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Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 11:08:49 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I haven't been on much lately but I'm hoping that at least a. few of you will remember me. Those of you who do will probably also remember that I am not the most graceful s in the world......ok....so I'm a total klutz...and I've done it once again. Did it pretty good this time too. A few weeks ago I slipped on some icy stairs and broke my back in two places. That makes for a total of three times I've nroken it now. Fortunately.....or maybe unfortunately....my body doesn't process the pain in a normal way so I'm not TOO miserable right now.

Ok...on to the questions....

Those of you who know me know that I fimd my way to that squishy place is through very rough body play/heavy impact play. So now, if I have to look at this realisticly...which I do.....I'm rather uncertain that will be logistically possible to the same degree in the future. I want to make it clear that I am not looking for medical advice....that is what doctors are for. What I want to know is.....has anyone had to drastically alter your play style due to an injury and if so, were you successful in finding a fulfilling way to get you to that same place? I should probably also mention that things such as needles, wax, fire and electricity....while they CAN be yummy and fun....just don't get me there.

Any suggestions???

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 2/24/2011 11:15:51 AM >

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 12:25:25 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Oh and CD.... I see you up there in the list and I can assure you that the answer is NOT "eat RMOs"!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 12:31:14 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

I've no suggestion for you, just wishes for a speedy recovery!

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 12:31:18 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Welcome to growing old.... :)

I have no practical suggestions for your particular problem so much as a philosophy that I've also been forced to face....

The way life works is that if you're not dead, you ultimately find ways around setbacks/injuries/disability/permanent loss etc to carry on. They make movies of mirical cures; of determination to overcome; of sheer willpower in general etc - and mostly it's fiction (or it wouldn't be worthy of making a movie of it)

For most of us, what I'm talking about is *acceptance* of limitations forced upon you. Unpalatable words like "compromise"; of easing back on the throttle etc. It's really all you can do once you're the wrong side of 40 and your body's in decline....

Work on "acceptance". At 57, I'll never bench-press 160kgs again but I still like to lift weights.... You'll find it a lot easier to "get there" and enjoy again once you've accepted previous "personal bests" are no longer attainable. In other words, your bigger challenge to overcome is mental, not physical.

Focus.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 4

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 12:42:41 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Oh and CD.... I see you up there in the list and I can assure you that the answer is NOT "eat RMOs"!

~busts out laughing~ now how did you KNOW that I was going to suggest just that?

Seriously though...I am sending you a cmail on the other side. you are looking at an issue that has just added a ton more complexity to what it is you like to do.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 12:47:44 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Call it an educated hunch? I will watch for the mail. Thankies!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 6

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 2:39:21 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

OK - so what are RMO's?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 7

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 2:53:37 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I haven't been on much lately but I'm hoping that at least a. few of you will remember me. Those of you who do will probably also remember that I am not the most graceful s in the world......ok....so I'm a total klutz...and I've done it once again. Did it pretty good this time too. A few weeks ago I slipped on some icy stairs and broke my back in two places. That makes for a total of three times I've nroken it now. Fortunately.....or maybe unfortunately....my body doesn't process the pain in a normal way so I'm not TOO miserable right now.

Ok...on to the questions....

Those of you who know me know that I fimd my way to that squishy place is through very rough body play/heavy impact play. So now, if I have to look at this realisticly...which I do.....I'm rather uncertain that will be logistically possible to the same degree in the future. I want to make it clear that I am not looking for medical advice....that is what doctors are for. What I want to know is.....has anyone had to drastically alter your play style due to an injury and if so, were you successful in finding a fulfilling way to get you to that same place? I should probably also mention that things such as needles, wax, fire and electricity....while they CAN be yummy and fun....just don't get me there.

Any suggestions???

