RE: Strong subs.. (Full Version)

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twicehappy -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 5:09:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

My definition for doormat is any subbie more submissive than you think she should be or want her to be.


A doormat, male or female, is someone who allows themselves to be abused, used in any manner irregardless if it is a manner they enjoy or not, it is someone who to my mind has very low self esteem.

Basically it denotes someone who allows themselves to be walked on; hence the definition "doormat"



TxBadMan -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 5:19:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazypatient

how to masters feel about strong subs?  I find men that think that all women should be totally submissive... but most turely strong men require their women to be strong enouph to be a challenge to dominate...  any man can dominate a weak woman, it really takes a man to dominate a strong woman... any thoughts?

Are you talking about physical strength? Or mental, emotional strength?
My girl is no match for me physically. But on the other side, mentally, and itellectually, she is far superior than I am [:)]
I would not want it any other way. I absolutly love the way her mind works at times.



cloudboy -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 7:09:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

Meatclever greetings

may i ask why did you pick your name

mons/jane


"Serialkiller" was already taken.



meatcleaver -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 7:12:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

Meatclever greetings

may i ask why did you pick your name
I know my name is very different but yours
is scary oh do forgive me but i have this thing
about knives I am silly but they scare me silly.I
wonder why that is all i have my name i wanted it
to be so different from any other dommes names
It is different so come tell me ( please )

mons/jane


There is nothing sinister about it. LOL. I was browsing CM when I decided to register and I happened to be designing a meatcleaver for a client at the time.

Maybe my client was a little sinister but he swore he was a chef. His name was Sweeny Todd I believe.[sm=hair.gif]



subjected2006 -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 3:00:50 PM)

it takes a lot of strength to be a good sub..
when every instinct a sub has is screaming at her to run,to close up..,it takes a huge amount of strength not to.
i trust Master.
yet fear is fear.



pgqosk -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 4:38:20 PM)

crazypatient,

I really think you have two separate issues in your question.... how does the "Wanna Be" Dom like his submissive to act... and how does the "Real" Dom like his submissive to act??

Now it isn't great to use super general labels, but sometimes you can to make a point. My point being is that there are Doms out there who either don't want to put the time and effort into a relationship, or don't know how to. Those are the Doms who will more than likely want the very easily bent submissive that is not a strong person in will, and possibly in self worth. Then there are Doms out there who want to take their time with a submissive, get to know the person, get to know their likes, dislikes, wants and needs... learn their temperament, and work to control it as the submissive gives them more trust as they earn it.... those submissives are probably the ones that are happy people in their lives, very strong in personality, happy fun people in general.

But then there is also the strong willed sub that wants control... who really isn't a sub at all in some ways... they are playing a role to get someone to do exactly as they wish... they have learned to use their "submission" as a tool of control. These are people who Top from the bottom. They know they have total control of the situation and person they are with even if they are on the receiving end of the whip, crop or flogger. These are not switches.. that is something else... they are controlling, strong willed submissives who seek out a weak Dom, or a Dom who can be bent to do as asked.

Don't get me wrong, I think any sub always holds onto control in that they can always call their safe word and end the play. The trick is to work to make sure they never want to by staying within the limits of the control they have given over to you, the Dom.  Did that last part makes sense?? LOL

Steven--



ladychatterley -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/21/2006 4:50:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

Meatclever greetings

may i ask why did you pick your name


There is nothing sinister about it. LOL. I was browsing CM when I decided to register and I happened to be designing a meatcleaver for a client at the time.

Maybe my client was a little sinister but he swore he was a chef. His name was Sweeny Todd I believe.[sm=hair.gif]

That was really good.  Too good at least!  But then again I don't commit sins of the flesh, so I'm pretty fresh.



ImpGrrl -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/22/2006 11:31:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I only want a class 7 submissive with a personal strength measurement of 6 and submissive index of 9.


Damn!  I'm class 8, and my submissive index is only 8.5!



ImpGrrl -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/22/2006 11:34:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pgqosk

crazypatient,

I really think you have two separate issues in your question.... how does the "Wanna Be" Dom like his submissive to act... and how does the "Real" Dom like his submissive to act??

Now it isn't great to use super general labels, but sometimes you can to make a point. My point being is that there are Doms out there who either don't want to put the time and effort into a relationship, or don't know how to. Those are the Doms who will more than likely want the very easily bent submissive that is not a strong person in will, and possibly in self worth. Then there are Doms out there who want to take their time with a submissive, get to know the person, get to know their likes, dislikes, wants and needs... learn their temperament, and work to control it as the submissive gives them more trust as they earn it.... those submissives are probably the ones that are happy people in their lives, very strong in personality, happy fun people in general.

But then there is also the strong willed sub that wants control... who really isn't a sub at all in some ways... they are playing a role to get someone to do exactly as they wish... they have learned to use their "submission" as a tool of control. These are people who Top from the bottom. They know they have total control of the situation and person they are with even if they are on the receiving end of the whip, crop or flogger. These are not switches.. that is something else... they are controlling, strong willed submissives who seek out a weak Dom, or a Dom who can be bent to do as asked.

Don't get me wrong, I think any sub always holds onto control in that they can always call their safe word and end the play. The trick is to work to make sure they never want to by staying within the limits of the control they have given over to you, the Dom.  Did that last part makes sense?? LOL

Steven--


This was so full of misconceptions and OTW-ism I don't know where to begin.



puella -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:37:37 AM)

OTW-isms?



ownedgirlie -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:40:07 AM)

I'm going to guess Off The Wall but all the accronyms in here are turning to alphabet soup in my brain.  [8D]

The point is, in my humble little opinion, to make such a statement without any explanation at all, nullifies and voids such a statement to begin with. 



