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RE: Control - 9/2/2010 9:34:09 AM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		*sees "Control" scroll across her screen as she's checking email*

*Runs in belting out  lyrics of "Pussy Controoool"*

*Exits Stage Left*

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CM's Resident Goof
30 Fluffy points

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Control - 9/2/2010 9:36:53 AM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I am going to go with what ml says up there. Control is control. Whether or not it is consensual is not relevant. Of course... it is not always a situation where the thing is permanant. I turn on the ignition and drive my car where I want. But there are times my car protests and refuses as when my water pump went out last month. The car got to sit it out at a mechanic while I walked.



This made me giggle. I hate it when material possessions are able to Dom me! 

_____________________________

CM's Resident Goof
30 Fluffy points

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Control - 9/2/2010 2:08:44 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

On the other side of the site a random profile popped up with this statement. "Control must be given, if it is taken it is not true control."

It sparked some thoughts in my coffee deficient brain. If the statement is true, what is control if taken? Is it coercion? Oppression? Domination?

If control is given, is it indeed true control? or just the illusion of control? especially if you believe that what is given can just as easily be taken back...



Many a tool will accomplish control.....some of those being oppressive.....some of those being empowering......

Philosphically speaking....you could argue that control must be given by virtue of free will......although that assumes that we're all well informed rational human beings......

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Control - 9/2/2010 2:10:49 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

Just thinking (typing??) aloud here..... is it possible that control can both be taken and given at the same time.  I think that sometimes it is a more organic process that is more about the interplay between the two people rather than one person either taking control or the other ceding.

I dunno though, control is control. One person either has it or they don't and as long as the other person is ok with the other person having control how this happened is not that important - in my opinion.



The problem you'll find here Wanders....is that control is the objective......and much of this thread will be about the means to the end.....

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Control - 9/2/2010 3:05:11 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

On the other side of the site a random profile popped up with this statement. "Control must be given, if it is taken it is not true control."

It sparked some thoughts in my coffee deficient brain. If the statement is true, what is control if taken? Is it coercion? Oppression? Domination?

If control is given, is it indeed true control? or just the illusion of control? especially if you believe that what is given can just as easily be taken back...


A few years back, these Boards had a small band wagon touting "authority transfer" in place of Power Exchange. The big flaw (IMO) was that it amounts to the Dominant being a power/control eunuch until empowered by the submissive and panders to the nonsense that the submissive therefore has all the power and control in a D/s relationship; of even deciding if there will be a relationship.... pffft

This "Control must be given" is of the same fluff. In a healthy D/s relationship, it's consent that must be given (AND desired by the other) and the control factor takes care of itself. IE, any D/s relationship depends and is defined by an *unequal* control dynamic.

Of course the submissive gets to withdraw consent (control) any time they desire. But as far as this Dom is concerned, she only gets to play that relationship ending card *once*.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Control - 9/2/2010 3:43:04 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Personally, I find the statement misses the point in what I think of as "control". Between Carol and I, the totality of the picture is that she gives control and I take it because she is submissive and I am dominant. If she was unwilling to give control it wouldn't work. If I was unwilling to take it, it wouldn't work. In my marriage, dominance and submission work hand in hand.



A whole pie =  control
Each whole pie can be cut into 4's, 6's, 8th's...etc

Does an eager sub give the whole pie of control or little by little?

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 26
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