Knowing the taste of our own medicine.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Knowing the taste of our own medicine.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Knowing the taste of our own medicine.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 8:46:48 PM

LastThoughts

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

A question for the community that has been sitting on the back burner for a while. . .

Should the D / M in an exchange know what it's like to be on the receiving end of which ever impact or education that may have with their respective s/s?

And second, which although only slightly different contextually, very different in meaning; should a D / M be able to perform or withstand his or her own training or impact prior to expectations for another?

View points from either side of the lash are welcome.

_LT

Post #: 1

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 9:58:50 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

in my relationship...hell no!

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 2

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 9:59:30 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I don't think it is necessary for a Dominant partner to have experienced submission in order to be a good Dominant and neither do I think they need to withstand whatever they are doing or will be doing to their submissive partner.

D/s starts and ends in the mind. The first thing you possess is the desire, the second you start to acquire knowledge of what you would like to participate in. The third is to connect with someone on all levels.

The most important attribute for a Dominant to have, is empathy. They do not need to know what it feels like, they only need to know how and why the submissive is feeling what they feel.

It is all quite symbiotic.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/9/2010 10:00:36 PM >

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 3

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 10:10:30 PM

BentUnit

Posts: 897
Status: offline

Being a Switch it just comes with the territory.
My sub side doesn't lessen my sadism or my blood lust.
My Dominant side does actually make it a lot harder for me to submit, but having said that once I found a Dominant that flips my switch <--teehee I made a funny! I have no problems submitting to them even if I am a bit of a handful.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 4

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 10:28:41 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Whatever sensations he would feel from an implement would probably be different than the sensations I would feel, so no.

My owner knows how things affect me. That's the important part of our BDSM activities.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 5

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/9/2010 10:33:27 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Submission is not what is being asked, I think.

I've experienced most everything in my toy bag. I think it helps to refine technique, and gives an idea of what each implement is capable of. Being of a military-type mindset, I do think I should be able to "take it", and I can.

Yes, there are some tops out there who could stand some actual experience. It might give them a clue!

I speak as a person who does not submit, does not have endorphin experiences, and only bottomed for laughs and physical challenge. I still test w very new toy--the inner thigh is great for that. For me, it's part of being a responsible top.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to BentUnit)

Post #: 6

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 1:44:52 AM

LastThoughts

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Submission is not what is being asked, I think.

I've experienced most everything in my toy bag. I think it helps to refine technique, and gives an idea of what each implement is capable of. Being of a military-type mindset, I do think I should be able to "take it", and I can.

Yes, there are some tops out there who could stand some actual experience. It might give them a clue!

I speak as a person who does not submit, does not have endorphin experiences, and only bottomed for laughs and physical challenge. I still test w very new toy--the inner thigh is great for that. For me, it's part of being a responsible top.

Exactly what I was referring to.

I personally do not find motivation, fear, nor endorphins from the end of a whip, but I know it's lick. I know what it feels like to be handcuffed, although I have a habit of laughing at my own expense. As well as expecting someone to keep my world organized and tidy in a fashion I myself am not capable of seems ridiculous and childish.

But then again, it occurred to me that I lead by example. Or more apt, demand by example?

Especially with TENS units and other electrical objects. I think its crucial to understand the flow the electrons through the body and back out prior to subjugation of your most prized playtoy.

Side humor story, trying out a shock collar. I didn't even get the word, Whoa!, out. It was more like a, WH#%^#^%$^.

_LT

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 1:52:12 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I guess the op is talking about the pain side of things and not the mind side.
The problem with pain is, some masochists/submissives can take a great deal whilst others can only take a slap and tickle.
Everyone is different and everyone feels, responds and reacts to pain in a different way. Often masochists speak of preference over implements. Some like it hard and thuddy, others like it sharp and stingy. Some can only take it on their back or ass and others like the bottom of their feet beating.
If a dominant/sadist was to try out what they dish out, that would mean taking a very specific sort of pain that their sub/masochist had his/her own preference on. It may feel good, satisfying and even orgasmic to the sub/masochist but the exact pain inflicted back on him may feel unbearable, disturbing and nasty.
How is that going to leave the dominant feeling? does he/she then imagine that the same pain on her is going to feel the same as it did on him?

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 8

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 4:47:28 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I don't wanna. And most subs I know don't wanna either.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 9

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 4:52:14 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm not sure what you mean by education. Obviously he can't teach me something he doesn't already know.

As far as how something feels, wouldn't help here. He has a higher pain threshold than I do. So him telling me it doesn't hurt that bad wouldn't be taken well. It doesn't hurt him that badly, it does me.

Re doing things for him, I think both partners should want to help out each other. But would he feel the same feelings I have since I'm submissive and he isn't? By no means.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 10

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 5:02:33 AM

BentUnit

Posts: 897
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I don't wanna. And most subs I know don't wanna either.

