hypochondria

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

hypochondria

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> hypochondria

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

hypochondria - 8/12/2010 1:09:06 AM

pemblerose

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

hello.

im not sure how appropriate it is to ask this here, but i got a lot of good advice about something else a while back and so i thought, its worth a shot.

my step son has developed hypochondria, he's 14 now and keeps on finding lumps in himself and thinks its cancer. he gets really morose and cant settle or concentrate.

the thing is he is otherwise totally healthy and these lumps arent anything, we all have them theyre little fatty cells and ive shown it to him on the computer and we dispell a lump and then next week theres another one. a few months back he thought he had testicular cancer and so i got a picture up on the internet and showed him all the bits and pieces to be found in a testicle and the description of testicular cancer which is nothing like what he was feeling. so that was dispelled, now he's found another lump somewhere else.

what im asking is - does anyone know anything about this and how to handle it. we're in contact with his doctor and he has referred Jack for counselling

i just wonder if anyone knows or has had experience of this, also closely connected to panic attacks apparently, which he's had. and if there is anything i can be doing to help him through this myself.

ive read up on the net and ive joined a couple of self help groups on there, but they dont seem to be much help.

in all other ways jack is really healthy and well, he has a group of really great friends and he's loved to pieces by lots of people. this is just making me feel so sad for him and inadequate.

thank you very much for reading that and for any help you can give.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 3:13:33 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

when I was a teenager (many, many years ago!) I was a hypochondriac. At the time, I thought I was dying, but with the benefit of many years of experience between now and then, I realise I needed attention. Any attention.

There were some serious family problems at the time, and I was depressed. I felt unloved, and I didn't love myself. Being ill gave others a reason to show that they loved me. I didn't get counselling, although I wish I had. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I tackled the problem myself (with the help of a counsellor) and figured out my issues and successfully addressed them.

If your stepson is having panic attacks as well as hypochondria, then your doctor's referral for counselling was a good idea. It sounds as if you really care for him - just keep on showing him that he is loved and wanted, and let the professionals work their magic

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 4:16:25 AM

pemblerose

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

the doctor said to me today that he wished that all internet sites giving out health advice be banned! - ive been reading all around this and its got me really worried, theyre talking about it leading to self harm and all sorts. his dad says he'll grow out of it, i think he's lost patience with it now.

his panic attacks were when he was younger. he doesnt seem to be having those anymore - just this preocupation with cancer. ive read about that too and apparently its often kicked off by a death in the family and his mum died, so maybe its that and maybe he will grow out of it. god i hope so! youre answer was really reassuring, thank you. he is loved, very loved but he's had a tough little life so far, not that he's little anymore, he's taller than me. i just hate watching him in so much fear, prodding at himself and looking so scared. i want to reach inside his head and scrub all of that fear out of him, but i cant. all i can do is watch and reassure. but then i read something somewhere else that said you shouldnt reassure that just makes a hypochondriac worse. maybe i should listen to the doc and stop reading that stuff.

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 4:27:10 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I wholeheartedly agree - stop reading the stuff and listen to the doctor

But counselling will help - he needs a non-involved third party to talk through his issues with. His mother's death is very likely to be the reason for his preoccupation with health. Mine was triggered by a serious illness in a sibling, although it took a year or two after their illness passed for my hypochondria to show.

I'm not an expert, except in my own situation

Just go with your gut, continue to do what you're doing and show him the support he needs. He may well 'grow out of it', but while he's 'in it', it's a very scary place for him. I wouldn't ignore his concerns, but talk through them rationally.

Conversations like "you have a headache...why do you think it's a tumour? Is your neck stiff? Did you sleep well last night? The alternatives are stress headache, dehydration, flu, etc etc'.

Help him get things into perspective (like you're doing) and be patient.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 4:59:13 AM

pemblerose

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

thank you. and thank you for discussing youre private life to help me too. it has helped. just tapping it out has helped. im hopeful about the counsellor and the doc is great. at least hypochondria is understood now and there is help for it. now all i have to do is get the 'little' toad to the counsellor, he can be so obstinate, like his dad i guess. thank you again.

may i ask if you still have anxieties or have you got rid of it now completely - something else i read (lol) - that it can go on and on and on into life

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 6:12:41 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

If i recall correctly, it is sometimes related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but almost always related to depression.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 6:21:11 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

my hypochondria was linked with mild depression

I did go through a period of time during my 'recovery' where I struggled to tell real 'serious' symptoms from 'minor' symptoms. Hypochondria gets you into the habit (if that is the right word) of turning everything into something major, and you tend to lose your sense of perspective. For that reason, I stopped going to see my GP at all. For about four years. I didn't go for pap smears, or any of the routine stuff.

It was only when I felt so poorly I couldn't drag myself out of bed that I forced myself to see my GP, who admonished me for leaving what I thought was 'a bit of a cough' until it had turned into a nasty case of bronchitis, triggered by up-until-then undiagnosed asthma.

I had a good chat with my GP, explained my issues and she was fab. Told me that she'd NEVER get angry with me for coming to see her, and that if I was unsure about anything to ring the surgery. That helped a great deal.

Now that I'm much older, I don't have any real problems, except every now and then I will stress a little about going to the GP for stuff that I'm "sure" is minor. So far I've been wrong

Hypochondria is a symptom (at least in my case), and not the illness itself. Depression/grief/loss is the illness and it's manifesting itself through hypochondria. A therapist or counsellor, along with a supportive family, will make all the difference.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 7:28:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Depression is very common in teens. It's treatable and in many cases a year or two of meds can give 20 or more years of remission. Although it's likely to recur come middle age. Anxiety disorder is not likely to disappear. Most mood disorders tend to occur in combinations. It's unlikely to get only panic attacks and no depression. However there are ways to manage them so they lessen or are controllable without meds. Although if you need medication to deal with it, that's not a big thing either. My oldest simply needs the anti anxiety meds to help her sleep. She takes them with dinner and can then fall asleep three hours later.

