn't occur.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



MsLadySue -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 11:28:31 PM)

My first thought from having viewed the profile pictures is you are both submissives. I did not get any inkling that your wife is dominant.



Killerangel -> RE: Stood up (4/2/2011 12:46:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

My first thought from having viewed the profile pictures is you are both submissives. I did not get any inkling that your wife is dominant.


Me either.



IrishMist -> RE: Stood up (4/2/2011 1:10:38 AM)

quote:

*Snicker* Reminds me of the scene in The Three Musketeers where D'Artagnan schedules three duels back-to-back...

that was quite funny, was it not? [:D]



SailingBum -> RE: Stood up (4/2/2011 5:22:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

I got stood up a few weeks ago. It really bummed me out actually..for quite a while. I still cant figure it out.

I mean, Im cute, Im cheap, Im easy...what guy in his right mind would stand me up?

I came here to CollarMe and posted about it to get advice too and figure out why.

Basically everyone here says the guy was just a wuss and whacked. Either that or I came off too strong and intimidated him.

as for you, chicks like for things to make sense and feel comfortable. too much about your profile just doesnt sit quite right with the things youve said in the forum. be consistant and be willing to take your time letting chicks become comfortable with you. sometimes just ONE coffee date isnt enough.



From a mans point of view what guy in their right mind wants to spend time building a relationship with what we called back in in school a "slut" It sounds like you will sleep with anything. What guy wants the "pass around bitch"?

Sheesh BadOne



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