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New Dom - 12/1/2010 6:13:52 PM

Letmespankyou

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

I am new to the life style and I am convinced that I am a Dom and would want to be a master one day. Although I know my role in life in relation to me and my Sub, I luck the experience. I am wondering if anybody can suggest a means or way I can get exposed to different kind of experiences within the life style.
Thanks

Post #: 1

RE: New Dom - 12/1/2010 6:23:17 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

There's a search button at the top right of the page that can dig up lots of great conversations here. Also, go to google and search with the acronym BDSM and the name of your nearest big city, then look for some local groups. Go to events and demos... meet people. Go to national events, if possible. Check out Our signature for non-fiction books about some topics. And, ask more questions! :-)

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Letmespankyou)

Post #: 2

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 4:35:16 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What she said. Plus, fix your own life. Are you patient or do you fly off the handle before hearing people out? Do you keep your word no matter what? Exceptions permitted for being in a car crash if it wasn't your fault. If it was, then you are trusted to drive anyone.

You want to be the leader in your interpersonal relationships, which means you have to be a good leader. You want to play all night but she needs to be rested for a big project at work? Better be able to tuck it back in your pants instead of making her lose her job.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 3

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 10:56:34 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

It's about control....

You start by addressing things you can control because everything you say or do represents who and what *you* are.

Your profile.
What little there is that isn't gibberish has basic spelling mistakes - shows you're sloppy. We don't talk in glyphs anymore and there is no 't' in "enough".

You've chosen a naked chick as your male/dom avatar.

Even your screen name has a hint of begging to it.

Little things that make BIG impressions about you.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 4

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 11:31:39 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

It's about control....

You start by addressing things you can control because everything you say or do represents who and what *you* are.

Your profile.
What little there is that isn't gibberish has basic spelling mistakes - shows you're sloppy. We don't talk in glyphs anymore and there is no 't' in "enough".

You've chosen a naked chick as your male/dom avatar.

Even your screen name has a hint of begging to it.

Little things that make BIG impressions about you.

Focus.

What he said.
I recently had someone who listed himself as a Dom contact me and ask if we could start talking with the idea in mind of getting together. His profile and emails had many little things in them that were unsure, lacked confidence, and very confused. The end result to me seemed childlike and submissive. I suggested he find out what a 'collared sub' was amongst other things and also do some work on figuring things out for himself - then go forth and present himself as more of a finished product.

Get out and talk to people in RL, read books, read on the internet....CM is a great place to gather material. As you are doing this solidfy what matters to you in your head and then you'll eventually be projecting it so that others can see it. Be aware as Focus pointed out that every thing you do reflects upon you - what is the image you want to project to others? Just be sure that it is honest and not an act. No Dominant puts his/her Dominance on and off like a suit of clothing.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 5

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 4:54:25 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Focus is right. Your profile basically states "I've seen a lot of online porn and read a couple of books and decided that I'm a Dom. But in the bedroom only".

D/s is about much more than playing. You're an aspiring Top if you don't care to be Dom outside the bedroom.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 6

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 8:57:52 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
You've chosen a naked chick as your male/dom avatar.

Easy, Tiger.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 7

RE: New Dom - 12/2/2010 9:36:46 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Easy, Tiger.

But your avatar is hot and screams do this to me....

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 8

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 5:34:57 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Easy, Tiger.

But your avatar is hot and screams do this to me....

Is that a volunteer I see?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Post #: 9

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 7:16:02 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Your profile.
What little there is that isn't gibberish has basic spelling mistakes - shows you're sloppy. We don't talk in glyphs anymore and there is no 't' in "enough".

Focus.

Is it only those with a dominant nature that can decipher his profile?
When I look, it's all pictures and symbols. I must have missed the class on decoding this

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 10

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 7:43:09 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Poise -
It's because you are a fake!

Here's what it says (I put it on my word program and changed the font)

I am new to this life style. I have seen and educated myself about the lifestyle enought to know my role and appreciate the power of submission and now I am convinced that I am ready to meet Submissive women and live the experience. I am looking for a sub who is willing to explore her sexuality and her limits with a newbie dom. I am looking for casual play partner only in bedroom and not serious relationship for the time being. I am happy with my life and looking to spice it up and explore my kinky side with like minded. I am very open to almost anything- some of my fetishes include but not limited to Spanking, role playing, breasts, ropes, gags, deep throating, anal sex, orgasm control,....... I think it is better to discuss the specifics in private.

