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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 10:34:11 AM

pdv99

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 10:48:07 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If you have participated, in the flesh, so to speak, could you be happy/satisfied going back to online only?

No. If life's path forced he and I to be separated for a set period of time, that's different. But starting, being and remaining online? Not for me.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 10:56:14 AM

cassandria

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I believe the internet is a fabulous tool.

I believe in human interaction.

I don't know how to serve fully without feeling his presence above me, around me, encircling me entirely. And just as I struggle with that, I would think it would be the same from the Dominant side. Limiting.

I don't know how to obey text in front of me..not honestly and truly. I believe I would lose heart over time, from the lack of physical use, lack of tone of voice (phones don't do it either - i need the combination of voice/body/HIM), lack of anything REAL. The frustration I feel at the limitations are so intense that it can literally cloud the entire relationship. I can do it for a short time, knowing there's an end in sight..but I have a pretty strong aversion to anything less than complete.

I could go backwards...but I wouldn't want to. And I wouldn't understand why he would want to. Unless it was temporary, caused by life circumstance beyond his control...I don't see it being something I could live with, happily.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 11:58:29 AM

mstrjx

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Online would not be backwards for me. That would be a dead end. Backwards for me would simply be irrelevance. I'm not quite ready for that, though.

Jeff

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 12:00:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I've never done online, except as a joke. I can't imagine it.

When the internets were young, a friend and I were doing pig play with some NJ housewife. The coolest thing for us? That we didn't know if it was a housewife or a some kid with a computer. Anonymous lulz.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 12:28:53 PM

TheHeretic

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I don't get the whole cybersex/online domination thing. I cannot comprehend anyone who finds it preferable.

Could I go from relationships where I can touch, taste, and smell my partner, where the energy flows within the space between us, to something that happens on a computer screen? No. Why would anyone choose to do that?

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 1:42:00 PM

DesFIP

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If this relationship ends, then yes. I probably wouldn't want a full relationship again. So online, or just bedroom submission would be enough.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 2:43:38 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

domidude: What color are your panties?
Moi: Not wearing any, sorry.
domidude: excellent, now pull them dowwn so I can see your naked ass.

Sounds like you had a bot, Win. Bots only work when you answer the way they want you to.

I don't know anyone who would choose the blue pill over the red pill; there is no going back.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 6:52:50 PM

MaamJay

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Not intentionally nor preferably. I did online at the start, found it even moderately exciting ... but once I got into the real life fleshly pursuits, the thrill of online died. Much to the disappointment of at least one subby boy I used to play with online (Aust - Italy!). I just don't have that sort of creativity now, it's a different sort of creativity when it can be real. We still chat as friends from time to time, and he has tried to find real life experiences in his own area with limited success, but I know he wishes I could find the online interest again.

I'm another "never say never" person though, so while My first response to LP's question was a simple NO, I could imagine a scenario where there might have to be an extended online phase ... but it would have to be as a precursor to meeting and being together in real in the foreseeable future. Online just for online, that's a definite NO from Me.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 6:56:28 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This is in direct relation to another thread on the forums.

There are a number of folks who get interested in wiitwd first by doing so online. Many of them move to the physical (meaning in the same room) participation of BDSM.

My question on this is really simple. If you have participated, in the flesh, so to speak, could you be happy/satisfied going back to online only?

Nope.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 8:49:27 PM

thatsub

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Never understood the point of cybering or online "bdsm". I guess it could be like an interactive erotic story. Anyways, no thanks.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 9:32:47 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

domidude: What color are your panties?
Moi: Not wearing any, sorry.
domidude: excellent, now pull them dowwn so I can see your naked ass.

Sounds like you had a bot, Win. Bots only work when you answer the way they want you to.

I don't know anyone who would choose the blue pill over the red pill; there is no going back.

Cali

Hmm, you'd t hink a bot would have programmed himself a bigger penis.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/22/2010 10:35:26 PM

gungadin09

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i'm currently taking a break. But the goal is has always been a real life relationship. Sorry, i'm old fashioned. i need to submit to a PERSON.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 8/22/2010 10:36:18 PM >

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Post #: 53

RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/23/2010 12:58:39 AM

Whenready

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I'm going to go against the flow here.

