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RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 7:51:21 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRsoutheast

Interesting , how some words spark such intensity , they were not mine they arrived in an email this morning and i sat and did the same, wondered 'what this zen bullshit was' , but being open minded i decided it would be better to open it up to the many ,,,,,,,, so here we have it a post that has created passion and feelings alas i feel negative ones at that !





Not negative, now that you have come back, it could be a discussion. The way you presented it sounded a bit....hungover. You did not specify that you read it somewhere and thought it interesting enough to discuss.

You did not give your opinion on it so.....

(in reply to SIRsoutheast)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 7:51:27 AM   
ScaryJello


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Now whether or not it works for you depends on a myriad of variables. For me it does. I find that by detaching myself from a task or skillset, I can (in most cases) achieve competence and then mastery of the task ffaster then by becoming emotionally involved. However, some tasks require the use of emotion to reach the highest levels of mastery. I.E. Relationships. A relationship of any kind, be it M/s, D/s, Boss/employee, Friend, Significant other. Whatever.

To emotionally detach yourself from all of those relationships is akin to entering swim meet wearing a full suit of plate mail. You are not likely to go very far, let alone have a shot at reaching the finish line.

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RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 7:53:35 AM   
ScaryJello


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah you posted that as your own words. In the future it would help if you prefaced it with something like "I read this in an email and was curious as to what everyone else thought about it."

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RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 7:56:20 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you received the writing from another source, why did you not credit the author?

At any rate, since it was invited for discussion, this is something that I have seen a change since I became involved in BDSM.  In My observation, when I first started out, there did seem to be more folks who subscribed to the method that was implied above.  That it was necessary to have an element of emotional detachment in order to Master someone properly.  The concept behind this, supposedly, was that in order for a Master to maintain the element of control necessary, especially in the area of discipline, and perhaps even sadism, that love could not co-exist in a relationship where there was a power imbalance.  I might dare even say that some saw it as a sign of weakness to actually love your slave.

Over the years, I've seen fewer people who continue to hold this belief.  I think there has been an evolution in attitude particularly when it comes to M/s.  Somewhere along the line, there was a shift in the mentality and we are much more likely to see the dynamics that we hold as having not that much different of an emotional make-up as our vanilla counterparts.  The inclusion of love does not deteriorate the authority element and in fact allows for us to have such to inspire a greater connection within our dynamics.

This is not to say that there are no longer dynamics out there that are based on service or that emotional detachment is completely extinct from M/s.  Those dynamics do still exist and they absolutely do work for some people.  At the same time, we are moving away from the cold, unfeeling stereotype that it was once believed was necessary to Master ourselves or another.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 8:54:06 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Detachment bothers the crap out of me. If you can't risk being vulnerable to me, why should I devote myself to being vulnerable to you? Power and control can absolutely come from being able to detach momentarily and to manipulate the situation calmly and collectedly, but the relationship as a whole isn't going to be very deep (in my opinion) if you've got one person throwing themselves emotionally at the mercy of the other, who is in turn coldly doling out dominance with a poker face.

Personally, my greatest moments of submission have come when I felt loved and cared for. I can only go so far with straight up power play - I need my Dom to be vulnerable to me to give me the extra push into bliss.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 9:31:00 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

ahhh..I love the smell of zen bullshit in the morning before coffee.

Come now, you can't blame Zen for that bullshit OP! 


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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 9:58:07 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Cant I just like my chair without playing head games with it?


Do chairs have heads? Beds do...not so sure about sitting equipment

Welcome OP!


Seat games, maybe?

As for the OP, not my thing.  I've been with someone who felt similarly.  In the end, I felt he was a slave to his own ideals, as he couldn't just be himself but had to act a part by being so detached.  I'm much more attracted to a master who can be free to be himself AND still retain complete authority.  That's much more impressive to me.


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 8:35:47 PM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline 		Control is an illusion. Understanding that is the only mastery that matters. The rest is just fluff.

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(in reply to SIRsoutheast)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 8:46:07 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		I live off of fluff. No hierarchy of needs or superdoms?

Perhaps understanding is an illusion in itself. Brains are approximate liars.


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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to texangael)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: mastery ????? - 8/29/2010 10:44:29 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Even a grain of sand is dangerous in the right hands. 
~Unknown Zen Dude

But ... the OP is still full of shit.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: mastery ????? - 8/30/2010 12:04:37 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		This is the primary principle set forth in the Bhagavd Gita, also referred to as thyaga yoga:

"To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction." Ch.2 v.47.

"Fixed in yoga, do thy work, O Winner of wealth (Arjuna), abandoning attachment, with an even mind in success and failure, for evenness of mind is called yoga." Ch.2 v.48.

(in reply to SIRsoutheast)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: mastery ????? - 8/30/2010 12:17:29 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		A Buddhist priest told me that to live is to suffer and "death was the end of suffering".  The priest was my longtime childhood friend and I thought he lost his fucking mind moving to France and becoming a Buddhist.  So I read the Lotus Sutra and the Dharmas.  In the long run I figured he was only half cocked because the premise for some of it was very sound and I guess they were good spiritual guides if you're born without a lick of common sense about human nature.

All that being said, the OP is still full of shit.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: mastery ????? - 8/30/2010 3:51:23 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRsoutheast

Interesting , how some words spark such intensity , they were not mine they arrived in an email this morning and i sat and did the same, wondered 'what this zen bullshit was' , but being open minded i decided it would be better to open it up to the many ,,,,,,,, so here we have it a post that has created passion and feelings alas i feel negative ones at that !


Ever happy to declare "I told ya so", I did tell you it doesn't get easier from where you started....

And "negative" ain't the half of it. You're actually trying to unload your own maiden OP onto some mysterious email now that you've sniffed which way the winds are blowing????

Fair dinkum, get your arse back to parliament and stick to phony smiles, false platitudes, shaking hands, kissing babies and generally helping govern your country...!

Focus.

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(in reply to SIRsoutheast)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: mastery ????? - 8/30/2010 7:29:47 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

ahhh..I love the smell of zen bullshit in the morning before coffee.


Dammit Red...  Do you know how PAINFUL it is when you snort CranApple HOT TEA out the nose?!?!?


_____________________________

Anne


"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just STUPID."

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 34
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