Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave?

Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (Full Version)

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ramzaruglia -> Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/3/2011 9:36:05 PM)
Hello... I'm a "theoretical" dom, and I just want to ask. If it's cool to have a certain intimacy to the woman/man who is submissive enough to pledge to me before I collar them? That is all, thank you...

DarkSteven -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/3/2011 9:41:50 PM)
Okay. A Domme is a woman, a Dom is a man. What's a "theoretical" Dom/me? Never heard that one before. The answer depends. If you think of them as a viable partner, then I would consider the sexual aspect to be part of the criteria for considering them. But if you meet him/her and are screwing his/her brains out five minutes later, followed by kicking him/her to the curb, I'd say no. I guess my answer is that if you're serious about him/her, go ahead.

ramzaruglia -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/3/2011 9:49:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Okay. A Domme is a woman, a Dom is a man. What's a "theoretical" Dom/me? Never heard that one before. The answer depends. If you think of them as a viable partner, then I would consider the sexual aspect to be part of the criteria for considering them. But if you meet him/her and are screwing his/her brains out five minutes later, followed by kicking him/her to the curb, I'd say no. I guess my answer is that if you're serious about him/her, go ahead. Sorry, typographical error. I'll change it right away.... And thanks for the advice...

hematitan -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/3/2011 11:53:19 PM)
I see this as like forming any other sort of relationship. It's generally a good idea to get to know a person before you make a commitment to them. Some people like to have sex as part of that, others don't. For me, the idea of having a submissive/slave or being someone's submissive/slave implies commitment, and it's not a decision I'd even make until I knew I was compatible with that person and wanted to be with them, same with moving in with someone or marrying them. If you're not looking for that kind of commitment, then it seems like just a matter of preference to me.

CherryNeko -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 1:23:49 AM)
quote: If it's cool(...)? Not if you're not going to follow up, it is not! quote: I'm a "theoretical" dom You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential?

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 2:28:28 AM)
It's just like any other relationship... If both of you would not do casual screwing, than you shouldn't, until you're comfortable, and trying to form a relationship. On the other hand, if both of you just want to play the part, and have some fun/sex, it's your business, as long as you are both adults, and hopefully honest with one another about your intent. M

kiwisub12 -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 4:09:29 AM)
Seems to me, as a sub, that the dominant one in a relationship is the one to lead the relationship, and establish the rules. You also need to remember that a M/s relationship is as much a "normal" relationship as a bdsm one - in that you have to be able to relate after the kink is over. I'm thinking that you need to do some thinking about what you want to have in a relationship - including what that relationship will entail. You also might remember that you can establish all the rules in the world - and that you are the one who will have to supervise all those rules being followed, and that any given submissive can decline to live with your rules.

salemartist -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 6:19:01 AM)
You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me

LadyPact -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 7:05:30 AM)
The question is, do you have one who is willing to be intimate with you?

Phoenixpower -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 7:39:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CherryNeko quote: I'm a "theoretical" dom You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential? or a phantasist [8\|]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 12:42:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia Hello... I'm a "theoretical" dom, and I just want to ask. If it's cool to have a certain intimacy to the woman/man who is submissive enough to pledge to me before I collar them? That is all, thank you... Depends on what you mean by intimacy... There is mental intimacy...often seen in people who work closely together and, of a necessity, begin to experience a mental connection IF they can see the endgoal of a project in the same way. This happens between people who are friends, usually best friends. They may not always be in sync with their thoughts...oftentimes are not...but there is a willingness to give and take and learn from the other to keep the relationship a successful one. There is physical intimacy. Often known just as "sex" but it encompasses so much more...handholding is generally not seen in people who do not feel a close connection with each other, for example. It can vary from holding each other to screwing each other's brain's out. Usually requires some other connection having been made first but the level of that connection can also vary...one night stands to sex occurring only after marriage. There is emotional intimacy. Shared feelings towards each other, though again...the levels can vary. It's been discussed on these boards that some submissives love their dominants much more than their dominants love them BUT the interweaving of the dynamic and the relationship has led to something that is working for them, despite the differing levels of feeling. Perhaps it is because each side of the equation feeds differing aspects...to the point of satisfaction... within each partner. I have submissive friends who I can play with and who are submissive to me without my being their dominant. For various reasons, these have not developed into long-term steady relationships with each other...nor, for the most part, would either of us want that. We've all been content with what we share. But each submissive that has been mine has also been my intimate, relationship partner outside the dynamic of Dominant/submissive. I would say to you that communication here is vital. And keep it going. The cynic in me warns you though...even if you show her all that you are, one errant statement can lead to problems so be careful what you say and, if it is something serious, make sure you explain it all. That might even help to develop even more intimacy.

Prinsexx -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 4:50:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: salemartist You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me Brill! For the annals of Collarme 2010. (I said annals and not anals).

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 6:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: salemartist You have my permission to be intimate with a theoretical slave, its cool with me Brill! For the annals of Collarme 2010. (I said annals and not anals). perk Did someone say anals? [8\|] Oh darn... OP: craft the kind of relationship you and your partner both want. The trick is finding someone whose needs and desires are compatible with yours... and then not screwing it up once you've found them... Good luck! Enjoy the journey. Explore, and have FUN! I love your avatar pic! [:)]

xssve -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 8:45:47 PM)
Shit, if I can't be intimate, I don't want to do it. There are those of course, who are uncomfortable with intimacy, so, it's something you'll want to work out with your partner - there are no rules, other than don't do anything you don't want to explain to an emergency room doctor.

CherryNeko -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/4/2011 10:43:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower quote: ORIGINAL: CherryNeko quote: I'm a "theoretical" dom You mean that like in, beginner? Or like in, potential? or a phantasist [8\|] It crossed my mind too...

DesFIP -> RE: Is it alright if I get intimate with a slave? (1/5/2011 4:12:33 AM)
I'm assuming it means he wants to be in his next relationship. Whether or not you want to have sex or emotional intimacy with your sub is up to you. Just inform him/her about it before hand so they can make a decision based on that info. Also keep in mind that a great many of us aren't interested in anything less than a full relationship, including but not limited to: love, friendship, emotional vulnerability, shared interests etc.

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