Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

since when


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> since when Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
since when - 12/6/2010 3:42:35 PM   
maturemacho22


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/13/2010
Status: offline
since when is Dominating an art that males must  demonstrate to females who pretend to be submissive ?  has male dominance become some attribute for males to be picked by females before these even prove their submisiveness? who is the supply and who is the demand ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:43:51 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
Talk about missing the boat....again. 

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:47:12 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemacho22

has male dominance become some attribute for males to be picked by females before these even prove their submisiveness?


Yes. It happened in the great s-rebellion about ten years back. Sorry you missed the memo pal.
quote:


who is the supply and who is the demand ?

Whoever has the greater supply of people after them is in more demand and therefore can be more picky.

For whatever reason, I've always found myself to have my fair share of men interested in me. Therefore I get to be fairly selective.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:47:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
ROFL! Since dominant's like you starting popping up. You make saying 'no' easy I would think. Sorry if you aren't okay with that, but hey, it is what it is.

Men claiming to be dominant and expecting a woman to prove she is submissive assume that because they title themselves, the work to prove anything at all is on the submissive. I tend to believe it is both that must prove who they are as people and any respect is earned.

Sorry you got confused about things, but I am sure this bunch will set you right.




_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:48:31 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
The notion of woman's submission is wholly fantasy, they are just dominating from the long way 'round.

You can fuckin' quote me.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:57:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I'm going to save Myself some time here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's both, actually, though it is more apparent on the internet.  There were some threads a while back that included the statistics on non kink dating sites about how lopsided the numbers pan out.  Add the kink and there is an even greater imbalance in the ratio.  The imbalance isn't quite as prominent these days if you attend a munch of a BDSM event, but it's still noticeable.  There are more males on both sides of the kneel than women of either orientation.  Dominant women tend to be the group with the fewest number.

Unfortunately, many men come into BDSM with the mindset that it's going to be easier to find compatible partners when it's really the other way around.  It's actually harder because there are fewer women involved than men, so that nice 1:1 ratio that's out there in vanilla world no longer applies.  Add to that the additional factors that kinky folks throw into the compatibility pool (kinks, degree of control in the dynamic, so on and so on) and it can be very difficult.  If a male expects to find someone in the BDSM world, he needs to recognize that the numbers aren't  necessarily in his favor.



Further, it is My opinion that it is the responsibility of the Dominant to show the submissive that he/she is the person who has the ability to lead.  That the Dominant has the characteristics, capability, in a sense, yes, the art of Dominance.  If you can't do that naturally, there's no reason for anyone to feel submissive energy towards you in the first place.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 3:59:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There are more males on both sides of the kneel than women of either orientation.  Dominant women tend to be the group with the fewest number.



Also... what the smart lady said is worth repeating.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:02:50 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
Mature AND macho huh?  They will be falling at your feet soon I am sure.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:06:41 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

The notion of woman's submission is wholly fantasy, they are just dominating from the long way 'round.

You can fuckin' quote me.


Well, just keep it in front and we'll take the short road.....

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:11:18 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
Oh god, the mind pictures! lol I am a nasty, naughty lady.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:16:16 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
It's a safety thing for me. As I like to be tied up and beaten, potentials have to prove that they are 1. experienced and 2. safe and sane.

I'm delighted to surrender control once I feel safe in doing so.

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:47:25 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemacho22
who is the supply and who is the demand ?

Whoever has the greater supply of people after them is in more demand and therefore can be more picky.

For whatever reason, I've always found myself to have my fair share of men interested in me. Therefore I get to be fairly selective.



Women are in shorter supply on adult sites in general and can usually be the more selective sex. If you have been around here for some time now as you mentioned on another thread this is something that is discussed quite often so it's surprising that it seems that you weren't aware of that. Even as a monogamous collared sub I have a good number of men who express interest in me.

Maybe it doesn't seem fair, but who ever has the power tends to wield it to get what they want. You certainly don't have to play that game, but be prepared to walk away empty handed as the other men get the women. I'm not saying it's right but it is reality.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 4:56:52 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
So they reject you and that means they are only pretending to be submissive? And accepting any and all Dom, Dick or Hairy makes them twue submissives?

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 5:04:16 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemacho22
who is the supply and who is the demand ?

