Termyn8or
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Joined: 11/12/2005
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FR
Buddy o mine from daown saouth told me his Ma measured a porch up, with a measuring cup. It was 104" I think. She just got sick of the olman hunting around like a madman looking for his measuring tape. Shall I look her up ?
Now if yer a real card carryin enjunear, there are ways with ultrasound. For the more advanced perhaps an adaptation of time domain reflectometry. However us homegrown types just need a few household items. A piece of string capable of carrying the weight of the carcass in question,and some things that will contain water. And a stick. If you can't find a stick you're probably not cut out to be a enjunear.
Now amogst the possibilities for the thing that holds water odds are at least one of them has a known capacity. A gallon or half gallon container, better yet both, but we don't want to get too fancy. If you only have one container with a known capacity and desire result with more resolution, you'll have to determine when it is half full (or half empty) and mark it. Other containers help, even if their capacity is not known, as long as you don't exceed their capacity of course. Refer to addendum C for more details.
At roughly eight pounds a gallon, water once divided equally easily yields results within four pounds, then to two pounds using quarter gallons. You tie the main water container to the other end of the string and lift it by the string and see if the turkey or the container comes up. By adding and subtracting the water in the container of course if you determine the weight within two pounds, that then translates at 15 min./lb. to a half an hour. This should sufficiently induce enough BTUs into the carcass for safe consumption by humans. Moreover, cooking the carcass for an extra half hour is not likely to cause serious injury to the delicacy (SP?) and/or texture of the consumable parts.
Thus the problem is solved without an act of congress. (I think that's why they won't give me that enjunear card)
T
Addendum A : Time domain reflectometry was developed a few decades ago to find faults in very long cables. In a way it could be described as cable RADAR, if the cable is faulty under the Atlantic, it helps to know if the fault is three, thirty or three hundred miles away.
Addendum B : Stick can be anything. A spatulam broken broomhandle, anything almost. It's function is to lift, by the string. This allows easier determination of the go/nogo, which is literally which is heavier. It actually could be done without a stick, but that is beyond the scope of this text. Contact the enjunearring department.
Addendum C : This article assumes you have access to water. If not, please disregard this article and contact an enjunearring department. But not ours.
Thank you for choosing .............
hmm.
T
< Message edited by Termyn8or -- 11/25/2010 1:51:36 PM >
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The engineer versus the turkey. - 
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