Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (Full Version)

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LDVixen -> Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 1:45:50 PM)

Sir loves to say things just to get me riled and worried. We were going through a box of donated veggies for my friend's tortoises when he came upon 5 pounds of jalapenos. "Oooh, good, peppers. Drop your jeans, I want to fig you with one."

I froze in horror and said, "Wow. Time out. That's probably not safe." He laughed and asked if he had asked for my opinion and why were my jeans still fastened.

I unfastened my jeans and lowered them, then followed suit with my panties, bending over the edge of the kitchen table as he indicated, wondering what he was going to do when I yelped out my safe word before he could insert any chili peppers into my ass. Thankfully, he only gave me a few hard swats with his hand, told me to mind the next time he asked me to do something, then went back to sorting veggies.

Those damn peppers are still in the house, I can't wait to throw them away. (Unless anyone local to the Sylmar area has an urge to make salsa, in which case, I suggest you speak up before I toss the temptation. I'd rather have my ass blistered than have blisters on my ass if you get my meaning.)



Palliata -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:02:07 PM)

I did a bit of research, and it seems like it wouldn't do real damage in small doses. You can get it in your eyes and it doesn't blind you, so the vagina can't be much worse. I wouldn't douse anyone in it, but a little bit of the oil on your fingers would probably be ok. It would hurt like hell, don't mistake me, but I doubt it would do long-term damage. Just keep milk around to neutralize it if things get out of hand. Might be entertaining.



DarkSteven -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:19:38 PM)

Who's talking vaginal?  With a reference to figging, he was threatening to insert it anally.  I assume it's more sensitive in back.



Palliata -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:28:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Who's talking vaginal?  With a reference to figging, he was threatening to insert it anally.  I assume it's more sensitive in back.


Regardless, the potential for damage shouldn't change. Might hurt more, but isn't that kind of the point?

I know people use capsaicin cream for lube, with the dom wearing a condom to avoid contact, and the only difference would be concentration. If you used only a little of something concentrated like pepper oil, you wouldn't harm anyone. Painful, no doubt, but nothing dangerous.

EDIT: realized that one sentence made no sense whatsoever



LDVixen -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:33:54 PM)

He was indeed threatening to insert it anally. Or I suppose not threatening, simply pondering out loud to watch me clench my ass cheeks in dismay?


I've had tiger balm used on me before. Nasty stinging stuff, but not nearly ouchy enough when I'm in full blown pms mode. I ended up in the hospital using tiger balm. I managed to smear the stuff inside my urethra where it caused/created/something a bladder infection that I ignored. I thought it was simply cramps until it escalated into a kidney infection complete with fever, chills, pain on the side with my kidney. (just have one)

Two days in the hospital with an IV pumping in antibiotics was something I prefer to skip in the future. My primary care doctor scolded me something awful for not coming to see her at the first sign of the bladder infection. (Woman would make a good Domme, she's good in the lecture dept.)

I couldn't even blame someone other than myself for being incompetent, I was single when it happened.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:43:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

You can get it in your eyes and it doesn't blind you, so the vagina can't be much worse.

You what now?

A mucous membrane not much worse than the cornea?...right. [8|]

This is why nobody should ever listen to safety advice from the internet. LDVixen has no way of telling if you're the idiot or if I am.

One of us is an idiot, though.



LDVixen -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:47:34 PM)

LDVixen has enough common sense to scream out the safe word before being figged with any jalapenos if the Dom hasn't tried it on themselves at least 24 hours before first. She assumes that anything that can cause bright red hands by chopping them without wearing gloves probably is a bad idea to use as lube on the inside of the rectum. But she knows she might just be guessing at this.

I sweetly offered to help him test it out first, he declined. Imagine that. 



Palliata -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:52:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

You can get it in your eyes and it doesn't blind you, so the vagina can't be much worse.

You what now?

A mucous membrane not much worse than the cornea?...right. [8|]

This is why nobody should ever listen to safety advice from the internet. LDVixen has no way of telling if you're the idiot or if I am.

One of us is an idiot, though.



I meant from a destructibility perspective - the chances of there being permanent damage are equivalent, which is to say extremely minimal. Obviously anything traumatic carries a risk of injury, but so does showering and I try to do that several times a year. There are numerous stories of people having gotten small amounts of the stuff in various orifices and finding it intensely painful but coming out of it undamaged wandering around the web, and no stories of any damage coming of it in any context.

Anyway, I don't think she's actually looking for advice. I was more just riffing on the subject. If anyone actually plans to carry this out, might be wise to consult a physician as with anything extreme attempted for the first time.



SailingBum -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 2:57:50 PM)

What a great idea!!! I'll have to have my bitch grow some this summer. Thinking anal sex with red hots .... "get your red hots here"

BadOne



Kaliko -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:05:31 PM)

In my other life, my ex-husband innocently forgot to wash his hands after cooking with jalapenos. His hands - not the peppers themselves, but just his hands - got between my legs and it stung for hours. Can't eat a burrito these days without clenching.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:07:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LDVixen

I sweetly offered to help him test it out first, he declined. Imagine that. 


Haha! Awesome. And I didn't mean that you weren't sensible enough to stand up for yourself, because obviously you are. [8D]

Palliata, UndergroundSea posted some stuff about mucous membranes and irritants that suggested there was a risk of permanent damage. I think it was on fetlife, though, which means I will never in a million years find it. But your cornea is considerably tougher than a mucous membrane, on account of it's designed to protect your eye.



SailingBum -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:21:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: LDVixen

I sweetly offered to help him test it out first, he declined. Imagine that. 