Don't "wanna" what?

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 11

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 6:57:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most subs don't wanna top their doms to see how it feels from the other side. And when people say all dominants should start as submissives, isn't the corollary there that all submissives should start as dominants - just so you know how it feels to your partner?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BentUnit)

Post #: 12

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 7:02:27 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

Ive enjoyed most of my bottoming experiences so far..and personally it has helped me in several areas (specially caning/whip placement)
but I would not go so far to say it is or should berequired.. I enjoy knowing the sensations liable from a particular toy..and my pet gets a kick out of me enjoying it too.
works for us, YMMV

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 7:02:58 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

As far as the sensations/pain side of my toys.. I know how they feel TO ME ... and that's the key... do I think that's a good thing, yes, I do... I think it makes me (just me) a better Top... and Dominant. I can't, however, know exactly how they will feel for someone else.

Also, I've done my share of submitting and yes, I do feel that makes me a better Dominant. I don't know that everyone needs to do it, but I think its a good idea. That said, no one needs to follow my rules... I know many people who don't think it matters... for me, it does.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 14

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 7:29:08 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The funny part of this is that no one ever suggests it the other way around. No one ever says that a bottom should top just so they know what it feels like. It would be rather silly.

Anything that I can test out on Myself, I have. I'm curious of what it feels like to Me, even though that is going to be different than what it feels like to someone else. I've done things such as practice fire cupping on My own leg and given Myself zaps with My own violet wand. As anybody knows who has done their practice with a whip, you're going to get the chance to 'feel' that, too. I'm a 'try it before you buy it' person anyway, so I've stood at many a vendor's stand, testing this toy or that on My own skin.

Of course, this is purely for curiosity, as the implement isn't going to feel the same to Me or create the same effect in My sub. In fact, it's not even going to feel the same across the board to My various play partners. One may love the sensation and another may hate it.

As for the rest of it, I most likely could withstand My own training. The reason that I don't submit is because it isn't what is natural for Me to do.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 15

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 9:21:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I grew up with 3 brothers, I know what most strikey stingy things, including a Hot Wheels track, feels like.

I've played with whips...yeahhhhhhhhh.......ouch.

I've played with hot wax.....was a fascination as a kid......and gotten in trouble for it!

I've cut and burnt myself plenty in the kitchen.

I've zapped myself more times than I can count on the electric fence, and a few times on other things.

Granted, that's not the point but I had to toss that in there for fun.

The problem with bottoming, for me, is that pain makes me angry. Really really angry. Want to destroy whatever hurt me angry. Usually, because it's an accident and through my own klutziness, and with my own stuff, I don't destroy but instead just cuss A LOT. But I cannot imagine attempting to allow someone else to cause me pain and what I would want to do to them after wards. It would not be a warm fuzzy.

I won't willingly bottom to anyone but yes, I definitely test a bit on my own skin before I am going to grab someone I love and do it to them.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 16

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 9:44:42 AM

LastThoughts

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

Interesting.

Well as some of you are understanding, I'm definitely not referring to trying on a submissive skin in anyway here. Or trying to duplicate a sensation you may have on anyone else. That would require some heavy cloning and DNA engineering feats.

Purely discussing the odd (to me anyway) overtones that I'm finding with D's that seem to reserve training and/or pain experiences strictly to their submissives.

When you bring someone at such a raw and exposed level as BDSM into your world, it seems strange that you wouldn't have explored your own territories before placing natives in your jungle? However, I am looking for a spectrum of viewpoints on this so.

My two cents, not necessarily yours.

_LT

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 17

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 9:50:03 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

LastThoughts, bottoming and submission get mixed up a lot around here.

I fail to see how whacking myself with a cane, or testing out my new cautery pen, has ANYTHING to do with submitting. It has everything to do with how things work and feel. No one processes pain the same way, but processing pain is a mental thing. No matter how high or low a person's pain threshold, they CAN tell the difference in how a 1/4 " cane feels as opposed to a 1/2" one, or why that rubber flogger that seems so light is actually the toy that the bottom wants to hide in the back of the closet.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 18

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 9:56:54 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts
But then again, it occurred to me that I lead by example. Or more apt, demand by example?

That's how I think about it too. I don't want to do anything that I wouldn't do to myself.

Which isn't highly limiting.

(in reply to LastThoughts)

Post #: 19

RE: Knowing the taste of our own medicine. - 9/10/2010 9:58:00 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts
But then again, it occurred to me that I lead by example. Or more apt, demand by example?

That's how I think about it too. I don't want to do anything that I wouldn't do to myself.

Which isn't highly limiting.

There ya go! It's how I feel, anyway. Though there ARE some things where I have personal hard limits, for health reasons.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Knowing the taste of our own medicine.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109