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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/4/2011 4:33:18 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I don't have a 'type' that I am attracted to. In all honestt I can say that each person I meet is unique. Because of course every person is uniqie.
I've sometimes had this quiet fantasy of holding a party and sending out an invite to veryone in the lifestyle that I have met. Now it wouldn't be so many to be honest as I don't do public play or go to munches. But I would hold the party (in my head at least) to try to ascertain what qualities of a person I find attractive. If they would all get along or squabble.
I have pictures of course. But what overrides those pictures/qualities is the process of instant attraction.
That I experience as a kind of magnetic draw. And it can happen equally across a room as across an Ocean.
My questions are: have you experinced this process of attraction? If so is it instant? Does attraction need to grow? And does long term experience sustain that attraction or does it fade with time? Do you have a type? And if not what exactly then is the essence of attraction?

I'm one of those people that has to have instantaneous attraction. If it doesn't happen within the first five seconds of laying eyes on the person, then it's doomed. I've fallen in love at first sight four times in my life. The first time led to a twenty year long relationship. The next two times were when I held my daughters in my arms for the first time and the last time is hopefully the very last time for me. It's when I saw Shore for the first time. The attraction to him grows more and more the longer I am with him.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/4/2011 4:53:13 PM

Tantriqu

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Maybe instant scent vs. the hackneyed male visual once-over?

ComPLETEly theoretical and fun conjecture, but what if?
The guys I fall for have no scent to me, even after a big run, workout, sexcapades, ANYTHING. A bit of a bummer since I like a whiff of a manly man [of course a bit too much is WAY too much], but apparently it means if they don't register they are genetically foreign, and my DNA is trying to get me knocked up.
Men I am definitely not attracted to literally stink to me. Adolescent boys and old men reek like goats because they make butyric acid [like rancid butter], especially my brothers, so perhaps some built-in anti-incest protection.

And we all know how evocative the sense of smell is :-) If I type 'your grandmother's lavender perfume' or 'buttered toast' or 'period sex' [thanks, Lady Gaga!], it all elicits deep, pleasant memories based on scent, and in an instant.
I've never heard a man not date a presentable woman because of her natural scent, but I've heard plenty of women admit to it on direct questioning, and was a factor of letting go my last prospective pup.
So, perhaps women's hindbrains are faster than men's visual cortex?

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Fr

Here's an interesting scientific find,and one that many might find entirely counterintuitive . . . .

Apparently, men take five times as long to work out if they're attracted to a particular woman as vice versa.

Anyone care to offer an explanation as to why?

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/4/2011 5:40:50 PM

allthatjaz

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Brown lazy eyes, a strong chin and an angular face. I have always preferred lean fit guys to bulky big men. The voice is very important too. A deep husky but well spoken voice is hugely attractive especially if he speaks with confidence.

From the moment I met Steve I was excited by his looks and charmed by his voice and I still feel the same every single moment that I spend with him. Thank goodness he felt the same way about me.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/4/2011 7:10:38 PM

lazarus1983

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I get a twinge of attraction at just about anybody that's physically attractive. However, it's very brief, and I think more of a kneejerk reaction.

Since I got my knee surgery this past Tuesday, I've taken to randomly browsing profiles on here, and let's say I come up on a girl doing her very best Jersey Shore impression. I'll feel that initial twinge of attraction (appreciation, even?), but that will easily fade when I read their profile and see that this woman's got no claim to a brain at all. And there is nothing less attractive to me than a vapid, obnoxious, party girl.

So physically, I'll feel a pretty instant hint of attraction. But it can very easily fade when the woman reveals her intelligence, or lack thereof.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/4/2011 8:32:09 PM

Awareness

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Attraction is both instantaneous and not. Instant attraction leads to men hitting on women and sex in bathrooms. That which takes longer is responsible for the success of seduction.

Both genders are vulnerable to both kinds. There are no rules.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/5/2011 1:38:12 AM

allthatjaz

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So what about the ones who feel instant attraction, hit it off in the bathroom, move in together and then go on to get married and live in happy bliss Awareness? You can only speak for yourself but you can never analyze the other 60 billion

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/5/2011 4:24:20 AM

DomImus

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For me attraction can happen (and un-happen) in a variety of ways. I've felt that instant sense of attraction at times and have experienced "delayed attraction" to people who initially did not trip my trigger. Conversely, I have been attracted to folks on first sight only to no longer be interested in them once I got to know them a little.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/12/2011 8:40:20 PM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

So what about the ones who feel instant attraction, hit it off in the bathroom, move in together and then go on to get married and live in happy bliss Awareness? You can only speak for yourself but you can never analyze the other 60 billion

Are you developmentally challenged? Where in my post did I preclude that happening? I spoke about two different kinds of attraction.

God save me from stupid people - this is becoming monotonous.

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/13/2011 7:34:46 PM

MercTech

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The visual gets the attention but it is what's between the ears that keeps it.
And scent is the most primal of senses. Some just don't smell right.

I will admit that buxom redheads get my attention.. and usually wanting to grab my camera.

5'8" or taller gets another reaction. I've had a fantasy for decades of swing dancing with someone that is tall enough that I see more than the top of the head.

Stefan

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RE: How instant is attraction? - 2/13/2011 8:02:48 PM

LillyBoPeep

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ah man... scent is one that gets me. =p sure it's nice when a guy's got on some great cologne or something, but just his plain ordinary natural smell...
oo la la ...

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