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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Could You Take A Step Back (8/23/2010 2:50:01 AM)
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~~~~~~fast reply~~~~~~
quote:
There are a number of folks who get interested in wiitwd first by doing so online. Many of them move to the physical (meaning in the same room) participation of BDSM.
My question on this is really simple. If you have participated, in the flesh, so to speak, could you be happy/satisfied going back to online only?
With me, sadomasochism and bondage can be separated from mental/emotional dominance/submission so that makes this a two part answer.
I do not cyber sexually, nor do I cyber by having someone paddle themselves. Packing my floggers and everything away and never scening again would be a major sacrifice. I can't imagine doing this, but at the same time, I would like to believe that there are some people in this world who are worth making sacrifices over.
As for mental/emotional domination/submission...yes, from both sides of the kneel. Whenready said it well:
quote:
It's a communication medium. If I get inside someone's head, how does it matter how I got there?
For example, if I ask my sub to complete a task, are either my dominance or her submission less depending on whether I use voice, phone, or email? If so, why? I dont see it that way.
This is in no way to deride the physical. Flogging aint the same - but the mental contact is. And for the mental side of "my" flavour of D/s, the medium isn't as important as actually getting through.
The first time I subspaced (yes, this was between 5-6 years ago, lol) it was for someone I was chatting with every day online. We didn't talk about sex, there were no roleplaying parlor tricks...it was just him. I FREAKED when my perceptions all altered, intensely. He helped me through it and I never had any drop. He closed my book, submissively speaking, as nobody could ever take his place. I won't allow anyone to even try.
Subs I've had...sometimes we have merely been together in public talking, like at a park, and it was so good between us that they spaced...and freaked. One even asked if I had done something like hypnosis to him, as he had no memory of talking with me at the bridge for over half an hour and couldn't remember anything he said...but he felt that he was supposed to be with me the following Saturday. What I'm saying is this, not all dominance/submission headspace is limited to the kinky aspects of BDSM or even sex.
Would it be a sacrifice to give up r/t to lock myself into an online, over the phone relationship with possibly some non-kink web camming? Definitely. I hope this never happens to me but if it does...I will deal with it.
Would I ever just wake up one morning and decide to get rid of my large collection of stuff, give up r/t permanently and decide to stick to online? Oh heck no. [:D]
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