Of course I remember you. And I am so sorry to her about your back.
The need for rough play I understand completely. But I do know how you now feel reticent given the need for your back to heal.
My suggestions are: needle play and if you can get your head around that then cutting also.
The pain is totally different: localised but very intense and for me it seems to have the same rush as lets call it (as I have now learned from another thread): ultra violence.
Being blindfolded at the same time as needle play is divine.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 8

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 3:35:18 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

mistoferin... mmmmmm name rings a bell.... are we related somehow...our names seem similiar......

oh tough break on the back.... We grow old... we kinda accept those limitations as we know they are coming.... but those things like you are experiencing is alittle tougher as they are well.. unexpected events that force those limitations onto a person. In the end.. you do need to accept the limitation....

But as I recall.. you like the fight... primal.... I think you will have to go an an adventure on finding how you can get that fight without the unacceptable risk of harming yourself. I would suggest... you started by realigning your expectations to the level of your abilities.... and not what you had once done in the past...

mmmmmmmmmm damn you look familiar!!!! I just can't place you!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 9

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 3:45:32 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

All good advice, Mistoferin.

We all have some stuff that we cannot do or do as well as in the past, but you will figure something out.

Feel better!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 10

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 3:50:51 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I've sort of been where you are. Master is a sadist and likes to play hard but there have been times when we've had to change things due to some of my problems. Many years ago I had a breast reduction surgery which cleared up a lot of my many problems I had from having such large breasts but the top of my back has never returned to normal and instead is much more sensitive now than it ever was. Even lightly touching it even causes me to whince in pain and not in a good way <then again Master is a sadist and even any whince sometimes turns him on lol>. Most times he simply won't touch that area or he's experimented with trying to build up that area to more tolerance. Unfortunately that just doesn't seem to have worked yet. Instead he finds other areas he can hurt and there are plenty of those areas.

Then there was the time I had fallen and bruised my tailbone. I was in a lot of pain for months with that. I could barely walk let alone play. He always finds ways to hurt me in other ways though.....pinches, kicks, clamps, burns, slaps, humiliation. Ever been pinched extremely hard on the inside of your thigh or under your arms. It's excruciating!! Yeah...he gets off on those little things like that that makes me want to do bad bad things to him lol <has a feeling she's in trouble for that>.

Find those sensitive spots, find those things that really get to you, learn about pressure points.

From one major klutz to another, I hope you feel better.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 11

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 4:13:21 PM

sirssubk2008

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

OK - so what are RMO's?

^^^^^Enquiring minds want to know

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 12

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 4:34:47 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

You have not been forgotten.

Please bear with me while I explain this to you. My late husband always mourned for what once was, but was no long possible. For example, Midway Island was a magical place when I moved out there to be with him. However, word was out that the island would be closing to military dependents. Many of the former activities on the island stopped happening. Rather than enjoy the many things to offer on the island the husband sat at home on his days off. He never took us to Sand Island. He never wanted to go to the beach. He just mourned for what he could not have rather than enjoy what he did have.

At the age of 39 he had a major heart attack. He continued handling disappointments in his own way. Until the day he died he lived a depressed man because he couldn't do the things he used to do. He cut off all his friends. Even the birth of his first grandson did not bring him out of his low. He lived for 13 years, miserable and wanting to make those around him equally as miserable, all because he felt he'd been cheated of the life he wanted and should have had. He died alone and unloved, even while surrounded by those who wanted to care, but who could no longer love him.

Fast forward to the present. Gary and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary of being together as well as his 70th birthday and my 60th. He spent 7 weeks in the hospital in the past year, 3 of them in ICU. Ten years ago he was the recipient of extra time and he is amazing. He was given the gift of life with a lung transplant. He loves what he can do. He never worries about those things he can not do any longer. He is happy. He is an optimist even with his lung problems, his heart problems, as well as a new one called diabetes. As for me, well, I have lung problems in the form of COPD. There are days when I can't do what I would like to do. I have days when I feel pretty spiffy.

We live a full life. It doesn't matter that when we go visit national parks we do it mostly from the car instead of hiking. There is beauty to been seen from a car. When we golf we use a cart to get around. On days when we are both breathing challenged we enjoy quiet time while being companionable at home. Sure we'd enjoy more play time but there have been times when picking up a flogger, standing to use it, and then actually using it would have been way too difficult. It doesn't matter to me that the pain play we do might be a nipple twist instead of a whip. The important thing is that we do what we can, when we can. Life is way too short to think about anything negative at all.