I don't see online as going "back". It's a communication medium. If I get inside someone's head, how does it matter how I got there?

For example, if I ask my sub to complete a task, are either my dominance or her submission less depending on whether I use voice, phone, or email? If so, why? I dont see it that way.

This is in no way to deride the physical. Flogging aint the same - but the mental contact is. And for the mental side of "my" flavour of D/s, the medium isn't as important as actually getting through.

I'm not in a 24/7 D/s relationship, nor am I likely to be for years. My kids come first, and always will. I don't however see that as lesser nor inferior. Just a thought.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/23/2010 2:50:01 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

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~~~~~~fast reply~~~~~~

quote:

There are a number of folks who get interested in wiitwd first by doing so online. Many of them move to the physical (meaning in the same room) participation of BDSM.

My question on this is really simple. If you have participated, in the flesh, so to speak, could you be happy/satisfied going back to online only?

With me, sadomasochism and bondage can be separated from mental/emotional dominance/submission so that makes this a two part answer.

I do not cyber sexually, nor do I cyber by having someone paddle themselves. Packing my floggers and everything away and never scening again would be a major sacrifice. I can't imagine doing this, but at the same time, I would like to believe that there are some people in this world who are worth making sacrifices over.

As for mental/emotional domination/submission...yes, from both sides of the kneel. Whenready said it well:

quote:

It's a communication medium. If I get inside someone's head, how does it matter how I got there?

For example, if I ask my sub to complete a task, are either my dominance or her submission less depending on whether I use voice, phone, or email? If so, why? I dont see it that way.

This is in no way to deride the physical. Flogging aint the same - but the mental contact is. And for the mental side of "my" flavour of D/s, the medium isn't as important as actually getting through.

The first time I subspaced (yes, this was between 5-6 years ago, lol) it was for someone I was chatting with every day online. We didn't talk about sex, there were no roleplaying parlor tricks...it was just him. I FREAKED when my perceptions all altered, intensely. He helped me through it and I never had any drop. He closed my book, submissively speaking, as nobody could ever take his place. I won't allow anyone to even try.

Subs I've had...sometimes we have merely been together in public talking, like at a park, and it was so good between us that they spaced...and freaked. One even asked if I had done something like hypnosis to him, as he had no memory of talking with me at the bridge for over half an hour and couldn't remember anything he said...but he felt that he was supposed to be with me the following Saturday. What I'm saying is this, not all dominance/submission headspace is limited to the kinky aspects of BDSM or even sex.

Would it be a sacrifice to give up r/t to lock myself into an online, over the phone relationship with possibly some non-kink web camming? Definitely. I hope this never happens to me but if it does...I will deal with it.

Would I ever just wake up one morning and decide to get rid of my large collection of stuff, give up r/t permanently and decide to stick to online? Oh heck no.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/23/2010 6:14:51 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My question on this is really simple. If you have participated, in the flesh, so to speak, could you be happy/satisfied going back to online only?

Not at all. I'd rather do without than substitute in that manner. The inevitability of wanting more and the frustration that follows is a big deterrent. It's not enough.

~porcelaine

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/23/2010 9:06:52 PM

subanthony2010

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Nope I couldn't go back, but I could be a friend.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/23/2010 11:35:01 PM

jennylondon

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I think both are nice. Have more experience of real life than online but have enjoyed both and
mean to continue. The person you do it with is important in both cases of course.
Were I made to choose tho I'd choose the real thing.

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RE: Could You Take A Step Back - 8/24/2010 12:18:29 AM

HisEvelyn

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I began entirely online. Since moving into real-life experience, albeit in a long-distance relationship? I don't think I could go back to online only. Though for the times my Master and I are apart, online still works very well for us, as we are both writers and very descriptive in our sexual roleplay with one another.

I cannot ever see myself having a completely online BDSM relationship again, though, as I dabbled in before being claimed by my Master. I'd crave the physical contact, the expression in the eyes, the intense intimacy too much. I can go for a while without physical, only with written words and phone, but I NEED those long real-life weekends in my Master's company to be completely fulfilled.

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