*I am a gentleman and live a normal professional life outside bedroom.

*I don't have pictures here for a reson but I have picture to show for the interested

Thanks and good luck

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 11

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 10:16:18 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Poise -
It's because you are a fake!

*gasps* I am no such thing!!
Come on.....pinch me and feel my realness!
please?

Thank you for decoding Sunshine. You haz skillz!

< Message edited by poise -- 12/3/2010 10:17:49 AM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 12

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 11:08:51 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Come on.....pinch me and feel my realness!
please?

Wellll, as one who doesn't mind taking on the dirty jobs....

Can't find this 'Thereabouts' listed anywhere, but....

Damned typical.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 13

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 11:17:24 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Here's what it says (I put it on my word program and changed the font)

I am new to this life style. I have seen and educated myself about the lifestyle enought to know my role and appreciate the power of submission and now I am convinced that I am ready to meet Submissive women and live the experience. I am looking for a sub who is willing to explore her sexuality and her limits with a newbie dom. I am looking for casual play partner only in bedroom and not serious relationship for the time being. I am happy with my life and looking to spice it up and explore my kinky side with like minded. I am very open to almost anything- some of my fetishes include but not limited to Spanking, role playing, breasts, ropes, gags, deep throating, anal sex, orgasm control,....... I think it is better to discuss the specifics in private.

*I am a gentleman and live a normal professional life outside bedroom.

*I don't have pictures here for a reson but I have picture to show for the interested

Thanks and good luck

Perhaps I was a bit harsh on him.

He's at least got all the twue dom big boxes ticked....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 14

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 12:14:15 PM

Letmespankyou

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

Wow Interesting, thanks for your responses and wonderful and gracious welcome.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 15

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 12:25:43 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Perhaps you weren't specific enough as to what experiences you wanted to get exposed to...?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Letmespankyou)

Post #: 16

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 6:50:38 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello LMSY -
I'm not sure what you are looking for. Sometimes that's the thing, though, isn't it? Sometimes we don't even know the question to ask! If you are looking for BDSM techniques, then you'll want to consider attending some of the national / international events where people teach those things (or maybe you have local ones?).

You say you know your role in relation to the person you are involved with, so I can only surmise you are asking about technique - learn from someone, books, etc. Practice, and go slowly with each thing. Poco a poco.

Particularly learn about medical / psychological issues around any thing you want to do.

If you could be a little more specific, we could perhaps help you more.

Good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 17

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 7:14:20 PM

dory007

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline

there are many education/munch groups in Georgia. Join them. Go to 1763 in Atlanta and watch and talk with others. and yeah, most of what everyone else said. take control of you first and get your life together. then learn techniques at demos or from other Doms. Read books. Find a mentor.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 18

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 11:07:37 PM

Letmespankyou

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

I should have been more specific I guess. I am trying to learn the techniques just to grow on the life style. If you could help only in that matter I would appreciate it. Thanks God My life in order and not looking advice on that. I define myself and don't need anybody to tell me otherwise.

(in reply to dory007)

Post #: 19

RE: New Dom - 12/3/2010 11:36:58 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Letmespankyou

I should have been more specific I guess. I am trying to learn the techniques just to grow on the life style. If you could help only in that matter I would appreciate it. Thanks God My life in order and not looking advice on that. I define myself and don't need anybody to tell me otherwise.

Ok. Fair enough. (Sadly it's often not true.).

Here's the thing - I have no idea what you mean by the part I underlined. And if I don't, others probably don't as well. Techniques for what? Mind control? Medical play? How to use a cane? What's the best way to clean leather?

Are you asking....

What's the better kind of flogger - rubber or leather?
How do you run an interrogation scene?
How much outside the bedroom should I be in charge or - and how to do that?
What kind of needles should I use for breast play?
Is it ok to wake someone up by fucking her in the ass?
What is the best funishment for naughty girls?
Is there a book or two I should read about rape scenes?
What about food? How can I use it in a scene?
Is it really dominance if she wants to do it?

See what I mean? I have NO IDEA how to answer your question because I have NO IDEA what the question is.

I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just trying to understand.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Letmespankyou)

Post #: 20

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