RE: Stood up (Full Version)

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Arturas -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 4:36:37 PM)

Sounds great. You know, the fact is since you are getting nibbles and attention then you are way ahead of most and perhaps your profile is just fine and you are just having a run of bad luck. It's easy to second guess yourself in a bad luck situation and get herded into making unneeded changes especially if it is already getting you contacts even if the ones so far have been no shows, you know? Because after tinkering with your profile you might end up not even getting an email.



MasterCain71 -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 4:38:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71

Ok. Time to re write the profile. At first she was doing this as a Pro Domme. With the economy being what it is she decided to do this just for fun. I've never done anything. I don't count playing with my wife. These comments are going to help a great deal. Thank you all for the input.

Might want to check the math on your 31 year old wife having 16 years of experience as well.  I'm really surprised that anybody doing this thing for that long would let you put remarks in your profile to make you look foolish.  Unless she's specifically wanting you to fall on your face.




She's been doing it since she was a teen and she just turned 32 yesterday.



LadyPact -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 4:44:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71
She's been doing it since she was a teen and she just turned 32 yesterday.

"Doing" what, exactly?  Was she one of those few who were in charge of their own house at that age?  With submissives under her?  She must have been way ahead of her time that she wasn't living in her parents home and getting real time experience in places that have a minimum age requirement.  That might be something you want to include in the profile revision also, or folks will think it was silly chat room stuff.



Arturas -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 4:44:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71

Ok. Time to re write the profile. At first she was doing this as a Pro Domme. With the economy being what it is she decided to do this just for fun. I've never done anything. I don't count playing with my wife. These comments are going to help a great deal. Thank you all for the input.

Might want to check the math on your 31 year old wife having 16 years of experience as well.  I'm really surprised that anybody doing this thing for that long would let you put remarks in your profile to make you look foolish.  Unless she's specifically wanting you to fall on your face.




She's been doing it since she was a teen and she just turned 32 yesterday.



Yeah, it seemed Ok to me. I've been into things since that early in my life too. Their mothers used to all me an "early bloomer" or some shit and kept their daughters away from me until they learned to crawl out their windows at night, you know?



ModTwentyOne -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 4:53:21 PM)

We are not going to discuss anyone doing anything before they were age 18, thank you.




DarkSteven -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 5:13:38 PM)

Your second journal entry seems to equate play partners with paying clients.  That confused me.

Also, you had THREE first meetings scheduled in ONE DAY?  Why are you moving so fast?  Sounds like you're trying to meet people before a real connection is made.



porcelaine -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 5:21:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Might want to check the math on your 31 year old wife having 16 years of experience as well.  I'm really surprised that anybody doing this thing for that long would let you put remarks in your profile to make you look foolish.  Unless she's specifically wanting you to fall on your face.


i'm sorry, i don't buy the numbers mentioned. That's an abysmal track record for someone with that length of experience. The nose knows. And when you really have time under your feet it's far harder to fall for the things you've mentioned. There may be a fluke or two. But a continual string? Assuming the numbers are genuine i'd sincerely question someone's discernment in this pairing.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



angelikaJ -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 5:44:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71

Ok. Time to re write the profile. At first she was doing this as a Pro Domme. With the economy being what it is she decided to do this just for fun. I've never done anything. I don't count playing with my wife. These comments are going to help a great deal. Thank you all for the input.


The money comment was written a week ago or so. I doubt things suddenly changed.
You might want to settle on one story and stick with it.

The other thing, met\eting 3 people in one day, setting up meetings that way, it would not be surprising that perhaps you are giving off the vibe of being a player even if the other meetings aren't being mentioned in your scheduling discussions.

If on the other hand they were, I can see people getting second thoughts.

Since your wife is experienced and you are not, who is handling the majority of the discussions?
Maybe she needs to do more of the interactions.

Or maybe you are just rushing things... or give off a bad vibe and people change their minds.

The numerous inconsistencies would bother me, and cause me to second guess the wisdom of a meet.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 5:50:20 PM)

Okay, a couple of thoughts.

First: I agree with the person who said that you sound like a sub.  Your journal talks almost exclusively about how you love getting fucked by your wife, and about the pain that her strap-on inflicted upon you.  Yeah, that sounds real Domly.  [8|]

Second:  Three meetings scheduled in one day sounds like a bit much.  Perhaps that's why people aren't showing up.  Perhaps if you slowed down and improved your vetting process, you might improve your success rate.  Take your time.  Get to know the prospective subs.

Third:  Despite what others have said, in my opinion it's not unusual for people to fail to show up at meetings.  Particularly people that you "met" on the internet.  There are far too many people on-line who fantasize about BDSM, but they just don't have the courage to get out their and make their dreams a reality.  This is particularly true of male subs.  I always tell other male subs that 90% of the battle is just showing up.

Get involved with your local BDSM community.  Meet people at munches and play parties.  You'll have a lot more success.

BTW, you sound like a Domme/sub couple to me.  If that's what you are, don't be ashamed of that.  Sounds like you've already got everything you need.  Why ruin a good thing by bringing new people into the dynamic?



SomethingCatchy -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 7:18:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71

We've been to a few munches and a couple of play parties and still nothing. I really just want to know why people say they will meet us and never show. We got stood up 3 times in one day.


I've never stood anyone up, but I have cancelled last minute because I just decided I didn't want anything to do with them. The reasons are different, but boils down to a lack of interest in their manners/personality/what they bring to the table.



