Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave?

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Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/3/2011 9:36:05 PM

ramzaruglia

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/2/2011
Status: offline

Hello...

I'm a "theoretical" dom, and I just want to ask. If it's cool to have a certain intimacy to the woman/man who is submissive enough to pledge to me before I collar them?

That is all, thank you...

< Message edited by ramzaruglia -- 1/3/2011 9:49:23 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/3/2011 9:41:50 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Okay. A Domme is a woman, a Dom is a man.

What's a "theoretical" Dom/me? Never heard that one before.

The answer depends. If you think of them as a viable partner, then I would consider the sexual aspect to be part of the criteria for considering them. But if you meet him/her and are screwing his/her brains out five minutes later, followed by kicking him/her to the curb, I'd say no.

I guess my answer is that if you're serious about him/her, go ahead.

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(in reply to ramzaruglia)

Post #: 2

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/3/2011 9:49:06 PM

ramzaruglia

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/2/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Okay. A Domme is a woman, a Dom is a man.

What's a "theoretical" Dom/me? Never heard that one before.

The answer depends. If you think of them as a viable partner, then I would consider the sexual aspect to be part of the criteria for considering them. But if you meet him/her and are screwing his/her brains out five minutes later, followed by kicking him/her to the curb, I'd say no.

I guess my answer is that if you're serious about him/her, go ahead.

Sorry, typographical error. I'll change it right away.... And thanks for the advice...

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/3/2011 11:53:19 PM

hematitan

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/25/2010
Status: offline

I see this as like forming any other sort of relationship. It's generally a good idea to get to know a person before you make a commitment to them. Some people like to have sex as part of that, others don't. For me, the idea of having a submissive/slave or being someone's submissive/slave implies commitment, and it's not a decision I'd even make until I knew I was compatible with that person and wanted to be with them, same with moving in with someone or marrying them.

If you're not looking for that kind of commitment, then it seems like just a matter of preference to me.

(in reply to ramzaruglia)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 1:23:49 AM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

quote:

If it's cool(...)?

Not if you're not going to follow up, it is not!

quote:

I'm a "theoretical" dom

You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential?

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Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

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Post #: 5

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 2:28:28 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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It's just like any other relationship... If both of you would not do casual screwing, than you shouldn't, until you're comfortable, and trying to form a relationship.
On the other hand, if both of you just want to play the part, and have some fun/sex, it's your business, as long as you are both adults, and hopefully honest with one another about your intent. M

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(in reply to ramzaruglia)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 4:09:29 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Seems to me, as a sub, that the dominant one in a relationship is the one to lead the relationship, and establish the rules. You also need to remember that a M/s relationship is as much a "normal" relationship as a bdsm one - in that you have to be able to relate after the kink is over.
I'm thinking that you need to do some thinking about what you want to have in a relationship - including what that relationship will entail. You also might remember that you can establish all the rules in the world - and that you are the one who will have to supervise all those rules being followed, and that any given submissive can decline to live with your rules.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 6:19:01 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me

< Message edited by salemartist -- 1/4/2011 6:22:33 AM >

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 7:05:30 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The question is, do you have one who is willing to be intimate with you?

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Post #: 9

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 7:39:54 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CherryNeko

quote:

I'm a "theoretical" dom

You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential?

or a phantasist

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(in reply to CherryNeko)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 12:42:11 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia

Hello...

I'm a "theoretical" dom, and I just want to ask. If it's cool to have a certain intimacy to the woman/man who is submissive enough to pledge to me before I collar them?

That is all, thank you...

Depends on what you mean by intimacy...

There is mental intimacy...often seen in people who work closely together and, of a necessity, begin to experience a mental connection IF they can see the endgoal of a project in the same way. This happens between people who are friends, usually best friends. They may not always be in sync with their thoughts...oftentimes are not...but there is a willingness to give and take and learn from the other to keep the relationship a successful one.

There is physical intimacy. Often known just as "sex" but it encompasses so much more...handholding is generally not seen in people who do not feel a close connection with each other, for example. It can vary from holding each other to screwing each other's brain's out. Usually requires some other connection having been made first but the level of that connection can also vary...one night stands to sex occurring only after marriage.

There is emotional intimacy. Shared feelings towards each other, though again...the levels can vary. It's been discussed on these boards that some submissives love their dominants much more than their dominants love them BUT the interweaving of the dynamic and the relationship has led to something that is working for them, despite the differing levels of feeling. Perhaps it is because each side of the equation feeds differing aspects...to the point of satisfaction... within each partner.

I have submissive friends who I can play with and who are submissive to me without my being their dominant. For various reasons, these have not developed into long-term steady relationships with each other...nor, for the most part, would either of us want that. We've all been content with what we share. But each submissive that has been mine has also been my intimate, relationship partner outside the dynamic of Dominant/submissive.

I would say to you that communication here is vital. And keep it going. The cynic in me warns you though...even if you show her all that you are, one errant statement can lead to problems so be careful what you say and, if it is something serious, make sure you explain it all. That might even help to develop even more intimacy.

(in reply to ramzaruglia)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 4:50:23 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me

Brill!
For the annals of Collarme 2010.
(I said annals and not anals).

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(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 6:18:27 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me

Brill!
For the annals of Collarme 2010.
(I said annals and not anals).

*perk*

Did someone say anals?

Oh darn...

OP: craft the kind of relationship you and your partner both want. The trick is finding someone whose needs and desires are compatible with yours... and then not screwing it up once you've found them...

Good luck! Enjoy the journey. Explore, and have FUN!

I love your avatar pic!

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 8:45:47 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Shit, if I can't be intimate, I don't want to do it. There are those of course, who are uncomfortable with intimacy, so, it's something you'll want to work out with your partner - there are no rules, other than don't do anything you don't want to explain to an emergency room doctor.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/4/2011 10:43:28 PM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: CherryNeko

quote:

I'm a "theoretical" dom

You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential?

or a phantasist

It crossed my mind too...

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? - 1/5/2011 4:12:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm assuming it means he wants to be in his next relationship.

Whether or not you want to have sex or emotional intimacy with your sub is up to you. Just inform him/her about it before hand so they can make a decision based on that info.

Also keep in mind that a great many of us aren't interested in anything less than a full relationship, including but not limited to: love, friendship, emotional vulnerability, shared interests etc.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CherryNeko)

Post #: 16

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