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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Real life 'hookups' WORSE than online? (3/11/2011 4:47:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: expt
I have to say that when I lived in the inner city Chicago "trendy areas" as a younger guy, it absolutely stunk. I was good-looking, educated college grad, job, but meeting any ladies was impossible. And no, I didn't meet anyone at work or just bump into them. Many places in the USA, men and women are just not even getting around each other enough to do anything social together.
Hello expt, and welcome to the message boards.
I was never in Chicago as an adult and really don't know what that city is like. When I was young [;)] and lived in California, guys talked to me and asked me out when I was doing my laundry in laundromats and while I was waiting at bus stops. There were small public parks where people would take their lunch break, or just go to read a book or play chess or feed the pidgeons. I used to feed pidgeons and somehow this gave an opening to guys who wanted to talk and ask me out. Never liked the bar scenes...cig smoke, ugh. Others who lived in apartments nearby were usually married or seeing someone already, and guys at work were a very bad idea (as I learned time and time again). It seemed so easy then, in a big city with busses that went everywhere...to outdoor food stands that sold Chinese food or...mmm...carnitas. I was approached often. Guys started conversations on small things, like the fact that I eat Chinese food with chop sticks. Aren't there places like these in Chicago? Open and friendly guys caught my attention, and if they were interested but not pushy or abraisive, I gave them a chance.
In the two towns I have lived in since I moved back to WV, it's a different situation entirely. The usual people look for people in bars, but others go to church (I know several people who regularly attend half a dozen, as the meetings are on different days of the week, at different times) simply to find their next boyfriend/lover. There is almost nothing to DO...except drink, have sex, or read a book, lol. We had a country dancing place called Boot Scootin, but it closed up years ago. There are no lovely city parks with bike and jog paths, volleyball, etc. Our museum closed up.
California was more welcoming to start conversations with almost anyone, at least when I lived there. Since there is nothing fun to do here that is affordable on my budget, I have become a homebody...if I am not out walking in a park on the Virginia side of our twin city during good weather, or out fishing, I enjoy gardening, knitting, sewing, watching DVDs, and playing my gaming systems, lol. Yeah, I have an outdoor table and chairs and have invited many people over to play a board game, card game, or just picnic outside, but the majority of people will prefer their own home and playing some solitary game.
If it weren't for the internet, I would only very rarely meet up with men who live in my area. Pssst...when I went to my high school reunion, I remembered why I didn't even try to go to dances after the first one...my class was from a generation of wall flowers. Everyone stood around talking and looking uneasy and nobody danced. Ten and then twenty years later, nothing had changed. Not even the music...
I have to admit that since I got Nintendo DS, I've pretty much stopped going to the park to play checkers or chess or something like that, and when I do go, I am always with my adult handicapped son.
I miss parks with outdoor swimming pools, shuffleboard, tetherball, handball courts... Watching guys playing soccer in normal street clothes on weekends used to be fun, so was watching people play volleyball (if I was't playing) or showing off on surf boards or boogie boards, lifting weights or skating (Venice beach). I miss the easygoing atmosphere of Santa Monica Pier and all the games and arcade stuff. A lot more guys took their dogs to parks to toss a frizbee or ball...these guys seemed safe to approach and easy to talk with... I never get to see guys playing outside with their dogs. It's been 22 years and I am still waiting, lol.
As for myself, I have spring cleaning and uber yard work coming up...hats that need to be knitted (about 4 hours for each hat), quilts to finish, sewing to do, and in all of my spare time, there are DVDs of old tv series I loved and I am catching up on...and then...I am a gamer...I love playing Pokemon. I don't know what everyone else is doing, but if some of the available and single male subs in my area would go bowling...be looking to play checkers or chess at the park, or would be fishing at the dam I like to go to...um...that would be nice. If I ran into someone at the snack area at Sams, eating a slice of pizza and drinking tea or soda...who had his DS and was <insert huge gasp here> playing the game I love... (So okay, that would have to be in an alternate universe.)
Yes, expt, I wish there were more healthy, smoke free, social activities available in my town.
Btw, my sister in Texas told me several years ago that taking night classes at a college was a way people were choosing to meet other people socially. She met her ex-husband while taking one night class, and met her current significant other through some classes that her church makes available to members.
Good luck.
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