However it is incorrect to tell him there's nothing wrong with him, he's imagining it. Because there is something wrong with him. It just happens to be in the brain and not the body. If he had an eye condition that made everything look green to him, you wouldn't just say there was nothing wrong, he was imagining things looked green. You would explain things weren't really green, his eyes were doing that. In the same way, his brain is doing this and this is a real condition which deserves as much respect as any purely physical condition.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 8/12/2010 7:31:29 AM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 10:29:24 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

My niece experienced something similar after her dad died when she was nine. For her though it manifested in her being terrified that someone close to her would die so even if one of us had a mild cough she would fear the worst. She is 18 now and whilst she still has moments of extreme worry for the most part she is like every other 18 year old ie. spends her life texting, on the phone or on facebook

Counselling is definitely going to be helpful, it may be that this is related to issues of grief and loss. I agree totally with the comment earlier about wishing that the websites that talk about health conditions be banned as they truly do cause so much angst for people who use them to incorrectly self diagnose. And yes the reassurance can set up another cycle of unhelpful thoughts eg. she is only saying this to make me feel better or to hide the truth from me.

As for his dad possibly having lost patience...if his son had diabetes and needed to give himself injections or had sugar lows would he lose patience with this? What his son is going through is no less real a medical condition, it simply is that it may be psychological. It can be extremely difficult for someone who has never experienced sever anxiety to realise just how crippling and how real these thoughts can seem.

Keep doing what you are doing which is love him and listen to him. I wish you all the best for you and your family

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 11:12:56 AM

KariCloud

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline

From my experience working with what are called "disturbed" children (those with mental/emotional issues), what works for the caregivers is this. Designate some time that is just for you and him, and do something fun. Maybe play a video game together that he enjoys. Maybe take him to an arcade that he likes and play games there together. Take him out to his favorite restaurant, or park, or talk, or draw pictures together.. Sorry, having trouble with actual ideas, the children I worked with ere kindergarten-aged. A bit different likes! And of course, make sure the time works with him too, and make sure he understands this is HIS time with you.

Don't let anything, including misbehavior or punishments or anything of the sort, interfere or intrude on this "one-on-one" time. Let him dictate what you talk about, and maintain a positive, interested appearance and tone of voice regardless of how you feel about the topic he's conversing about. This is SO important, because by your expression of interest in what he is interested in, you are actually expressing interest in him. I'm not explaining this well, I think... The point is to be interested in HIM, and to show it clearly. If you know what his favorite subjects are, spend some time before the time with him doing some research about it, so you can hold up your end of the conversation. If it's sports, look up who his favorite athletes are and what their latest achievements are. By doing this, aside from having to struggle through a subject you don't care for, you are showing an interest in him. This is the entire idea behind this one-on-one time.

In the Child Development field, this is what's called "floor time" and is something my teachers stressed was necessary for all children, "disturbed" or not. A guy by the name of Stanley Greenspan coined the term, I believe. I can't find a good link that explains it... Wish I could link to a few pages in one of my textbooks! It is most often referenced as a "treatment" for autistic children, but it's beneficial to just about any child.

As a caregiver (I was an assistant teacher) there isn't much else that the professionals thought was useful for me to do for these children. But floor time had some truly amazing results, once I figured out how to do it. It is essentially showing the child that they are important, that what they are interested in is important, to ME as an adult.

Here's the closest I could get to a good source on floor time: http://www.doh.state.fl.us/AlternateSites/CMS-Kids/providers/early_steps/training/documents/floor_time.pdf Getting one of Greenspan's books on it might help, too, but of course that costs money.. Talk to your child's doctor, or therapist, about floor time and see what resources they can point you at about how to integrate it into your interaction with him.

It isn't a cure-all, of course. But it can and will, if done right, significantly strengthen your relationship with him, it will give him a sense of importance and value, it will show him that he and what he feels is important actually ARE important to the people that matter in his life.

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 1:12:27 PM

pemblerose

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

ive copied the 'floor time' down into my documents and ill go through it all with a cup of coffee. thank you everybody for what youve said here. i checked out OCD and that seems to be more related to compulsive obsessions like washing hands or in the case of one girl, if anything happened 3 times then that meant something really bad would happen. i dont think jack has got to that, but i do think he is depressed, but i think his depression is based around this fear. when he's busy and happy he doesnt even think about himself, he's too busy having fun.

its interesting what kariCloud said because its probably been since jack and i stopped doing stuff together that this has cropped up. 14 and he doesnt really want to do stuff with me, he wants to do stuff with his dad and his mates - im the bottle washer and taxi service, which is fine, but im going to have to think up something we can do together that he's going to want to do too. like the other week i suggested we go into town and buy him some new jeans and a pair of new trainers and he asked if id go for him so he could hang with his mates. but now i have a bigger reason to try harder. thank you so much.

(in reply to KariCloud)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: hypochondria - 8/12/2010 1:36:21 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Did his mom die of cancer? Maybe that's why he's obsessed with cancer, and lumps and illness.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pemblerose
just this preocupation with cancer. ive read about that too and apparently its often kicked off by a death in the family and his mum died,

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to pemblerose)

Profile

Post #: 12