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Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 4:27:26 PM   
gungadin09


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i'm referring to PERSONALITY here, because i think that sadism and masochism can be personality traits and not just kinks. For myself, i see a thread that links my masochistic personality to my mom's, and her's to her mother's. My dad has strong submissive AND dominant qualities. My paternal grandfather was very dominant towards his family, and my paternal grandmother is a strong emotional masochist. i can see a connection between their personalities and my own. i don't know if it's nature or nurture, but i believe that their influences made me who i am.

i'm not complaining. i kind of like my quirky, fucked up life, after all. i wouldn't choose to be someone else. But i was wondering, is anyone else in the same situation? My ex-Master had two VERY dominant parents. My guess is that it's a common situation.

How many people feel that their orientation was influenced by their parents' personalities?

pam

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 9/3/2010 4:30:18 PM >
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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 4:48:40 PM   
Aileen1968


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My parents had a loving, male dominant relationship.
I don't think there was any kind of kink involved.
My father made all decisions.
I am the only one out of four daughters that appears to be submissive in any way.
In fact, my two oldest sisters are very dominant in their marriages.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 5:17:54 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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My parents are not kinky. I am absolutely sure of this because my mother is mystified by the fact that I *am*. In a bemused, 'I don't quite understand how this happened and I do *not* comprehend where you're coming from at all but I'm glad you're having fun' sort of a way.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 8:16:09 PM   
mstrjx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.

Thieves should be spanked. Or worse.

I would definitely say, in answer to the question, that my interests are definitely NOT hereditary.

My father was, honestly (and not being as critical as it's going to sound) as bland as wallpaper paste. My mother, on the other hand, was extremely controlling simply in order to keep things 'ordered' (my words) in her life. What little she knew of my interests were loathed by her. To her, she went to great lengths to simplify my life as that is the way it had to be. If I were elaborate on that, it would probably mystify most. And I will not elaborate.

Our relationship dissolved irrevocably before I was 'of age'.

Having said this, I would not say that my methods or interests have anything to do with her obsession with me. I would say I go out of my way to never resemble that sort of treatment.

Jeff

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 8:41:57 PM   
MarcEsadrian


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm referring to PERSONALITY here, because i think that sadism and masochism can be personality traits and not just kinks. For myself, i see a thread that links my masochistic personality to my mom's, and her's to her mother's. My dad has strong submissive AND dominant qualities. My paternal grandfather was very dominant towards his family, and my paternal grandmother is a strong emotional masochist. i can see a connection between their personalities and my own. i don't know if it's nature or nurture, but i believe that their influences made me who i am.


Behaviors or tendencies can be passed genetically; one could consider the example of a family with a history of mental illness as a general example. Even so, genetic determinism by itself cannot overrule the nurture side of the equation in all areas. We humans are complex and multifaceted creatures that are in constant states of adaptation to our environments. For every hypothesis linking, say, impulsivity or aggression to a genetic syntax, there are an equal number of anecdotes or personal accounts relaying how childhood experiences later came to reinforce aggression, passivity, or the eroticization of some object or scenario in adulthood.

Is sadomasochism hereditary? It could be, but then of course by extension of that thinking, we could narrow the beam further and ask that "natural born slaves" question, which when put to words tends to sound a little goofy.

As an aside, if genetic markers could (and to one degree or another will one day) reliably indicate propensity toward certain behavior, what would the implications for society be then? Such thoughts evoke the specter of man's past follies bent over notions of master races and such; truly a prickly subject. If such understanding ever came to pass, Mr. Galton would be vindicated somewhat after Nazi meddling with his ideas, I suppose—that is, if such understanding was used for good.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 10:19:52 PM   
ResidentSadist


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My dad wasn't a sadist, although both parents were kink lifestyle.  Mom may have been a maso, I'm not.  

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 10:29:31 PM   
inkSecret


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm referring to PERSONALITY here, because i think that sadism and masochism can be personality traits and not just kinks. For myself, i see a thread that links my masochistic personality to my mom's, and her's to her mother's. My dad has strong submissive AND dominant qualities. My paternal grandfather was very dominant towards his family, and my paternal grandmother is a strong emotional masochist. i can see a connection between their personalities and my own. i don't know if it's nature or nurture, but i believe that their influences made me who i am.

i'm not complaining. i kind of like my quirky, fucked up life, after all. i wouldn't choose to be someone else. But i was wondering, is anyone else in the same situation? My ex-Master had two VERY dominant parents. My guess is that it's a common situation.

How many people feel that their orientation was influenced by their parents' personalities?

pam

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.


...My Father was an unchanging, unmoving man.  He wasn't dominant though, nor submissive.  More like a Lone Wolf of Finance.  He was Strong and Powerful in his time.  But when it came to dominating my Mother...  Well...  That just wouldn't happen.

...My Mother was a deluded, insecure control freak.  She needed both attention and control constantly.  And she was never satisfied with it because she never felt like people were doing things of their own free will.  Never realizing she was causing her own problem.

I didn't like any of them.  For the most part, I thought they were useless.

But I can see they influenced my Brand of Dominance.  I hated that my Father was unable to admit he was wrong.
But at the same time I was also Unchanging and Unmoving
What I learned was that Intentions and Ideas do not have to Change or Move.
But Intentions and Ideas were not reality which should be Accepted when presented.

I hated that my Mother was insecure and often had everyone underneath her thumb, but I also found myself doing it to my friends
I realized though that my friends didn't mind that I was so controlling, because I was also leading them to the things they wanted.
And that I would relinquish control in areas that were outside of my jurisdiction
Realizing without the group or partner's free will that the control was useless

I think that our parents do craft us, but we still choose what to do with what they craft.