So, what I'm trying to say in my own roundabout fashion is this. Finding an alternative to your heavy play is really not important and I have no magic bullet to offer to you. What is most important is your attitude and your mindset. Here is a quote that Gary taught me. We try to live each day remembering the optimism of the quote.

Quote from Edgar Guest:
Somebodys said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 13

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 4:38:05 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

OK - so what are RMO's?

^^^^^Enquiring minds want to know

Rocky Mountain Oysters?

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(in reply to sirssubk2008)

Post #: 14

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 4:57:12 PM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

Get well first, be sure you are totally recovered and speak with you doctor.

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Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 15

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 5:55:42 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i remember you from my first CM incarnation -- woooow really sorry to hear about the back! sheeeeesh.......

i totally understand the "thing" for rough body play; it can be wonderful stuff and lets you release a certain "something" that other forms of play don't always reach.
first of all, give yourself PLENTY of time to heal. heal as solidly as you can -- that'll give you a better platform to go from.
if you want to find out if you can still entertain these kinds of play, obviously start slowly.
maybe you can isolate the heavy impact to places like your thighs, that have big solid bones and a good amount of cushioning -- but stay away from the back.
what types of RBP are you fond of doing? like full on body slamming and stuff like that? obviously, things like that may not be possible anymore, but perhaps you can isolate what it is that RBP allows you to express; once you know what that is, you might be able to redirect it into other forms of play

talking to your doctor is the #1 thing you should do.

(in reply to 0ldhen)

Post #: 16

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 8:20:31 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

mistoferin... mmmmmm name rings a bell.... are we related somehow...our names seem similiar......
I
oh tough break on the back.... We grow old... we kinda accept those limitations as we know they are coming.... but those things like you are experiencing is alittle tougher as they are well.. unexpected events that force those limitations onto a person. In the end.. you do need to accept the limitation....

But as I recall.. you like the fight... primal.... I think you will have to go an an adventure on finding how you can get that fight without the unacceptable risk of harming yourself. I would suggest... you started by realigning your expectations to the level of your abilities.... and not what you had once done in the past...

mmmmmmmmmm damn you look familiar!!!! I just can't place you!!!!

LOL, you look pretty familiar too. Hmmm....

As always, I appreciate your input in such matters as I've always felt that you are one of the few here who really gets where I come from when it comes to my masochism and play style...and how integral a part of my submission it has been. Oh yes, I very much like the fight....both the external one and the internal one that sends me searching deep within myself.

This is a tough blow....even tougher now that I have consulted with a kink friendly professional who has informed me in no uncertain terms that many things I haved enjoyed for many years now are completely and forever off limits now. But I have learned well over the years how to take tough blows rather well.....so I am sure that with the knowledge of the specifics of my condition and the possible outcomes I am now better prepared to deal with it and adapt. Paralysis has never been a kink of mine so I think I will have to learn a few new tricks. Guess now I'll get to test that theory about whether or not an old dog like me can still learn a thing or two....

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 17

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 8:29:58 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Peppermint, I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that I sooooo get what you wrote. We have to play with the cards we get dealt. Folding is just not a viable option. So once the decision is made to stay in the game,the only decision I see from there is to decide if you want to play smiling or crying. I choose smiling. Lemons to lemonade and all that jazz....

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 18

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/24/2011 11:16:10 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Hugsssss....and good luck. You'll be just fine.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 19

RE: Looking for a few suggestions - 2/25/2011 12:32:13 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Huggsss erin, and very best wishes for good healing. No magic wand to wave here unfortunately, and I can understand that it must feel like a real loss to not be able to play in ways that excites you. Allow yourself some time to grieve that but making sure you don't wallow in that space. I know you have some great friends around who won't let that happen. Then, as others have said, turn your focus on what you CAN do, not what you can't and hopefully over time your brain will adapt and learn to give you a good buzz from that instead.

Wishing you (and your Sir for there will be adjustment needed all round) all the very best
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 20

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