slave training

slave training (Full Version)

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manimal2512 -> slave training (1/17/2011 12:32:26 PM)
Hi, I am a 41 year old disabled man and i am fairly new to master/slave relationships. As yet i have not managed to meet any potential slaves but when i do i would like to make sure that i get things right! Can anybody give me any tips on how to go about training a slave and ensuring that she will remain willing and happy to please me and how i can please her in return?

Focus50 -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:00:20 PM)
There's no textbook of standardised skills a slave needs to know. Basically, you teach your slave what you need her to know in order to please you and fulfill your needs. And in a healthy M/s relationship, she in turn gets her needs fulfilled through following your lead. I've gotta say that if you don't know what your needs are then you're aiming a little high in trying to begin with an M/s relationship. Especially if a 41yo has to ask what one's complementing opposite likely needs to fulfill her own needs.... And being disabled isn't largely relevant to this topic so much as to what a prospective personal slave needs to know. And I'd hate to think your disability is what's motivating you to seek a slave - ie, an unpaid personal carer? Welcome to the Forums.... Focus.

kalikshama -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:17:06 PM)
I too recommend you start with being a top or dom rather than skipping ahead to master. Check out this book or any of the others suggested on the page: http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Dominant-John-Warren/dp/1890159204 Enjoy and welcome! KK

LadyPact -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:22:41 PM)
Agreed. One doesn't master the violin before learning how to play the instrument.

sunshinemiss -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:28:24 PM)
Be a good man who a good woman would want to follow. Seriously, it's that simple.

AquaticSub -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:28:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: manimal2512 Hi, I am a 41 year old disabled man and i am fairly new to master/slave relationships. As yet i have not managed to meet any potential slaves but when i do i would like to make sure that i get things right! Can anybody give me any tips on how to go about training a slave and ensuring that she will remain willing and happy to please me and how i can please her in return? Talk to her. As much as I respect those who have posted before me, I'm going to disagree slightly. I don't think you should start as a top or a dom or anything in particular. I think you should start as two people who have connected with a matching interest in relationship dynamics. Then work together. Own the fact that you don't have experience. Learn from each other. I agree with not jumping in headfirst but I see nothing wrong with IDing as a new master who is learning as they go - just as long as the other half knows that you are learning. But then, I am firmly of the opinion that there is no graduating, no moving from one tier to the other and my opinion isn't likely to change anytime soon. So I suppose it will depend on your personal views on the matter OP. And, in the end, it's really about what works best for you and yours. I, personally, wouldn't want to wait to get into a relationship with someone who feels like he needs to graduate from top to master or whatever title. For me, a power dynamic is built gradually anyway so there is plenty of room for him to learn as he goes. It's worked for me before anyway. Valyraen had no experience whatsoever when we first become a couple. We went from boyfriend/girlfriend to owner/owned [:)]

littlewonder -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:50:41 PM)
love and care for her and everything else will fall into place. No different than any other relationship. If you're doing this via non-committment then talk and negotiate.

manimal2512 -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 1:52:49 PM)
Thanks for all your opinions it has been very interesting reading the different posts. By the way no i do not want an unpaid carer, i have lived by myself for a few years now since my last relationship (which was not a bdsm realationship of any kind, although i wouldn't have minded if it had gone that way but she was just not interested in that kind of relationship) and i do not have any problems with taking care of myself or doing anything that needs doing in the house, although some help would have been nice sometimes. As for knowing what it is that i want i think i have that covered. [:)]

osf -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 2:11:24 PM)
first you have to understand what motivates her

leadership527 -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 2:30:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Be a good man who a good woman would want to follow. Seriously, it's that simple. applause THIS. Of course, that's only simple in the same way that the game of checkers is.... 3 seconds to explain the rules and a lifetime to master the strategies.

Focus50 -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 2:51:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: manimal2512 As for knowing what it is that i want i think i have that covered. [:)] Then showing/teaching that to your sub/slave is what's called "training". If it works for her, too, that's called "compatability". How much you mean it and expect of her to comply defines the dom (or master) you are. If you set a standard you can't maintain, you're training her in something that neither of you wants.... Focus.

manimal2512 -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 3:17:06 PM)
Cheers focus50 thanks for the advice [sm=thanks.gif]

DesFIP -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 3:44:30 PM)
Think before you speak. Keep your word. Don't promise things if you aren't absolutely sure you can go through with it. Now obviously accidents happen but in general don't tell her you'll take her to the movies if you aren't sure you'll have the energy to go. And talk to each other, a lot. Make sure you're both compatible in bed and out.

Idahobulldom -> RE: slave training (1/17/2011 10:42:04 PM)
What an opening post Manimal. I think every Dom/Master on this forum could write a 100 page thesis on this topic. Here are a couple books that I would suggest you purchase and spend some time studying. SM 101 - A realistic Introduction Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns Also, there is SOOO much great information on this board. First hand information like this is hard to find. So soak up what you can and best of luck.

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 2:35:30 AM)
for me, what I need (and not in any order really. if it's not all there, then it just doesn't work for me.) is: someone who I can trust. for me this is best summed up by: doing what they say acting in my best intreats (ie: if I haven't slept all night and and have to be at work in like 5 hours, let me sleep.) keeping me whole (or at least not cutting off anything important.) someone who knows what I'm saying, not the words that are coming out of my mouth. It's not the same thing as mind reading. This is more putting body language, tone, history... and knowing that when I get scared, I need a place to feel safe. Not to be yelled at. someone who can hurt me when I need to be hurt. And hurt me enough to remove the "need" aspect from it. (there are many different types of pain.) I think that all but the last one applies to all relationships, for all parties..

DesFIP -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 5:06:13 AM)
As far as training goes, the first thing he did was show me how he likes his tea. And when I made a mistake, because I drink mine very differently, he didn't get upset, just pointed it out and had me make him a new cup. Even now, after all these years, I occasionally get distracted and forget the one teaspoon of sugar. He doesn't expect perfection so he just asks me if I put any in, and gives it back to me to add it. I'm human and therefore fallible, I don't get punished for an unintended error or for miscommunication. We work on fixing the problems instead.

DarkSteven -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 5:50:27 AM)
The only thing I'll add to what the others have written is to forget about "getting things right". You will, but not the first time. Try stuff, see what works, see what doesn't,and accept that you will stumble along the way. Just don't try breath play and advanced stuff till you have been trained for it. Start off with things like DesFIP's suggestion of tea serving.

salemartist -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 5:58:31 AM)
Is it just my imagination or is there a constant flow of men wishing to be dominant on this board asking "How to"?

DarkSteven -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 6:04:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: salemartist Is it just my imagination or is there a constant flow of men wishing to be dominant on this board asking "How to"? There is and there has always been. Also women, and men wishing to be submissive as well. That's actually what the board is here for - exchange of ideas, and learning opportunities. And snark.

kalikshama -> RE: slave training (1/18/2011 9:26:24 AM)
I find it a bit odd too. But then, I'm drawn to narcissistic types who already Know It All Already. quote: ORIGINAL: salemartist Is it just my imagination or is there a constant flow of men wishing to be dominant on this board asking "How to"?

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