RiotGirl -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 9:07:20 AM)

quote:

A doormat, male or female, is someone who allows themselves to be abused, used in any manner irregardless if it is a manner they enjoy or not, it is someone who to my mind has very low self esteem.


hmmmmmmm i've a question for you. = )  You say a "doormat" (skip the abused part) "used in any manner irregardless if it is a manner they enjoy or not" (skip the low self esteem part)

LOL yes i'm picking apart your sentence!  But with mid part also relating to doormat and it being the only one i can debate over = )  So....  <grin>  Are slaves, or do slaves only allow use of themselves in a manner they enjoy?  Are you tellin me, that slaves only submit when they want to?  That if they submit to something they dont want to do (ooh yes and i get to throw in the rest of your sentence) they're being abused and have low self esteem?  Does that mean slavery is just all about "feel good" stuff?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm



understud -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 10:47:56 AM)

OOOkay let me try and understand;

if i am a doormat; i'm not worth the trouble
if i have an opinion i'm rebellious and not worth the trouble
if i object and cry foul i/m not truly submissive
if i obey in all things i'm too easy  and no fun
if i don't obey i am only playing at being submissive
if i do obey i am not interesting
i begin to think ; is there is no way just  to live en let live
what ever happened to each there own and  if it works for you?
no, this is not as disrespect but befuddlement at trying to understand; just what if anything a submissive might actually do right, in a very general application of course. one on one i see no problem but in general as an accepted ...god here  is that word  again...label..UAGH.  i am not a doormat, i am pliable and willing to yield to my Dom or Domes leads... Excuse me please , i'm way to inexperienced to be here right now ....but then again 
hummmm i am way too new for any part of this, but i'm going to file it away in the sub-folder; and then when i feel worthy enough ... go on a rant...bewildered but always respectful
understud



puella -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 10:51:36 AM)

hehehehe

Way to go, understud!



ImpGrrl -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 7:57:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

OTW-isms?


OTW = One True Way



ImpGrrl -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:01:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I'm going to guess Off The Wall but all the accronyms in here are turning to alphabet soup in my brain.  [8D]

The point is, in my humble little opinion, to make such a statement without any explanation at all, nullifies and voids such a statement to begin with. 


If you are referring to my statement, I'm not sure how a simple statement is null and void simply based on being simple.

If one desires more information to decide if they agree or not, one should ask for more information.  If one doesn't care enough to ask for more information, there's nothing wrong with that either.  But to declare it "null and void" simply because it lacks further information is giving up before the discussion has begun.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:24:50 PM)

I didn't say it was simple.  Nor did I say it was null and void because it was simple.  Perhaps null & void was the wrong thing to say.  I should have said throwing a statement out there with no qualifiers makes it meaningless to me.  I am always up for discussion, but what you offered what not that, which was my point.  Had you offered a statement that had sentiment or information to explain where it came from, there would have been something to talk about.  Instead, it was a criticism of what someone else said, but it lay flat with no substance, so I commented on it.

You are correct; It was not null and void.  But it had nothing to offer me.  I used the wrong words to say that. 



juliaoceania -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:35:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think it depends upon the dom...and, of course, upon the sub.  I've found that most doms (at least, the ones I know) say they don't want a doormat, but if I question them, the answer is too often "because that's what I wish".  I understand that that may be the ttue answer some of the time, but I am troubled by the frequency.  I've found that many doms don't want a strong woman or a particularly intelligent one.  Perhaps, I've simply run into the wrong doms..I don't want to judge them all based on a few bad apples.


I find that this attitude is that of a busy parent... "Because I said so.." answer to a question... I didn't accept that as a child and I do not like it as an adult.. All thinking people question things, and it is a little lazy to answer "Because I said so".. especially when it is not during a scene.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 8:42:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think it depends upon the dom...and, of course, upon the sub.  I've found that most doms (at least, the ones I know) say they don't want a doormat, but if I question them, the answer is too often "because that's what I wish".  I understand that that may be the ttue answer some of the time, but I am troubled by the frequency.  I've found that many doms don't want a strong woman or a particularly intelligent one.  Perhaps, I've simply run into the wrong doms..I don't want to judge them all based on a few bad apples.


I find that this attitude is that of a busy parent... "Because I said so.." answer to a question... I didn't accept that as a child and I do not like it as an adult.. All thinking people question things, and it is a little lazy to answer "Because I said so".. especially when it is not during a scene.


"Because I said so" never much worked with me, either.  I always wanted to understand whyyyy...lol. But, while Master has the right to use that or any other reason he wishes, I don't think he has ever said that to me.  It has been important to him that I understand why he is as he is.  And it has been most helpful in my submission to understand, even if I don't like it much.  It helps me relate what I am doing to the bigger picture.  Sometimes I don't receive or even understand the reasons until much further down the road, but they still help put the pieces together.



BitaTruble -> RE: Strong subs.. (4/23/2006 9:35:38 PM)

Hmm.. interesting. Any sentence which begins with 'because..' means a question of 'why' was asked. Asking 'why' implies a request or command was given if the answer to 'why' could begin with 'because'.. and when a request or command is made.. I don't ask 'why'. I'm in the middle of carrying out that request or command. That said it's come with a lot of time because, and many may not know this but you can verify it with Himself, I used to be the Queen of Why.  ::it's a small kingdom in upper Furnesia.. don't try to find it on a map though.::  ;)  I abdicated to because his court jester.

Celeste

edited to fix the spelling of Furnesia



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