Haha! Awesome. And I didn't mean that you weren't sensible enough to stand up for yourself, because obviously you are. [8D]

Palliata, UndergroundSea posted some stuff about mucous membranes and irritants that suggested there was a risk of permanent damage. I think it was on fetlife, though, which means I will never in a million years find it. But your cornea is considerably tougher than a mucous membrane, on account of it's designed to protect your eye.


Dunno about that. Recently I saw a butt doc and I asked about inserting various "things" up the poop shoot and she told me that "think in terms of all the bacteria that comes out" and that will give you a idea of how resilient you rectum is"

BadOne



SailingBum -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:27:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

In my other life, my ex-husband innocently forgot to wash his hands after cooking with jalapenos. His hands - not the peppers themselves, but just his hands - got between my legs and it stung for hours. Can't eat a burrito these days without clenching.



Yep YEP that is the whole point. Similar experience cept I did it on purpose.

BadOne



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:32:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Dunno about that. Recently I saw a butt doc and I asked about inserting various "things" up the poop shoot and she told me that "think in terms of all the bacteria that comes out" and that will give you a idea of how resilient you rectum is"


Capsacin's not a bacterium, though - it's a corrosive irritant.

But hey, I'm just pixels. I'm not a valid source of safety advice, and I'm not really claiming to be one.



LDVixen -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/26/2011 3:40:58 PM)

The last thing I would want to do is find myself at the doctor's office explaining why my nether region is flaming red and painful. It was bad enough when she saw my bruised ass once. She didn't say anything other than "I assume you consented to that?" I gulped out, "Yes."

I have learned that I have a strong reaction to certain things being applied rectally. Liquid glycerin for one, please just kill me instead. Glycerin suppositories, boring, no real effects. Any type of suppository with cocoa butter causes intense cramps and burning. (Goodie, this includes the ones I use for nausea when I get over the top sinus headaches or motion sickness) Tiger balm and ginger, not comfortable but endurable. Ice is fun, not at all torture, just relaxing.

Pepper juice might in fact be one of those things I could become addicted to using when my pain tolerance is sky high due to hormones, but on the other hand, it might make for a few very uncomfortable hours. If he was seriously serious about applying it to my delicate bits, I'd have to think long and hard about it first. I wouldn't be disobedient about it, but I would also not allow him to do something I felt was unsafe or had the potential to cause something like blisters.

I try to be a good girl and mind, but I also try to use my mind for more than basic functions like telling my lungs to inhale or my heart to beat. (I've been told a few hits of bad acid or a lobotomy would rectify that situation, but I just haven't felt the need for such extreme measures yet.)



flcouple2009 -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/27/2011 11:25:31 AM)

quote:

Sir loves to say things just to get me riled and worried. ORIGINAL: LDVixen



That's the part that caught my attention and I am guessing for the most part he was just having fun with you.

But your reaction could lead to all kinds of fun.  You finding the peppers sitting next to the bed or having you tied face down on the bed and mind fucking you with some pickle slices.

But I have been told I'm just evil.



littlewonder -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/27/2011 12:25:43 PM)

If he was inserting them whole without breaking them apart first then you wouldn't have any kind of reaction from the capsican. It would have only been if he broke them apart or if one broke apart inside of you and even then I don't think it would have causes a huge reaction unless it was mashed up inside you, broken into pieces. It's mostly the seeds that hold the heat.




Hillwilliam -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/27/2011 12:44:27 PM)

Ok, for all you sneaky sadistic bastids out there I have something that is fun.

I like hot food. I mean HAWWWWWWT. Scotch bonnet peppers are My friend and Habbies are delish. If you ain't sweatin', you aint eatin'.

On your way to your s, stop off for a beer or 2 and the hottest wings you can stand.

Upon arriving at her house tell her to strip and lie back. Tie her if ya want. then go down on her.

The combination of the heat and the unexpectedness will get a NEAT reaction.



CarpeComa -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/27/2011 6:27:27 PM)

Between the avatar and the subject I am reminded of this;

Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai, and Deng Xiaoping were discussing.

Mao asks, "How do you get a cat to bite a hot pepper?"

Zhou says, "Simple.  You grab the cat, pry open its jaws, and shove the pepper in its mouth."

Mao says, "No, that is force.  We want the cat to bite the pepper of his own free will."

Deng says, "Ok, I've got it.  Hide the pepper in a piece of nice fish.  When the cat eats the fish, he will bite the pepper!"

Mao says, "No, that is trickery.  We want the cat to know he is biting the pepper."

Zhou and Deng give up, and say, "Great Helmsman, how do we get the cat to bite the hot pepper?"

Mao says, "Shove the pepper up the cat's ass.  He'll be begging you to bite it."



porcelaine -> RE: Jalapenos? Umm yikes. (3/27/2011 7:36:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LDVixen

Those damn peppers are still in the house, I can't wait to throw them away. (Unless anyone local to the Sylmar area has an urge to make salsa, in which case, I suggest you speak up before I toss the temptation. I'd rather have my ass blistered than have blisters on my ass if you get my meaning.)


Greetings,

i've never had jalapenos. But i was exposed to a medicated cream with cayenne that was absolutely horrid. It ended up in all the wrong orifices and he claimed it was accidental but laughed the entire time. And this wasn't an ouch, but a shriek filled incident that had me leaping around. Whatever the heck that was it burned like the dickens and it was everywhere, and i do mean everywhere. i had to take a cold shower for relief. But i didn't suffer any damage. Though my skin was red for a bit.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



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