DomImus -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 7:31:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Might want to check the math on your 31 year old wife having 16 years of experience as well.  I'm really surprised that anybody doing this thing for that long would let you put remarks in your profile to make you look foolish.  Unless she's specifically wanting you to fall on your face.


Maybe you're just a late bloomer. I'm 50 and if I posted (accurately) the number of years I've been tying girls up in one fashion or another it would probably constitute a TOS violation of some sort.



mysouldesire -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 7:48:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCain71

Ok. Time to re write the profile. At first she was doing this as a Pro Domme. With the economy being what it is she decided to do this just for fun. I've never done anything. I don't count playing with my wife. These comments are going to help a great deal. Thank you all for the input.



Definately have her rewrite hers....... when a male "dominant" acknowledges the leader of the pack/couple, what sort of "dom" is he. This too is confusing.

If you have been primarily speaking with potential plays "things", the potential play"thing" might realize, oh wait, it is her not him I will be serving and nerves out. I know I would.

Be a man and state you are not your wife's play "thing" and that you are not the dom you say you are.......it takes a dom to be a dom.

And your friends list.......... well your wife's...... not one of them have been a meet? Try erasing un"used" play "things" that say they are freinds but really are not.

I'm in a nonpowdering mood tonight, am saying it straight, like I usually do.



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 8:02:52 PM)

My protection to being stood up, which has only happened once, is make them come to me. Meet at the mall. If they show up, they do; if they don't, I go shopping. Nothing gained or lost.
It's probably no consolation to you though. I intensely dislike people flaking, instead of saying, I'm not coming; but that isn't helpful to you, I'm sorry to say. M



ResidentSadist -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 8:10:05 PM)

To the OP:
In all my years, I have rarely had a no show.  My personal level of sincerity allows me to detect theirs so it acts as a good filter.

If your advertised motivation is "Where are all the serious people? We need to make some money". . . and you are doing a yahoo mail redirect like so many scammers do, I imagine no one thinks you are interested in them, just their purse/wallet.  You will reap what you sew and fickle and fleeting audience will be all you get. 

Perhaps you need to do some self examination and position yourself and your profiles like service contractors and sell yourself a bit.  Try attracting customers and do something that makes them interested in what you have to offer instead of presenting nothing as you do now.  I know that if I thought I wasn't of any consequence, it is only my money you seek and you offer nothing for it, I wouldn't meet you either.



hausboy -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 8:37:55 PM)

MasterCain

Here's my advice:  don't give up.

My Sir contacts subs/boys/bottoms online regularly........and gets contacted by much of the same....and they set up meetings and playdates.  About 10% actually show--and that number is probably high for him.    Some get cold feet last minute.  Some get scared when they realize it's a live person about to meet them, and not an online fantasy.  Some just disappear, and never email again.  Sir responded to my ad--we exchanged emails for a bit--and I showed up.  I've been visiting and serving his Household now for almost 2 years.

The ones who lack the basic courtesy to tell you that they turned tail and aren't coming....aren't worth your time anyway.  The ones who are serious--who take as much time to get to know you as you them--the ones that show up--those are the keepers.




Killerangel -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 9:22:28 PM)

In general I'd say that lots of people have second thoughts and that could be what you're running into.
For myself, I've never had a no show from here.
In regards to you specifically, I'd have to say that you present a mighty confusing package in your profile and you might have some problems with the no shows because of that. Everything that I found strange or confusing in your profile has been mentioned already so I won't reiterate it, but look over the posts you've already received.

My impression...neither one of you seems like you know what you're doing, there's nothing wrong with that but when you portray yourselves as having some kind of experience it doesn't add up. I'm not trying to be rude, just giving you my gut reaction so you might find an answer to your problem. For me, things dont add up in your profile as to what you are presenting yourselves as.

As a woman, there's no way I'd put myself in an intimate situation with 2 people that I wasn't absolutely sure about, especially if I were submitting. Be up front and honest and you might find that people will be more willing to take a chance.



Palliata -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 10:37:44 PM)

Ok in response to all those criticizing the profile (which is valid criticism, incidentally), why would people get as far as setting up a meeting before breaking things off if their problem is with is written in his profile?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 10:58:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

Ok in response to all those criticizing the profile (which is valid criticism, incidentally), why would people get as far as setting up a meeting before breaking things off if their problem is with is written in his profile?

Because a fantasist isn't bothered by the fact that they're talking to someone whose profile makes it clear they're also a fantasist, but that doesn't mean they've ever got any intention of meeting up, while people who *would* meet up skip straight past the profile, because to them it matters - the person they're going to meet can't be a fantasist.



SailingBum -> RE: Stood up (3/31/2011 11:57:00 PM)

Nothing for nothing...my guess is something is jacked up in both your approach and your selection process. REALLY I can't imagine being stood up 6 outta 6 times. That's some of the lamest... ehh nevermind. Guinness might be interested in this for the 2 most inept ppl online. Jeez even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.

My advice remember you asked move to RL. Since you suck at online.

Good luck BadOne



DesFIP -> RE: Stood up (4/1/2011 6:45:20 AM)

It's apparent to everyone that you're not a master, you are your wife's sub and she's agreed to find another female sub who you can have sex with. And you're lying to everyone you talk to by claiming you are going to be in charge of the relationship. They're getting a sense that what you say isn't what's really going on and that's why they won't meet you. Because you give off red flags right and left.



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