---

They did a study on twins.  A girl and a boy.
Single mother parent, who was a drinking worthless abusive mother

The boy becomes a respectable doctor, whose rich and good
The girl becomes a drinking worthless abuser

They asked the boy "Why'd you turn out this way" and he replies "Look at my mother, how could I have turned out any other way?"

They asked the girl "Why'd you turn out this way" and she replies "Look at my mother, how could I have turned out any other way?"

---

I think our parents only give us the building blocks, but we decide our personalities based on our ideals and our own core understanding.

---

>_>, it also depends on if you have a huge fucking penis.  xD


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There's no standard to adhere to
We dominate and submit as we choose

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We're not you

Decide your level of involvement
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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 10:37:05 PM   
gungadin09


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i have three sisters, close in age to me. None of them is kinky (as far as i know), and none have domineering or masochistic personalities.

pam

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/3/2010 10:49:59 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


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i'd put my eggs in the basket that says "you get a lot of things from your parents, but most of them are not hereditary".


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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 6:51:38 AM   
DesFIP


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Not on any grounds for me. I cleaned up my mother's sex toys after she died and it was just vibrators and dildoes. Nothing more exotic. Neither she nor my father had any problem alluding to their sex life to us once we were of a proper age. In fact my father has mentioned that he never hit my mother ever.

However, The Man did discover bondage magazines of his father's during his teens. I don't know if they sparked his interest in bondage or just cemented it. He neither knows nor would wish to know if his parents were actively into bondage. But it appears not as nothing came to life after they died and he cleaned up their place prior to selling it. As they died within a short term of each other it is doubtful the survivor while deeply grieving would have had the energy to clean up toys.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 8:14:46 AM   
CaringandReal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.


Evil Thief! (shocked and saddened)

My former master's theory was that it was a little of both. He suspected that some people were born with more of a genetic disposition (or an ability to enjoy) sadomasochism and also power roles, but that it required "triggers" (life events, like watching a movie with a kidnapping scene or playing cowboys and indians or bumping into bdsm on the internet) to pull out that predisposition, make the needs conscious and a part of a person's life. I think that there are some debilitating diseases that are "triggered" in much the same way. If he's right, this idea of triggers that wake up predispositions would explain why some people remember feeling kinky from very early times in their lives while others discover it relatively late in life, and while the majority of people never feel anything about this one way or the other, no matter how many kidnapping scenes they see.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 8:48:23 AM   
daddysliloneds


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think about all the non-consensual sadists who are sitting in prison for life and how many off-spring and other family members of theirs that are on the street; i'm figuring that means something, and it either means it's not hereditary or that it's more of a 'controlled' genetic option.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 1:59:44 PM   
oldbabyface


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Nature versus nurture?

Generally, I think most personalities are the product of nurture, especially doing the earliest years.


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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 9:11:15 PM   
Zevar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

pam

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.


I have a question for you pam. Where on FetLife did you steal this thread from?

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/4/2010 11:46:40 PM   
gungadin09


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i'm not on there very much, but there was this post about whether masochists inherited their charatceristics from their mom or dad. Something like that. i sort of adapted that thread.

pam

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/5/2010 12:52:39 AM   
KiGirl


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Good question...my mom has shown herself to be manipulative and very dominant, while my father favors the compassion and desire to please of a submissive, and I'm a switch, and can see elements of both within me.

But I think it has more to do with my intuition and ability to sense BDSM themes than with physical genetics. In general, people who embrace BDSM are more perceptive and open to the subtleties of a D/s relationship than most. Even before I could put a name to BDSM, I knew that the basic elements held an appeal and fascination for me that was lost on my more vanilla peers.

I'd say it has more to do with a person's sensitivity and focus toward D/s dynamics than your bloodlines that brings a person to emrace BDSM.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/5/2010 5:49:33 AM   
SebastianK


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My personal experience says it can be either way. So I'm leaning towards some predisposition and some spontaneous kinksters ;-)

I have a female switch friend with a Dom brother and a submissive mother. I have male sub friend with kinky parents and a pro Domme sister and two vanilla sisters. My own family is all about as vanilla as they come, though my dad is a natural leader in many ways and I'm always told we're alike. Hence the above conclusion.

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/5/2010 12:30:59 PM   
Zevar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

pam

P.S.- By the way, i stole this thread from Fetlife. Yes, i'm a thief.


quote:

Original: Zevar
I have a question for you pam. Where on FetLife did you steal this thread from?


quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm not on there very much, but there was this post about whether masochists inherited their charatceristics from their mom or dad. Something like that. i sort of adapted that thread.

pam


Thank you for the clarity regarding my question.

Regarding the topic; Is sadomasochism hereditary?

I would say that proclivities toward sadomasochism have not to my knowledge been scientifically proven to be transmitted genetically from one generation to another. There may be studies that are not common knowledge regarding this subject from other fields of study on the topic that may prove genetic connections. Yet as I noted I am unaware of any conclusive study that proves a genetic connection.

Traditionally speaking one could speculate or suppose that sadomasochism could be handed down through generations and be held or possessed by characteristics of both ancestors and descendants. It is also noted that human behavior is learned regardless of the nature of it.

Although sadomasochism is not necessarily behaviorally passed down from generation to generation. From a suppositional viewpoint within families there possibly could be connections between generation to generation that are similar yet not exact in relation to sadomasochist behavior.

Take care!

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RE: Is sadomasochism hereditary? - 9/5/2010 7:51:12 PM   
femasoslave


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hmmmm....I think everyone is influenced growing up by what happens around them...whether they follow the same path or divert because of it. That DOESNT meant that they will get sadomasochistic qualities.
I am a masochist. My parents were quite straight. I had a normal upbringing.

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