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RE: Guilt - 10/6/2010 9:51:15 PM

takemeforyourown

Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
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I feel the most guilty for not living up to what I'm capable of, or not doing the things I know are good for me and my family. For me, generalized guilt is more of a survivor's guilt for being a comfortable American in a fucked-up world. It would be more productive to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness. I'm still working on that. (but a nice paddling would sure help).

(in reply to Zevar)

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RE: Guilt - 10/7/2010 3:29:20 PM

femasoslave

Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2009
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I made a pact with myself a lot of years ago to not feel guilty or have regrets for things which I have done in my life......if I did, I would be an absolute wreck now!
What I do do is say that everything I have done has been a part of the journey of my life which has made me the person I am. I like myself.
It's normal to feel a bit guilty about some things which we may do but we get over it and forget about it. I don't think that to feel excessively guilty can ever be constructive for ones life.

(in reply to gungadin09)

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RE: Guilt - 10/7/2010 3:50:25 PM

peacefulplace

Posts: 157
Joined: 8/22/2010
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Guilt? I only feel guilt for things I've done wrong, and those acts can be corrected only by me when it comes to my every day life. Although I serve Sir and believe that my needs are secondary to his, I do not feel guilty for any acts that I do because Sir has asked/ordered me to. If he did, that would conflict with my sense of right and wrong, and for that, I am not willing to make adjustments. Nor do I feel frustration or any other emotion that helps me because I am in a D/s relationship. If I've had a bad day at work (I have a high stress profession), being spanked will likely just give me time to ruminate on the problem. I try to keep my private life separate from the public. I do not blame or criticize those who do find their BDSM relationships to be an outlet to life's everyday pressures. I am only saying that, for me, it does not work.

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If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
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One thing is clear to me: We, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves.
~~Barbara Jordan

(in reply to femasoslave)

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RE: Guilt - 10/7/2010 6:47:58 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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Yes, I have free-floating guilt. I can feel intensely guilty about anything and nothing. I don't do anything specific to relieve it, I think as I've gotten more experience, I just accept it as a silly part of myself (its silly to me because it is unrealistic--I am not actually responsible for 9/10ths of what I feel guilty about). I think I was born with a personality which easily catches this emotion, and being raised in a very rigid Catholic environment didn't help...really didn't help, except in one way: it gave me a keen appreciation for the confession-penance-absolution cycle. Being in a bdsm relationship decreases these feelings for me...or else makes them kind of interesting, because the dominants I've known have liked to play with them.

I keep wanting life to be fair too. (sad smile) My master used to laugh at me (gently but also with great amusement) for that. One of the nicest things about strict bdsm relationships is that while they are, in certain ways, extremely unfair, that unfairness comes in a rigidly structured environment, which, while not particularly predictable, is nevertheless deeply reassuring. You expect unfairness and and you get it. To me that is a lot better than expecting fairness and getting unfairness (although the latter does have its kinky appeal as well).

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(in reply to gungadin09)

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