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ORIGINAL: SourandSweet

I know this is a tad off topic, but as a sub I thought I'd share my thoughts on this (I'll try and be brief!).  I'm not sure what experiences of this you've seen so I may be talking tosh here!  We're non-scene, so this is probably nothing like what you're referring to.  However, in my experience, not just personal, but also communicating with various long-term d/s friends etc, it seems that many subs are (to varying degrees) manipulative by nature.  I count myself in that.

One reason I've committed so deeply to my dom is that he knows I'm manipulative.  He knows when I'm being manipulative.  If I get away with it it's because he allows it - for whatever reason.  It may be that it amuses him, it may be that he's feeling indulgent, it may be that it's regarding something he was going to allow anyway.  Now, to an outsider who didn't see our day-to-day life, but only saw one of those occasional snippets they could interpret that as me topping from the bottom.  I'm not indicating that you're statistics are wrong, merely that unless you know the private dynamic (what goes on behind closed doors sort of thing) you can't be sure that this is the case.

Further, I find, as I'm sure you'll agree, the majority of subs are strong-willed, intelligent women who, if they so chose would be perfectly capable of surving without a dom, and would do so successfully.  I actually think that if he didn't give me the illusion of very occasionally getting my own way I would feel quite claustrophobic.  It's a bit of an emotional safety valve.  We both know it's only because he's allowing it to happen, but it still makes my manipulative side content.  However, contrary to this, if my manipulations were succeeding because he didn't recognise them, was blind to them, that would be a very different matter.  We're complicated creatures us subs!

:-)

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ORIGINAL: golemx

I'm getting back into this wonderful experience after taking a few years break to focus on starting a family. I've got quite a bit of personal experience (including a lot of reading) but never really been part of a "community" before. Here's a question I've always wondered about...

Are there more tops/bottoms? If you had to divide the male BDSM community would you find a 50/50 split on top/bottom? How about the female?

There's no point to this question other than speculation and idle conversation. Apologies if this is a common question...