Whoever has the greater supply of people after them is in more demand and therefore can be more picky.

For whatever reason, I've always found myself to have my fair share of men interested in me. Therefore I get to be fairly selective.



Who ever has the power tends to wield it to get what they want.


And speaking of wielding, the surefire way of getting all the attention you can handle is by brandishing, pictorially speaking of course, your sword.

Women start to feel all submissi-squishy.  Do this and you will find out.

Promise.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 5:08:15 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemacho22

since when is Dominating an art that males must  demonstrate to females who pretend to be submissive ?  has male dominance become some attribute for males to be picked by females before these even prove their submisiveness? who is the supply and who is the demand ?



Dominance is not a circus dog that you pull out to perform tricks.  It is a way of thinking and acting.  When I interact with submissive women (or any women for that matter.  My thought processes are not something I can turn on or off), it shows.  Sometimes we mesh, sometimes not.  But if she is genuinely sub, then chances are greater that we'll be incompatible elsewhere than the D/s mindset.  Although for some odd reason, there are several ladies on this site that I am very compatible with in almost every way EXCEPT that we share the same side of the kneel.

Supply and demand?  That is a VERY tough one.  I tend to feel that the supply of female subs is less than the number of Dom men.  But I live in Colorado, which I have heard has a higher imbalance of single men to single women of any state after Alaska, so my view might be skewed.  I HAVE read many sub women's profiles in which they claim that it's dang hard to find a good Dom man, so things aren't easy for either party.

However, I have never read any sub women's statements that there is any shortage of men claiming to be Dominant.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 5:16:09 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline
I don't get the OP, are you seriously trying to indicate that a Man's dominance is a REACTION to submissiveness?  OP, i am not sure you realize that its the dominance that is the actionary concept and the submission is a reaction to same?  I think you may want to study up on the primal concepts of dominance and submission.   If dominance was the reactive concept of the two, then in fact the submission would be the dominant force that causes a reaction.  Submission many times is a survival instinct to a will and force greater than their own, without the SHOWING of a stronger will and force, there is no submission.

Yes, the leaders, men who naturally show their ability to be a dominating force will have women gravitating to them, rather than men who are sitting around waiting for submission before they show how they have a will stronger than theirs.  Seems to me, OP, you want someone to control YOU by being submissive to you rather than you compelling submission through your natural dominance.  I don't get your supply and demand concept. 

All in all, you can actually the dominant force is wanted and until its shown, the women will seek same - bypassing those who believe they are entitled and finding those whose natural existance compels their submission. 

I really do think you would benefit from understanding the primal concepts of each.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 5:53:38 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemacho22

since when is Dominating an art that males must  demonstrate to females who pretend to be submissive ?  has male dominance become some attribute for males to be picked by females before these even prove their submisiveness? who is the supply and who is the demand ?



Since the beginning of time, man.

May I suggest you pick up a subscription to National Geographic or Smithsonian Magazine.  I hear there are pretty cool pictures.  I read them for the articles though.  Honest.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 6:11:27 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

And speaking of wielding, the surefire way of getting all the attention you can handle is by brandishing, pictorially speaking of course, your sword.

Women start to feel all submissi-squishy.  Do this and you will find out.

Promise.

Jeff


See... this is why we get the dick pic threads....


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 6:17:23 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Men are more interested in finding women than women are in finding men. Any guy over the age of 13 knows that. Beyond that is the fact that men typically don't get raped by women however the opposite is true. We have more to lose, we must protect ourselves. To do that we need to screen well.

The fact that you can't pass our screening shows that you aren't safe to be with in the eyes of all the women who have rejected you.

In fact I will say this more strongly. That you will not recognize this simple truth screams danger to us. Any woman who reads this post will now have red flags come up when you contact her. And most of us look at forum postings to see what a man is really like since profiles tend to be rewritten to appear better. Profiles are advertising, touched up pictures and all. Forum postings are the real you. And this is the example of a person who should not be trusted to heed limits when the woman is alone with him, IMO.

I suggest you read a book called The Gift of Fear if you want to learn more.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 12/6/2010 6:21:56 PM >


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: since when - 12/6/2010 7:15:11 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3919
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

Quit whining. It's weak.

(in reply to maturemacho22)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> since when Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109